for my friends and family, i wish for them the courage to live the way they really want to live.
for myself, i wish to be a better person.. naturally so instead of by conscience efforts.
lastly, i wish for X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X.
eyes closed fingers crossed breath held..
enter the sunlight conquering the sky just me and this peaceful shoreline an angel came from heaven i thought to save my life
oh the words he spoke the beauty to behold how could i ever have known he would be the one to break my heart it's irreparable
for a fleeting moment i found happiness it's really all i have left time has lost all sense til it's 10:04 again but i don't want this to end
chorus to love you is my destiny i guess i knew you would leave eventually still i loved hopelessly i wanted your love...Read more
**amazingly i feel unburdened today. and happy. go figure.
this calls for a colorful entry in my somber, depressing blog
ahem grace's list of things that turn her on about guys..**
super confident .. yet still humble . [that's possible yeah?] simple.
straightforward even-if-it-breaks-my-heart honest good hearted boys with fun tendencies ^^ athleticism. [OMG how i ADoRE thos...Read more
the past. we're supposed to leave it alone. but i just can't help myself. :-( we used to be really happy together. it was a stable, healthy relationship.
and then it turned bad. i was treated so horribly, the aftermath always being terribly painful and repenitent.
so i left.
it's been almost 10 years now and we met randomly.
i just couldn't help myself, even though the cautious, reasonable side of me screamed "be careful! you know how it's going to turn out!!"
as always, i did...Read more
there's just something about riding on a dimlit bus in the dark of the night, sloshing through the rain-washed city streets, that makes me pensive. and sappy. then hopeful. then depressed again. it's quite lovely actually. cuz that's when i write some really beautiful songs so here's my new creation.. written to soothe my frustration.. a wish that someone somewhere would feel this way about me.SiGH
^_^ oh how i love being a troubled lovesick artist.
it's hard to know what is real in this crazy...Read more
'gray skies blue' is an phrase from a notably poignant song i wrote at age 17.
it was written on an airplane flying across the continental us. i was finally leaving maryland for good. at the time i wasn't sure if i'd ever return and part of me felt very sorry for it. i guess this song appeased my need for documentation of this transitive phase of mine.. as well as allowed me to state (if only to myself) that i wasn't okay, that i was still hurting. i think that at the time i just didn't want to...Read more
is it worth it?
turning the other way.
letting people use you.
make money off you.
when you know they don't care about music.
altering your music.
just to get the job done.
just to be a singer.
it's my dream.
but is it worth it?
feels awful. maybe i'll j...Read more
purple grape juice is my best friend.
well at least since the daymy heart began mistreating me.
although i can't blame it for all the stress i've put it through.
some day the moment will come. and when it does,
i will linger there..
with a tiny, fearful smile upon my face.. brimming with confusion from the inner upheaval of exuberance versus anguish.deciding in the end to both laugh out loud while shedding tears of not joy, but extreme sorrow.
and for the first time in my life, i will speak confidently. and i will say, "i knew this day would come. i knew my hope would not be fruitless."
all the while knowing that i was never sure.
i must be strong.
i musn't cry.
i have faith in people.
no matter how badly they treat me.
i choose to believe it is circumstance and not ill will.
and should it be ill will, i think that i am strong enough now to forgive.
and forget.i will not conform to societal standards.
no matter how much criticism i face
no matter how crazy or idealistic people think i am
no matter how arduous it is and how facile it would be...Read more
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