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Tuesday, May 27, 2008 12:34AM / Members only
so we're still shooting our passion project, and i guess i'll have to find out if it's ok to say the name of it so that i can spill it, but i can never get quite used to having a gun pointed at me, fake or not. i get angry when it's pointed around me either in play or whatever, yet i realized that once that camera is on, and i'm in character, nothing really phases me...everything is real and fake. does that even make sense? probably not...it's just, i guess, that i'm not bothered...cuz it's supposed to be there, i'm supposed to have it pointed at me...it's weird how i can just transcend into my character and no longer be affected by anything...no pain, no weather, no fear, except the actual fear of being killed that my character is feeling...but then i wrap shooting for the nite, drive home, and i start to come back into reality...feel the pain and see the bruises that i didn't realize i was getting while shooting, feel the cold, the fear...slowly i come back into reality...yet i'm still unable to come down from the highs of shooting...no matter how tired i am, whether it's been 2 hours or 20, i can NOT fall asleep immediately...i usually have to do certain things: i HAVE to eat. i don't care if it's 3am, i'm eating. then i have to watch something totally mindless, like foodnetwork, or some romantic comedy that i've already seen 800 times. or else i do crosswords...now, i'm not talking the ny times sunday crosswords, i'm talking those tiny little easy crosswords, that are literally titled "EASY CROSSWORDS." i'm not doing it to gain brain cells, i'm doing it to come down from the shoot...anyways, i really do love shooting, especially with our own project. sure, there are a lot of stresses, a lot of downs, but there ARE ups...and they're all ours...they're immediate, and they're intimate...even, at gunpoint...
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Monday, Apr 28, 2008 6:33AM / Members only
so we've still been shooting, plugging away...small crew of us, four actually to be exact...perfect...the other nite we shot in a hotel room...transformed it into a lovely set...it's amazing what lighting can do to a comfort inn...the best part of shooting passion projects is the laughing, laughing, laughing...i'm not sure EVERYONE found it entertaining, but two out of four did...and as long as i'm one of the two laughing my ass off like some crazed hyena, it's all good, hehe.
it is freaking HOT in la. hello, what's summer going to be like? there are crazy wildfires just right over there, like a hop, skip, and a long jump from me...it's pretty scary, actually...i guess california isn't THE place to live anymore, what with all the fires everywhere...
hope everyone is healthy and happy and laughing as much as i am...take care!!
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Wednesday, Apr 23, 2008 10:54PM / Members only
so, i had another one of my quick trips over to hong kong...i went over for the awards ceremony, which i attended with my mom, marsh, and harry...was fun cuz, well, my mom is pretty much the coolest person on earth. i really don't dig those types of events tho, i prefer to hide thank you very much. ha. other than that, i did a photo shoot for my talented and lovely sweet friend gosia's fabulous jewelry line...it was the first time marsh and i took pics together, so that was an interesting experience cuz we were wondering if we took pics together would we finally see ANY resemblance? ha. negative. hehe. it's crazy how different we look...but marsh is so gorgeous i'm amazed i'm her sister...
looking at the photos, she is so identical to our mom, it's crazy...isn't that weird how genetics works? you know how you see a dad and his son walking around and they look like the spitting image of one another? you can pretty much predict what that boy will look like as an older version of himself! so marsh...you're pretty much gonna be crazy cool like mom! hehe. anyways, i also got to hang out with gosia at our favorite organic cafe where we drank a few too many lovely glasses of rose...but hey, it's organic, right? 
jeez, i love these little smiley faces...sorry to say, that's the extent of my blogging extras as i have no idea how to download anything...nor do i own a camera, which seems to really irk some people cuz i am unable to send them pictures, but i don't take pictures of myself, so what's to send? so anyways...ramble ramble ramble...see how bad i am at this blogging thing? i always end up NOT getting to hang out with everyone i want to during my short trips...so i'll have to see them next trip out...now i'm back in la...shooting a passion project, well, a pre-passion project sort of...it's always hard to sort of just get shit together to shoot, altho it's also easy cuz you just have to pick up and do it...no real planning, just...GO! it's fun tho, and isn't that what this is about? getting to do what i love, my way, without the politics and crap...we'll keep it a secret til it's done, but i'm lucky to work with such artistic talent...it all looks so gorgeously shot, it's amazing what you can create with so little money...it's like "ONCE" which i mentioned before that i loved so much...i watched it again in hk, btw, and i cried all the way through...if you watched their oscars acceptance speech and heard how they kept saying keep loving art, creating art...it was such a wonderful feeling...that's what i think we're trying to do with our project...and what i always hope to get to do...lately, i've been lucky enough to come upon a few such wonderful artists and directors who i will hopefully be working with this year...i can't wait! it's always the best when you get to help create and develop your character, and work in an intimate, more personal, setting...(yes, read as no-budget indie, hehe) but i LOVE these types of passion projects...
so anyways, this has been another one of my what is she talking about blogs...if you know me, you'll know that this is pretty much how i am in person! ha. i'm miss fly off twelve tangents...
hope to be back to hk soon, but meanwhile, i will continue shooting with the team, continue developing with new teams, and keep laughing, laughing, laughing...cuz that's the best thing in life, right? take care!
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Tuesday, Feb 26, 2008 3:56AM / Members only
so, i must say i'm a sucker for the oscars...it's something i look forward to, the dresses, the movie stars, guessing who will win, all of it, i love it. i have some great oscar memories...one, the year i went to the oscars with my mom and crouching tiger...that was awesome. i sat in the 9th row, 2nd seat from the aisle, between my mom and ziyi. i bought this red dress from like ABS or something, definitely cost less than probably the socks some of the men were wearing...and i remember being pulled aside on the red carpet and asked who made my dress, and i turned with a straight face and said "kmart" and walked off. hehe. we were walking in behind sting and his wife, so cool, so cool...i kept thinking, one day, i'm going to come back for something i've done...and i will...
anyways, the other oscar memory for me was one year i was in hk making THREE, and i was staying at this hotel and my mom would stay there with me and hang with me whenever i was off. and i just happened to have that day off, so my mom and i watched the entire 5 hour show together playing gin at the same time...cracking jokes, laughing, it was so great, so great. one of my best memories with my mom...
this year, i sat on the couch at home, sick, not feeling good but knowing that the oscars would cheer me up...hehe, and it did...
tilda swinton, what a surprise, but she's SO amazing, i'm so happy for her...that performance was awesome too. you should watch her in a movie called "young adam." it's awesome. she's awesome. and marion cottilard, just wow...what a transformation...amazing...and daniel day lewis, yeah, shocker. ha. but i DID love george clooney in michael clayton. that was a great movie. watched it the other nite with bubs and we both thought it was awesome. javier, hello sexy spanish accent....i forgot all about that bowl cut. anyways, i LOVE the oscars. i know, i know, they're all hoopla and whatever else, but come on...so fun. and i thought jon stewart rocked as the host. so funny, smart, and classy that guy...all the flashback scenes they would show, they always give me goosebumps...the history of hollywood...all of those classic actors, films...lovely...
anyways, that was my oscar nite...and now i continue to recuperate from what seems like the flu that everyone and their dog has...but it's pretty outside!
OH! and i saw the lunar eclipse last week!! awesome...so gorgeous even if a bit hidden by the cloudy weather...still, stunning...
hope everyone is well and happy and healthy!!
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Wednesday, Jan 30, 2008 12:44AM / Members only
i feel like a cheater when it comes to new year's resolutions...cuz i always give myself til chinese new year to really make any big changes or push myself to do what i said i'd do in the new year...you know, get rid of this, start doing that, clean house, build house...but i feel like i just went through this process...and it's already been a year...or has it been more than that? what i always promise myself is that i won't be saying the same things, making the same resolutions this year, as i did last year, cuz that would mean i haven't moved, improved, grown...that i'm still in the same place...i don't like that feeling of being stuck, still...it's hard to remember the good things that have happened, the changes, improvements you've made...it's easier to dwell on what you didn't do, what didn't get accomplished...but if i really sit back and think through the past year, as much as i feel like it flew by, so much DID happen...each month, each day, brought something new, an experience that was going to affect me in some way...sometimes you think back to periods in your life that you thought you'd never ever get through, yet somehow you did and you're here...that happened to me just in thinking of this past year. i had ups, downs, way downs, and way ups...everyone does. that's life, right? it's that whole thing about what goes up, must come down? happy moods, sad moods...good days, bad days...i want to try to have more balanced, even days...peaceful days...like my mom always says, it's not good to be TOO happy and excited, or TOO down and depressed...stay even...that's been a fault of mine. i'm WAY up and then i can go WAY down. it's hard, sometimes as an actress you think you have to feel everything totally, fully, up or down...but beyond being an actress, i have to survive as a person, in this world, in my life...and a steadier, more emotionally even one, could possibly be the answer to survival of the fittest...for me, at least. well, i'm going to give it a shot. see how it goes...i'm sure i'll be up and down in the next few hours still over something like the beautiful day that's outside...then some nasty remark i hear, then back up with a happy meal with my grandma...guess you can't totally change overnite...but i can TRY...
also, heath ledger's death...so sad...i think of all these troubled stars, brilliant actors, who fight depression, and so much darkness haunting them, which maybe makes them as amazing as they are, but oh how i wish they were still here instead...for everyone who experiences the blues too often, or even sometimes, i hope you find something, that tiny thing, that can so simply and beautifully, lighten your mood, and make you love life again...
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