Announcement
- SERVANT OF GOD FIRST, ENTERTAINER SECOND~
Blog entries
-
Chastity
Friday, Mar 13, 2009 3:41AM / Standard Entry / Members only
( 繁 | 简 | 日 )
237 commentsMarch 11, 2008...I laid my head down and said to God..."Lord...I'm ready to start my walk with you...Father God...I've been doing things my way all my life. Even when you came and showed me Your love for me. Still....I went my own way. Did my own thing. Lord I tried to stay close to you, but couldn't. Temptations of the flesh, (the world) kept taking me farther and farther away from You. At the end of that tunnel, I realized I went after everything I wanted...and turned away from everything You wanted to give me...I got almost everything I wanted...but every time I got there, I wanted something else from the world....Everyone in the world looked at me and thought I had everything. Some looked at me and thought I'm a complete A**hole. Some look at me and adored me. Some wanted to be me...but Lord...when I look in the mirror...I don't know who "me" is...Am I that person I see on tv? The big screen? The music videos? Who am I? What am I? What is the point of all this!?!?FATHER GOD!!! NO MORE~!!!! I QUIT THIS WORLD!!! I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE! I WANT YOU!!! Your love is the only love that I have felt that is real...and all I had to do is say Lord...I want to know you more...please show me how....I want to be closer to you...please help me.....yes I said that before...yes I tried...but the devil's playground had too many rides that seemed more fun. But every ride I went on...there was a price......and the fee....my Soul.Every ride, (sex, alcohol, money, pride, etc etc) no matter how fun that ride was while I was on it...in the end, when I get off...I ended up with either a massive headache, body pain, bloody knuckles, friends in hospitals, women crying, panic attack, depression...the list goes on and on...but the worst part of it all...half the time I don't even remember any of it. And I would try to make myself feel better by saying man did I have fun. I have the hangover to proove it. What did I do that was so fun? Hmm...I don't remember.....Yea...sounds like I had fun....FLIP THIS! I'm done with this! I want You Lord, and YOU ONLY! I know it's not going to be easy...I know I can't do it all at once...I know everything is a process...but most importantly...timing is most important. YOUR TIMING IS MOST IMPORTANT. Teach me...teach me everyday...teach me through my prayers. As I pray to You Father to remove all my fears of what's going to happen to me, all my doubts of myself, all my worries of what people think...dismantle it and break it all off me! In Jesus Name! Teach me to Love as you do, to Serve as You do Jesus, humble me...humble me...humble me....make me whole again make me new. Make me as You so planned from the day you created the whole universe. Make me a better servant, a better student, a better soldier, a better warrior, a better vessel, but most importantly...a better LOVER for You!FOR LOVERS WILL ALWAYS OUT WORK WORKERS.Cover me with your blood, keep blessing me to be stronger, to fight off all the temptations of this world that is trying to make me stupid, numb my wits. Let me be a true SOLDIER OF LIGHT, Jesus your warrior, CHRIST'S BLOOD WARRIOR!!! Let me fight for You! MORE OF YOU LESS OF ME....ALL OF YOU, NONE OF ME, LORD..I am ready...I am ready today Lord...to start my walk with you. Amen."Phew....I dunno where all that came from....hahaha...Ok..ok......maybe I didn't say all this at once...but God knew even though it didn't come out of my mouth. My heart. My heart, was ready to take that first step with Him. I had no idea what was going to happen...how my life would be.I had never done this before. But I said...FLIP IT~! Give it a shot...I mean give it a real shot this time Van Ness....don't sell yourself short.....and that was when I made my chastity vow to God for one year.Why chastity vow?
Well being in a boy band, living a rockstar life, females tend to be um.....everywhere......and that was one of the main thing that took me farther and farther away from God.Well...my year is up now......and life just gets better and better..."2008 Time to Dominate!"...and Dominate I did."2009 Time to Shine!"...can ya see me Blingin~So...What's next?a. Go find the first girl I see and then...b. Go find the first 2 girls I see and then...c. Continue my vow, and keep patiently walking with God and see where He leads me.Can you guess my answer?But I wonder...if that day comes, when I meet a girl, whom I love,and I walk hand in hand with in public.....would all my fans still support me? Or would it be as the company's, media, or reporters say?Do I hide something that God has intended for us as human beings to have so freely?I think I'll just be honest with myself, and let God do the rest.The enemy of Best, is good...some things may seem good...but God only wants the BEST for US!For the sake of Love, give everything...for no sacrifice is too great....all you need is Love."Don't let the world steal your feelings...Love, Faith, Live."
My blog More entries >
-
Just got back and it's back to back~
Monday, Feb 8, 2010 8:37PM (175 comments)
-
Interesting polls~
Tuesday, Feb 2, 2010 6:21PM (222 comments)
-
JAPAN MUSIC VIDEO “REASON”
Thursday, Jan 21, 2010 5:53PM (322 comments)
-
A Public Service Announcement
Thursday, Jan 21, 2010 5:36PM (127 comments)
-
From Power Ranger, BioHazard, Resident Evil, Devil May Cry…and now…AVATAR!!!
Friday, Jan 15, 2010 5:00PM (129 comments)
Entry comments (237)