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  • When your friends/fans disappear...

    Sunday, Nov 8, 2009 12:40PM / Standard Entry / Members only
    9 comments

    I am just wondering if people actually pay attention to the number of friends on their facebook or the number of fans/friends on AnD? Say if the number suddenly decreases by one or two, can they actually find out who is missing?

    I mean, if you only have a handful people on your list, it is perhaps very easy to figure out who is missing, but if you are talking about 100+ people, I really doubt you can find out who that is.

    And a follow-up question would be, why is this person missing? Yeah i know sometimes it is just the glitch of the program, and usually they'd reappear sometimes later, but for some, it seems apparent that they are simply gone. why?

    Perhaps these online fan/friends numbers are purely some virtual digits and losing one or two probably won't mean a big deal to a lot of people, thinking about that, what is more horrible is probably that in real life, some people around you just seem to suddenly disappear from your life, leaving no trace at all. There is no way you can find them, and what is worse, it is someone who used to be very close to you and all of a sudden, you don't even know why he/she chooses to disappear from you...






Entry comments (9)

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  • eehoonkhoo
    Official artist Ee Hoon Khoo
    posted on Thursday, Nov 19, 2009 7:18AM [Report]
    For me, It was what Etchy said, cut down on the feed so that its easier to read the important ones.  Sometimes someone's work caught my interest so I "bookmark" them, then I realised that they never really update thier blog so I "unmark"them. There are people I;ve never marked at all because I visit them on a daily basis. I have friends (real friends I know in real life) in AnD that I didn't add as friends, it was not necessary because we are already friends in real live. For me it was never important for people to know who I know to judge what I am or who I am.

    Friendship is indeed a lifelong thing.

    I have also disappeared from people's life suddenly, but the issue may not be them, the issue may be just ME. I may be feeling inadequate, not fitted to be their friends, or I may be depressive and would not like to be reminded of someone because of the connection... there are too many possibilities.

    I have many really good friends in real life and that is a blessing.

    I once asked a chap how come he has so many friends, he said, I just go around adding people.

    I have a request in my profile for people to not add themselves to be my fans unneccessarily. Some of them add themselves to publicise themselves only. Its networking.... social networking with a commercial aim. I usually do not entertain these people and will remove them from the friends request.

    It is sad there isn't a delete button for deleting fans, I would have deleted many cybersquatters on my fan's list.
  • Etchy
     Etchy
    posted on Tuesday, Nov 17, 2009 10:04PM [Report]
    just say no to friend collectors!

    some people cut down on their feeds once in a while,  they don't necessarily do it based on interesting content... so don't take it personally if it happens! ;-)
  • peachey
    peachey
    posted on Tuesday, Nov 10, 2009 4:35AM [Report]
    I wouldn't notice if anybody left. Sometimes I go and clean out my list (very short indeed but that's ok). I'm no collector.
  • rottendoubt
     rottendoubt
    posted on Monday, Nov 9, 2009 6:37PM [Report]
    hmm, ya, i dunno!  maybe if you blog too much??
  • kenjilui
    Official artist Kenji Lui
    posted on Monday, Nov 9, 2009 1:49PM
    Jaine: yeah I don't even keep track of those numbers.. but sometimes I just wonder why some friends disappear, maybe I am old-school people, I always think friendship is a lifelong matter...

    Daniel: yeah and i actually saw a fb group teaching people how to boost their friend requests..i think it's kinda pointless, i mean, what is the point of adding thousands of people on your list? i think the original purpose of fb or other similar websites are for friends to connect, making it a friend adding contest is just lame and stupid... :)
  • MissScarlett
    MissScarlett
    posted on Monday, Nov 9, 2009 10:32AM [Report]
    Here at AnD is the only place I have a "large" number of fans/friends. Everywhere else, I'm kinda particular about who I give the label "friend."

    I can only think of one friendship that fell away. My heart hurt and I could feel an empty spot. I think that's becuz that friendship was important to me. How many "friends" do we have who are really little more than acquaintances? And, becuz there's no acquaintance button or acquaintance requesting anywhere so friend is the only option. Some acquaintances have their season. You get to know each other and realize there isn't a friend "click" there. No loss on either side of you were to never speak again, but still a friendly hello of paths cross again. I think back to that above mentioned friendship that fell away. I know it was...IS  a real friendship becuz of the effort I made to seek him out and repair what'd been broken.

    Kenji, did you loose someone?
  • mariejost
    Official artist Marie Jost
    posted on Monday, Nov 9, 2009 5:15AM [Report]
    People come and go from our lives constantly.  In the past, pre-FB or AnD, we just weren't as aware of it.  I know that sometimes people disappear from FB because they deactivate their account for awhile.  I have a friend who is a musician and, when he goes on tour, he deactivates his FB account and he disappears for a while.  But then, after a few weeks, he's back and reappears in my friend list once again.

    Some people un-friend you because they decide for reasons unknown that they don't want such close contact with you anymore, not even to see your updates or posts.  About all you can do is respect their decision and then move on without them.  Just don't un-friend your sig other and change your FB status from "married" or "in a relationship" to "single" and leave it to them find out the next time they visit your profile.:-)  I have heard of this happening, especially with younger users.
  • danielchan
    Official artist Daniel Chan
    posted on Sunday, Nov 8, 2009 9:00PM [Report]
    most of them with facebook accounts get to the point where they feel like their friends list is no longer a good representation of people that they actually know, so they start a new account, I had a few friends who did that... honestly, no one really has 2300 friends....
  • Jaine
    Jaine
    posted on Sunday, Nov 8, 2009 2:46PM [Report]
    I generally don't notice untilt they fan or friend request me again.  I find people think about leaving or purging their friend and then have second doubts.

    Unless it is someone I have established a closeness with I generally don't worry about it.  One never knows what battles people are facing.

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