The platypus has a few quirks. One of them is listening to people
being ironic, or saying things which they don't realize. It makes the
platypus cringe and sort of shrink into a tiny dot, specter, before a
giant catastrophe takes place.
The Q-tip: I totally hate people who cannot pronounce properly!
The Q-tip: I mean they should really learn how to pronounce. The
pronounciation of a word is so important! chortles I simply cannot
date people with bad pronounciation.
The platypus laughs.
The Q-tip: Why you laughing like that?
Platypus: Honey, because I feel the same as you do. Bad pronunciation
can make the skin crawl. You "pronounce" a word and the "pronunciation"
of that word can make a lot of difference.
The Q-tip: Wait. Why did you keep saying "pronunciation"? It's "pronounciation"!
Platypus: ............................. I'll eat 10 durians if it's pronounciation...I kid you not. It's "--- NUN-ciation"
The platypus found herself shrinking into a pool of internal bleeding
as the Q-tip continued smugly showing resentment for people who cannot
say "salmon" but "sell-mon".
Platypus: Do you use "an" or "a" when it comes to "a,e,i,o,u"?
The Q-tip: "An" of course! I'm not stupid!
Platypus: "A" university or "an" university? "A" unicorn or "an" unicorn? "A" or "an" united body, utility bill and user?
The Q-tip: ............................
Platypus quips: Oops. Didn't mean it.
PS: no animals were hurt in this little spat. the Q-tip remains an an annoyingly lovable girl pal of the platypus.
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