Lydia Kuan - my official artist profile -alivenotdead.com

A song for carpets.

My brother told me when I was younger not to "get angry,but get even" when people agitate u. But that was when we were really really young and he had not(I suspect) meant this saying to be a central focus in my life. It isn't and cannot be because I've been taught since young that u have to forgive people like nuts because "Jesus would do it too" according to mum,aunt and all the religious people in our family. I think I grew up with the mentality that I am never supposed to be angry,have no right to get angry because it would mean "sinning" or rebelling.

U know how that feels?

It means tolerating everything and even carrying false untruths on your shoulders "because the truth will set u free" according to mum when people do find out later. But here is how I see it. Sometimes the truth will never come to be,simply because overtime noone cares. The only one that cares is the person or accused. In this case,I feel sorry for the accused. It's retarded, in my point of view. I know I will definitely protect my kids and teach them how to stand up to bullies. Cause their mother was never very good at it and often had to be so bloody nice and smiley until she is wondering what is up with that!!!!!!

It's a very complicated feeling.

I am even feeling guilty for being in-tolerant,in the face of trivial mean-ness.Now,if I had done something to deserve it, maybe I would feel better. But why even borther with a stupid remark that was so uncalled for and unworthy right?

Because I let it go the first 2 times already. This person struck again.

That's why I ....AM.....ANGRY.

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Friend: Just do your album and it's sweet revenge

Me: Doesn't work that way. I work on something,I create something not for the sake of silly gossip mongers.

Friend: Why don't u confront?

Me: Whatever for?

Friend: Duh,it's making u angry and I've seen this scenario happening for like 100s of times. Is it so important to be so "nice"? U're like this persian carpet,really classy and expensive that people walk all over u,plus cats always pee on persian carpets.

Me: I don't like persian carpets,they have a history of using child labour.

Friend: Don't sidetrack idiot.

Me: I am not!

Friend: sighs I go scold him for u.

Me: U? laughs

Friend: What is so wrong with that?Everyone gets slammed girl,but some people just don't borther. I understand that this isn't the first time the person has insulted your intellect so, scolding him is justifiable. Even the nicest people gets slammed. But the point is,if is borthering u,then do something to protect and defend yourself.

Me: I feel better already.

Friend: U persian carpet. U just have no balls. U just don't like to antagonize. I don't buy your peace lovin world piece shi* sometimes. But then I'm not as big hearted as u. If he antagonizes u again,I'll go set fire to his house.

I gasped.

Friend: I'm kidding of course. But seriously,noone will care about him. See,we care about YOU!

Me: Sigh. I guess I'm not such a big person, I feel tired of being a carpet.

Friend: I'll protect u.

Me: So lesbian.

Friend: U're a fag hag. Call your army.

Me: HAHAHAHA. NEVER. The world will be in pieces. And,how do u know if he isn't gay?

Friend: Hmm,I'm sure he isn't from Taiwan.

Me: He isn't. But why ask that.

Friend: Because he would not survive in TW with a mouth like that. He would be crucified long ago.

Me: This is such wisdom,your words. Hahahahhaa

15 年多前 0 赞s 6 评论s 0 shares

燕莉

I get angry alot. Funny how we try to control our anger because it is such a bad thing. We say to ourselves and others "i'm not so temperamental now". And people think it's a good thing. Sure. But you're right, people always expect you to hold it in, let it go, and brush it aside when sometimes all that is need is to let it out. Accumulation of anger does not work at all. It is just a recipe for a more massive explosion if it happens again, and in your case, again and again and who's to know how many more? But also, i guess confrontation could be done in the non-anger state so that we don't say things we will regret. However, (trust me on this, i've done it many time), some people don't learn or some people don't care. Meaning, even if you try to be mature about it and talk calmly confronting the person, they will still be childish and react otherwise... and then they keep doing what they do. These people... i gave up on them! What's my point? Getting angry is ok. We are human. We have emotions and feelings. We are given the right to express our anger in the right way. Jesus did not say "do not get angry". He only said "In your anger, do not sin."

15 年多 ago

Marie Jost

People get angry for many different reasons. Some are most definitely worth getting angry about, things like war, poverty, injustice (not a personal slight, though). But, typically, these are things that are happening to other people, big things like violence, death, corruption. Getting angry over those things can give us the energy to break the entropy and get out there and try to do something to change the situation that is causing the injustice. But then there is personal anger, anger over things that have been directed specifically at you. Some of them are worth getting angry about, too. For example, you find your boyfriend is messing around with someone else. That is most definitely worth getting angry over and telling the jerk how angry and upset you are. But then there are the smaller things that burn us: the cutting remark from a family member or co-worker, the idiot who cuts ahead of you at the grocery store in the "fast checkout lane--12 items or less" lane with 4 kids and an entire week's groceries in their cart, the "friend" who tells you you ought to go on a diet and lose 25 lbs. I think you get the drift. Some of it is directed directly at you. The trick is figuring out what it all means. That mom with the 4 kids and the groaning grocery cart probably just needs to get home to cook dinner for all of those kids. You, too, are in a hurry, but if you can reframe the event (or even if she is just an inconsiderate jerk) it probably won't bother you so much: yeah, you're not so happy about what happened, but is it worth saying something about it? Will it really matter to that mom, will it really change anything? Probably not. I think as we get older, at least this has been my experience, we also get a thicker skin. We take things less personally. It's not like I tried to be this way, it just sort of happened in my 40s. Things that used to really get my goat and that felt really, really personal just lost their sting and I could shrug and say (silently, to myself) "jerk" and be done with it. Most of the time (not always, I'm not some saint) I can just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes and get that the problem here isn't with me, it's with the other person. This is a long answer, and I probably haven't said anything you didn't already know, but sometimes it is good to tease the topic of anger apart. It is a pretty big catch-all word for a lot of different situations. Even Jesus got angry: remember how he drove the money-changers out of the Temple? He also spoke some pretty pithy truths to more than a few people, like that woman who came to see Jesus and he said she shouldn't be taking the food out of her children's mouths, that the dogs around the table were better fed than her own children. Do you think he said that with a kind smile?

15 年多 ago

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语言: English,Cantonese,German,Hokkien,Mandarin
位置（城市，国家）以英文标示: Taiwan
性别: Male
加入的时间: October 26, 2007