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  • ROMANCE TROUBLE on Feb 1st...

    Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 2:59AM / Standard Entry / Members only
    13 comments

    Valentine's day/week/month can be a scary time for many.  

    For the newly-dating (aka newly-touching), the month of February can create great unease.  Would a bouquet of flowers, box of chocolates, or a clothed backrub be too much?  Perhaps too little?  The sweet spot is always very difficult to find.  And once you find that sweet spot, how much do you push it...a little or a lot?
    And for those who are veteran dating (aka still touching but not as passionately), how can one show their love for the other consistent to the actions of the past but not set the bar so high as to make future actions of love impossible to maintain let alone exceed?
    And what about those who are currently not dating (aka touching self regularly)?  Do you just hang out with other non-dating friends to either find solace in numbers or perhaps utilize modern witchcraft in order to partake in friends with privileges without risking future platonic hang out sessions of pizza, beer, and rock band?
    The combinations are dizzying.
    Personally, I have always been a cynic when it came to Hallmark holidays.  By staying true to my rational nature of not succumbing to Valentines day/week/month, I have experienced countless face slaps, throat punches, and emotional heart-knifings from my opposite.  On the flip side, by my doing the opposing and partaking in this annual February passion holiday, I found myself experiencing a strange self-loathing guilt that could only be dulled through the drink.  So is the irony of life, loin, & labito.
    I, for one, am no expert in maintaining consistent peace of heart.  Far, far from it.  At best, my abilities to successfully predict and execute how to best honor my lover in the month of February can most appropriately be liken to my ability to herd cats...sucky.  It is like having one's heart-happiness locked away in a combination safe with the code changing every time one desires to gain access and entry.  It is, at best, a metapherein task.  Sometimes just giving yourself a swift kick in the nuts (or a flick of the mammary for the feminine) may be a better option...pain will be certain but without the abuse of hope.
    Ahhhhh love.  What is it?  And once you have it, how do you maintain it?  it's like trying to grown an orchid from your bellybutton.  Possible?  Yes.  Natural?  No.  It is not my intention to probe deep into the wild kingdom and cite countless examples of how love doesn't really exist.  That animals come together to come together in order to propagate, grow, and survive.  But I won't probe deep as I have yet to ever see a Hallmark store in the outback, jungle, or high elevation temperate forest.  Animals just don't maintain courtship with flowers, chocolates, precious metals/stones, or greeting cards.  They just throw acorns at each other and then proceed to mount in various forms and positions.
    In summary, I have no answer to how to consistently hurdler the Valentine holiday with success and grace.  For those who know how, you are a bad ass mf of love.  Please bottle it and share it with the masses.  Until then, I will continue stumbling through life, predictably beefing it annually in February in a predictably unpredictable manner.  At least my intent is of big heart.  I will continue to try and try I will...

    World Premier - FEB 1st - Warner Bros Presents "THE TROUBLE WITH ROMANCE" on PayPerView & OnDemand

Entry comments (13)

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  • spelmandiva
    posted on Friday, Feb 20, 2009 10:26AM [Report]
    Lordy.  Let me tell you - if your girlfriend wanted roses before, she might be done wanting 'em now. :-p   Romance is easy, its love that's hard.  Yes V-day can be construed as a commercialized trumped up concoction filled with cheap chocolate, sappy cards, and soon to be dying flowers.  But, a little work today might get you that throwing acorns, humping action tomorrow.  So embrace the holiday for its intent and not what its been turned into for profit.  Besides, if you're a really good boy, she might not wait til tomorrow to give you that humping action.  hehehehehe
  • estevenson
    Official artist 
    posted on Thursday, Feb 19, 2009 11:20AM [Report]
    Rog, I did ask my hubby to honor V-Day this year, but NOT because I expected something over the top and great....just a LITTLE memento of our love. And I reciprocated! I got him a book on zombies! Ha Ha! He got me some chocolate, an awesome card, and the sweetest (cheap) vintage tin sign. So,  nothing crazy. I like Peachey's suggestions too.
  • lydiakuan
    Official artist 
    posted on Thursday, Feb 12, 2009 6:57AM [Report]
    Actually V day makes it too easy.364 days of crime but 1 day of slick, and you get away with it. What a good deal for you! heh.
  • enigma306
    posted on Tuesday, Feb 3, 2009 8:52AM [Report]
    The movie is really good.  It's funny.  You're character was an idiot, but he was sweet.  I dunno why but the 6ers reference made sense to me.  Guess it was the Phila girl in me.  What?  You know I'm mental.
  • MissScarlett
    posted on Tuesday, Feb 3, 2009 1:54AM [Report]
    "Animals just don't maintain courtship with..." Dung beetle males give girls a ball of poo. ::shrug::   I'm with Jaine. Got a special someone? Doesn't have to be expensive, just be thoughtful.

    Yeah, I'd probably fall into the veteran category too. My husband set the bar pretty high for himself when he gave me my engagement ring for our first V-Day... =D Since then, though, it's usually dinner out and something small and thoughtful (there's that word again) he's made himself. "Thoughtful" goes hand-in-hand with "time." Take the time to be thoughtful. Mrs. Dung Beetle is thrilled with her ball of poo. Mr. Dung Beetle rolled it himself, just for her... ;)
  • justicevancho
    Official artist 
    posted on Monday, Feb 2, 2009 4:20AM [Report]
    A horse sounds good haha.

    Forgot to mention before but the movie looks good.  Good luck with it debutting tonight.
  • fanman
    Official artist 
    posted on Monday, Feb 2, 2009 3:09AM
    you should write a book peachey.  i will employ your technique with confidence and zeal...  :)
  • peachey
    posted on Monday, Feb 2, 2009 1:47AM [Report]
    Could you change that to 'libido.' Labito doesn't work for me. ;P

    Okay, Rog. This is what you do: alternate V days with flowers/dinner, non-flower gift/dinner, excursion/meal; repeat. Don't make the day too big of a deal or you'll have to best yourself every year. Also works to keep expectations lower. heheh.

    I guess I'd fit into your veteran category, however, I don't expect a thing on V day. We're beyond that.
  • rottendoubt
     
    posted on Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 5:19PM [Report]
    hope the movie kicks butt!!!
  • enigma306
    posted on Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 12:30PM [Report]
    "Personally, I have always been a cynic when it came to Hallmark holidays."

    ditto.  Honestly, I have never gone out on Valentines Day if you don't count school/work.  I hate being told by the outside that I have to replace my pupils with hearts.  I think a display of affection during a time when "someone" tells you you should is fake, especially if you've never done it before.  I'd rather get a gifty on one of the other days of the year just because instead of just because it's Valentines Day.  I can understand a good sale, I have been known to buy myself goodies during this time, but feh not for me.

    Plus, I'm stubborn and slightly rebellious.  I don't like being told what to do and I don't like going with the flow.  I'm a friggin' salmon.
  • Jaine
    posted on Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 10:45AM [Report]
    oh for flip sake, why do some men get so churned up about this, flowers and breaky in bed, or a nice picnic somewhere together - it doesn't have to cost much, it's about being thoughtful and together time.   Of course we shouldn't need a commercial day to tell us when or how to express 'love' (the need to propagate or whatever) to our partners so I can understand your difficulty with the day.  Lmao about the horse - that's an original gift.

    The film looks good but we don't get payperview/ondemand here.  We do have sky (cable) but I don't have it.
  • fanman
    Official artist 
    posted on Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 3:12AM
    gifting diamonds and other sparkly earth objects tends to be effective.  that and/or a horse...
  • justicevancho
    Official artist 
    posted on Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 3:07AM [Report]
    Im not a very festive person...so this holiday tends to be my least favorite.  Between bad memories associated with it to a feeling of usefeullness of the day I usually end up boycotting it...when I'm sinhle thats all well and good.  With my last opposite it caused a lot of stress heh.

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