Life

From last blog:PSSS: 1 is dead. TT the largest of the 4. T________________________T Not Guai2's fault but my fault. No, Guai Guai didn't eat it. TT

I am so sad and so full of guilt now. Yet,... I just realised again.... how frail a life could be.One of my favourite subjects was biology. So, I was always in the lab during class break. I remembered seeing a 3 month old human fetus. It's about the size of this little thing.

It might be hard for any of you to see clearly but it has formed 4 small teeth, perfect fingers, etc. Just like the little baby I saw in the bottle. White in colour. I was 10 or 11... 7th grade.

2 hamsters died on my palm. Yai Yai and 1 of Guai Guai's baby (No, I didn't squeeze it either)its body already cool. Can't believe a while ago, it was still striving to find its mother's milk gate.New blog: 2 hamsters died under my care. Yai Yai and Guai Guai's biggest baby.  Both due to my negligence. Yes, I am here confessing my guilt. I feel terrible. Somehow, through each loss, I seemed to learn something more about life.

Guai Guai is such a great mother (so far). She knew that instant her baby was dead. I thought she was going to eat it.... yet, she just put it aside at the other corner for a while then, she brought it close to herself again and gave it warmth even for one last time on its first day on earth.

Note: After looking at the pictures of the new born (while all alive), I realised it died from severe brain injury, look at the bruise at the back of its head.

  Haven't decided how I should take care of its death. I feel I owe Guai Guai a life. The colour has changed so much despite it's been dead for less than 3 hours.Guai Guai hid it under the blanket.... So, I guess, it's time to separate it from them as she kept picking it up and putting it aside afterwards.

Life one second, dead the next. I often feel like that when I visit the market while looking at fishes. This is the FIRST TIME ever my pets actually reproduce. I am somehow glad but also ........ growing up in my own terms.

Update:

Just went to check on Guai Guai, thank God I lifted it up as I only found 2 babies. Where is the other one? She hid it UNDER the blanket again and it's still alive. GOSH! Guai Guai must have thought it was the dead baby. So, I put the dead baby beside her, and she hid it under the blanket while feeding the other 3. God... I almost took away another life.