I Need This Job

My professorship officially sinks Sunday. I will be unemployed for the first time in a long time.

But I am glad, for a lot of reasons.

Still, I need a new job. Ideally, something that suits me. Recently I saw a posting in the Artist Forum of Alivenotdead:

Journalist – TV Host CASTING

**Casting Call

Role: Journalist-TV Host**

**Descrīption:

• To host a new English-language documentary series for a regional TV channel

• Bears a strong point-of-view and a keen interest in social issues

• With preferably a background in journalism, writing and/or research

• Witty and relishes being put in extreme social environments

• Aged late 20s and above

• Prior TV experience not necessary**

**Kindly send copy of CV and photograph with a paragraph of the most unusual experience you’ve ever experienced

A strong point of view? Me? Laid-back, easygoing me?**

A background in journalism, research, and/or writing? You mean like teaching/doing all 3 at a university level for more than 10 years?

Witty? Me?

I’ve been called something that rhymes with witty…

Relishes extreme social environments? I enjoy environments where relish plays a part in the social setting.

Grape jelly and syrup, too (name that reference, win lunch).

Late 20s and above? I’m so above my late 20s that not only do I not remember my late 20s, I can’t even remember being above someone in her late 20s.

I’m so far above that I don’t even care any more.

My ‘above’ is in its late 20s.

I’m so far above my late 20s that I need oxygen.

Most unusual experience? Like Christmas dinner with an AV star?

I want this job.

So I made an audition reel with help from my friend Thomas Lo. He deserves (and has) my eternal gratitude and my firstborn.

The little ankle-biter is on his way here from Myanmar as we speak; he doesn’t eat much and I told him his new Daddy was John Woo. The kid won’t know the difference, Thomas. If he acts up, just threaten him with going back to his mother’s re-education camp.

If you want to see the audition reel, I uploaded it here: http://www.mediafire.com/?3035253n3nm7nmq

Think employed thoughts of me. I really want this job.

I’ve already got the Christmas Special written.

I just need to learn how to say ‘grape jelly’ in Japanese.