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Sean Tierney
演员, 编剧, 音乐家, 喜剧演员, 笔者
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Guitar Porn and GAS

In Puyallup, Washington, is a company called Warmoth. They build guitar bodies and necks. They also paint them, in lots of amazing finishes. They have a Showcase on their website, and it is full of what itinerant guitar junkies like me call Guitar Porn.

Which is because looking at these gorgeous bodies makes us resemble them, in that they are totally wood.

I currently own 7 Warmoth guitars (and 5 others). I will soon order 5 Warmoth necks, to put on non-Warmoth bodies.

Until I replace the bodies with Warmoth ones.

I really don't need any more guitars. I don't need any more guitar anything. I have enough spare parts to open a store, for God's sake.

But musicians often suffer from a rare and tragic disease called Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS). We keep buying stuff. Even when we don't need it. Especiallywhen we don't need it.

So let me show you some 'dirty pictures': Is it hot in here or is it just me?It's a Telecaster body.The wood is called Flame Maple, and I hope you see why.

This one doesn't have the control rout I generally prefer; this one is 'front routed' (the thing that looks like a hot dog holder). Here it is with the control cavity cover and a pickguard. No no no, take it off. Take it off!!!I can't imagine why anyone would want a pickguard on it and cover up that wood. I mean, a clear pickguard (they make those) would be okay...

Ooooh, let's look at it from the back...Oooh, those curves and contours...This body has a Contoured Heel; see on the back where the 4 screw holes make a rectangle? That area is slightly thinner than the rest of the body, and it makes it easier to play high up on the neck. The 6 holes in a line are where the strings pass through the body.

That finish is amazing, huh? It's called Tequila Sunburst. The back is Candy Tangerine. Warmoth does really spectacular finish work.

When I first saw this, it was US$399. For just the body.The neck, parts and everything else cost more.

I already own one telecaster. And at least 11 other guitars.

But this guitar kept getting marked down, and I would always make myself wait, because I didn't really need it and because I assumed someone else would grab it, especially when it went to US$249.

So when I looked at it this morning and it was US$229, there was no question in my mind: I had to buy it.

To have this body made new would be a lotmore. The unpainted body alone would be US$225, and the Contoured Heel is US$35 extra. The paint job would be US$220. For the front. I think there's a $50 charge for having two kinds of finish , in this case a sunburst and candy paint. This body would be at leastUS$480 to make new, and probably US$530.

Basically, I got the paint job for US$4. Four bucks!

I guess I got a pretty good deal.

Of course, I will need to buy a neck. It will look like this: Yeah, it's very 80s. So am I.I also need to buy the assorted spare parts, and they won't be cheap. Good guitars don't come cheap.

I just wanted to share a look inside the mind of the guitar junkie. Considering I am a poster child for ADHD, I am still amazed that I have loved guitars so much for so long.

If you think I'm just offering cheesy half-@ssed rationalizations for spending a lot of money on something I don't need, well, now you know how men feel when their wife brings home the 39th pair of shoes, raving about how much she saved on them, all of which and more went to buying the rest of the outfit shehad to buy to go with these new shoes that were such a bargain...

At least guitarists don't leave the club ten minutes after getting there because some guy has the same kind of guitar we do.

Editor's note: Some of you may notice that I am using larger fonts these days. It is not (so much) my failing eyesight as it is that I now use my TV as a monitor, and it's 6' away from the couch where I am typing.

15 年多 前 0 赞s  4 评论s  0 shares
Mariejost 26 dsc00460
I was with you until I reached the jab at women shoppers at the end. Every female I know has her own job and her own clothes fund. What she does with that money is her business. If she's living off a sugar daddy, I'm sure she has paid for the privilege of spending his money 10 times over. (Those kind of arrangements never made any sense to me, but then the acquisition of wealth for its own sake has never made much sense to me, either.) Anyway, I totally get the addiction to guitars. They are constructed out of wood and wood has an amazing quality that no other substance has. In the hands of an artist/designer/craftsman, wood can acquire a hypnotic attraction. I ought to know, I'm married to a wood guy--carpenter, designer, furniture maker. There is a name for it--wood lust. Guitar lust is just a different variety of the same basic malady. I guess its better than lusting after drugs or alcohol. In the end, not only is it healthier, but it is probably cheaper and a lot let destructive.
15 年多 ago

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April 1, 2008