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官方艺术家
Sean Tierney
演员, 编剧, 音乐家, 喜剧演员, 笔者
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Movie Review: Storm Warriors/風雲II

Last Thursday I found myself once again at Elements, home of the tush-tickling Grand Cinema, to watch Storm Warriors/風雲IIwith the Movie Night Clique (電影夜集團). We wanted the benefits of Shaw Sound, the system that vibrates your seat when loud things happen. That's not a euphemism.

Let me start this review by owning up to a simple yet pertinent fact: I don't like movies made from comic books. There are several reasons.

For me, the 'alternate universe' concept is just a huge adolescent cop-out. The Dark Knight was occasionally engaging, but only until the appearance of the latest Bat-Gadget, which would naturally malfunction at the most narratively useful points. Yeah, Batman's got a car that can transform itself into a motorcycle, but the f@#$ing thing gets flat tires or won't start at the damndest times.

 

How about you pretend I'm a flat tire and blow me ?

I think you get the idea. The ready availability of superpowers that are occasionally (conveniently) not-so-super just irks me as a cheap means of slipping out of narrative tight spots. It's a huge deus ex machina gimme that smacks of authorial laziness and cheap excuses.Yawn.

But the biggest problem I have with comic book movies is artistic. Comic books (graphic novels are things like Tropic of Cancer or Naked Lunch, fanboy) utilize static imagery. They are still images that must convey a sense of movement. Motion f@#$ing pictures, on the other hand, have moving imagery.

That's why they're called motion pictures.

Unless, alas, its a motion picture based on a comic book. Then we get a barrage of still or nearly still images that seek, I assume, to evoke the comic book. We get still imagery in a motion picture. Which is not always a bad thing. But I'm talking about still imagery trying to evoke a comic book. Not Michelangelo. An unmoving shot of a mountain is one thing. A frame full of an unmoving foot is another.

For me, the juxtaposition of the two media just doesn't work. They are mutually antagonistic.

Imagine a comic book having 500 pages because you have to use it as a flip book. Would be hard to read the dialogue, wouldn't it?

My problem with this stylistic approach is that it lacks absolutely all subtlety (as do I, but you're not paying $65 to watch me). They may as well have a woman in a bikini walk into frame holding a big placard reading PATHOS HERE. 

A more localized problematic phenomenon about movies is the annoyingly high-context habit of writing scripts nearly devoid of backstory or exposition; unless you already know the story the movie is based on, you are sh*t-out-of-luck.

Which, for Westerners, seems highly counter-intuitive. It is one reason local films often seem opaque to us; they rarely flesh out the story of the film in or during the film.

We want to be told a story, not just shown one.So with those qualifications, let me talk about Storm Warriors/風雲II.

I have never read the comic books that this film and its predecessor are based on.I was not familiar with the story. Not that there is much story on offer in Storm Warriors, even for those who have read the comic book.

Frankly, nothing much happens, and not just because so much screen time is given over to still or barely moving images. The bad guy and his son go look for one thing in one place. The good guys try to stop him, each by going to one place, then both going to one other place together. I think.

It's hard, because people keep popping up in the other place at the most narratively convenient times.

My synopsis makes the plot sound a lot more cohesive than the movie actually is. Because it's not. The film is a series of set pieces strung together by... switching between them.

Another related local movie annoyance is an unfortunately necessary reliance on protracted flashbacks of previous scenes.

I have been told by local filmmakers that the audience needs to be reminded of what happened a half hour ago, and I have had enough experiences with people I've just watched movies with being unable to recall anything about the movie to agree with him.

Storm Warriors recycles a lot of footage, though it does so in black and white.

Apparently, the bikini lady twisted her ankle and couldn't do the FLASHBACK walk-on.

As I said earlier, it was frustrating that these flashbacks would re-hash what we'd already seen, but God forbid a flashback took place outside the film and actually helped us understand just what the f@#$ was going on.

Then again, there were times when everyone understood what was going on. I could tell, because the audience was laughing.

The biggest laugh explains why I'm going to start calling Conroy "Sword Sword..."

There was actually a lot of humor in the film, though little of it seemed intentional.

Although the word 'China' appeared in the English subtitles, it was absent from the Chinese ones. Maybe because the story involved the supernatural and an Emperor and someone threatening to overthrow China, none of which is real in any way, shape or form and don't you forget it.

Speaking of placating the Big Red Market (and humor), there was the by-now-requisite appearance of the latest Mainland rising star (or producer f@#$toy, you make the call) Tang Yan.

Her only supernatural power seemed to be ventriloquism; her mouth moved in Mandarin but her voice spoke in Cantonese.

So magical! So obvious! 

Further proof of her superhuman nature? Whereas the average mortal has a forehead, she is different. She's got a fivehead. She dreams in widescreen: It's nice to see Athena Chu's stunt double getting work.Her character was previously played by Shu Qi, but the producers decided to change the casting so that I wouldn't be arrested on a  Pee Wee Herman beef.

Speaking of sex scandals, the un-vilified Twin was in this film as well. Her character appeared in the comic book between the periods covered in the two films.

Or so my friends told me after the movie. Prior to that, I had no f@#$ing clue who she was, where she came from, or why she and Ekin seemed so enamored of one another. I was dumb enough to think the movie might tell me about someonein it...

Not a great loss; 90% of Charlene Choi's dialogue was saying either of the two protagonists' name. "殘破的風!胃腸氣脹的雲!"Speaking of recurring characters, Nicolas Tse recycles his camp role from The Promise: "That one... with the big sword... bring him hither!"He plays the son of Simon Yam Tat Wah, the antagonist whose armor appears to be causing him no small amount of irritation and restriction: His constipation is written all over his face. Can Aaron help him?Ekin Cheng has previously noted he wanted to expand his acting and character horizons. I guess it takes a lot of makeup to cover stretch marks this big: I think Marilyn Manson gonna sue somebody...Aaron Kwok broods a lot in this film.

Which is good, because brooding is something you do while staying still, so it fits with the rest of the film.

He has a big sword, too, and that's not a euphemism: Errant C*ck, aka Flexcalibur. The sum total of this film is a lot of imagery that screams IMPORTANCEand PATHOS, but does so in a shrill, beseeching manner that fails to persuade the listener. 

I'll be the first to admit that this film wasn't made for me. I am not a local who has read the comic book. At the same time, this film is obviously intended to show outside of Hong Kong and China. As such, it ought to take that into account in terms of plot, exposition, etc.

It looks really great, and on that level alone I would actually recommend it to people,  but that's about all it has going for it. Go see it at the Grand, so you too can have Aaron and Ekin make your ass numb.

Ooooh, where do I sign up?

Believe it or not, I really feel bad giving this film such a poor endorsement. I wanted to like it. I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to walk away from this film without feeling that it had a Silver Spleen blog entry waiting for it.But it earned the dishonor.

I am neither happy nor proud to become somewhat predictable in my ragging on local films. As I said,Storm Warriors/風雲II isn't all bad. A lot of people may like it, especially people who enjoy visual artistry. Please don't let my opinion stop you from watching it.

14 年多 前 0 赞s  8 评论s  0 shares
Igprofilepic
"My synopsis makes the plot sound a lot more cohesive than the movie actually is". You are absolutely right!
14 年多 ago
Photo 58618
Yet another HK movie I really don't want to see... I agree with you on the flashback stuff. I don't understand how anyone would need a slow-motion b+w bit of something we just saw 20 minutes ago so they can figure out the reasons behind what's going on at that very moment. Given that so many things seem to pop out of nowhere and defy any human logic in Asian movies, that part really puzzle me. Even slow-mo desat flashbacks of anything in any movie tends to piss me off. It's a very 'weekly afternoon tv movie for dumb houswwives' thing. And yeah, the 'producer f**ktoy' part, amen to that, sir.
14 年多 ago
Mariejost 26 dsc00460
In two words I will tell you what's wrong with this film--Pang Brothers.
14 年多 ago
Photo 80575
I fucking hated this movie so much. I waited with bated breath for 10 years for this movie only to find out they ripped off 300. These guys should be banned from being allowed to make more movies!
14 年多 ago
Photo 58618
Pang Bros did this? Oh man, I'll never see it for sure, even their supposedly great work is unbearable to me, nice visual but brainless stories and twists.
14 年多 ago

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If we don't support the movies that deserve it, we get the movies that we deserve.

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语言
English,Cantonese
位置(城市,国家)以英文标示
Hong Kong
性别
Male
加入的时间
April 1, 2008