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官方艺术家
Sean Tierney
演员, 编剧, 音乐家, 喜剧演员, 笔者
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Donnie Yen Facts

If you're familiar with "Chuck Norris facts', then you know where I got these from. A littleFind andReplace , a little editing, and you get loads of hilarity, or so I hope.[if gte mso 9]> Normal/w:View 0/w:Zoom /w:Compatibility MicrosoftInternetExplorer4/w:BrowserLevel /w:WordDocument <![endif][if !mso]>

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Donnie Yen is responsible for China’s over-population. He hosted a Kung fu tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

Donnie Yen once worked as a weatherman for the Hong Kong evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of .

Donnie Yen was expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Donnie Yen does not swim. This is because when Donnie Yen enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Donnie Yen simply walks across the pool floor.

Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Donnie Yen. But usually they grow up just to be killedby Donnie Yen.

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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Donnie Yen out. It failed miserably.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Donnie Yen, because Donnie Yen killed that man.

 

Donnie Yen’s hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China. That is untrue. part of Donnie is an aphrodisiac .

Some people say that Donnie Yen is a myth. Those people are now dead.

Donnie Yen is not only a noun, but a verb.

Donnie Yen puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.

 

For undercover police work, Donnie Yen pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

Donnie Yen can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Donnie Yen makes onions cry.

When Donnie Yen falls in water, Donnie Yen doesn’t get wet. Water gets Donnie Yen.

In an emergency, Donnie Yen can be used as a flotation device.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Donnie Yen pajamas.

Superman once watched SPL. He then cried himself to sleep.

When the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Donnie Yen.

Donnie Yen uses a night light. Because the dark is afraid of Donnie Yen.

Donnie Yen never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Donnie Yen sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Donnie Yen does not sleep. He waits.

When Donnie Yen is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

Donnie Yen doesn’t wear a watch. decides what time it is.

 Donnie Yen grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Donnie Yen.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Donnie Yen.

No one is perfect. Except Donnie Yen.

There enough Donnie Yen to go around.

Donnie Yen is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

Once you go Donnie, you are physically unable to go back.

Donnie Yen does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move out.

Donnie Yen’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

For Donnie Yen, every street is one way. way.

The chief export of Donnie Yen is pain.

Donnie Yen can slam a revolving door.

They once made a Donnie Yen toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody.  

Donnie Yen uses 8’x10’ sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Donnie Yen doesn’t use antiperspirant. Donnie never sweats. Unless he wants to.

Donnie Yen’s sweat has burned holes in concrete.

‘Icy-Hot’ is too weak for Donnie Yen. After a workout, Donnie Yen rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot magma.

Donnie Yen uses hot sauce for eye drops.

Donnie Yen’s urine tests positive for steroids. What do you think they make steroids from?

For some men, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Donnie Yen, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Donnie Yens’ sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

 

Donnie Yen does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Donnie Yen.

Donnie Yen will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t foolish enough to attack him.

When Donnie Yen was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Neverslap Donnie Yen.

Donnie Yen can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Donnie Yen needs a monkey wrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

Donnie Yen can sneeze with his eyes open.Some people ask for a tissue when they sneeze. Donnie Yen asks for a body bag.

 

There are no eyes behind Donnie Yen’s sunglasses. There is only another fist.

Donnie Yen doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Donnie Yen throws !

When Arnold says “I’ll be back” in the first

movie, it is implied that is he going to ask Donnie Yen for help.

is not just a movie. It’s also what Donnie Yen calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Donnie Yen.

In the movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Donnie Yen is the stuntman for every character.

Donnie Yen has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Donnie Yen has never won an award for acting... because he’s not acting.

Love does not hurt. Donnie Yen does. Donnie Yen cannot love, he can only not kill.

 

Donnie Yen knows everything there is to know. Except for the definition of mercy.

Donnie Yen doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Google won’t search for “Donnie Yen” because it knows you don’t find Donnie Yen, he finds you.

If you Google search “Donnie Yen getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

There is no Controlbutton on Donnie Yen’s computer. Donnie Yen is always in control.

Donnie Yen was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Donnie Yen played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Donnie Yen does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.

Donnie Yen once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

If you spell Donnie Yen in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

A man once asked Donnie Yen if his real name is “Donald”. Donnie Yen did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

A man once claimed Donnie Yen kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said “I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds”, He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Donnie Yen Halloween costume he was wearing.

When Donnie Yen sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Donnie Yen has not had to pay taxes, ever.

We live in an expanding universe. It’s running away from Donnie Yen.

Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Donnie Yen is on.

Donnie Yen once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. When Donnie Yen goes to Vegas, he doesn’t have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.

Donnie Yen does not follow trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass.Nobodyfollows Donnie Yen.

14 年多 前 0 赞s  9 评论s  0 shares
Chungtsang 5b chungtsang
Hahaha, Genius.
14 年多 ago
45862083 0af2fd4d5d
not homo at all... :-P
14 年多 ago
Mariejost 26 dsc00460
I notice you never mentioned Donnie Yen and acting in the same sentence. Too bad he needs a body double any time acting is required. ;-)
14 年多 ago

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If we don't support the movies that deserve it, we get the movies that we deserve.

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语言
English,Cantonese
位置(城市,国家)以英文标示
Hong Kong
性别
Male
加入的时间
April 1, 2008