Tales of an impatient mule

I realise how impatient I am as a person when I was walking normally yesterday and wondered why my friends were so far behind me. They asked me politely and very sacarstically if I was perhaps on my way to my rebirth or if there was a winning lottery ticket about to expire in a few min. I also wondered lately why pple ard me seemed to not move quicker and are constantly waiting ard for nothing. That was when I realised that I had been sprinting,not walking and constantly feeling as if I had a million things left undone.

If that was not enough,I am the sort who will make tuna melts by standing impatiently in the kitchen where my microwave innocently sits and glare at it with a menace as 2 min slowly ticks by. Before I hear the "ting" my hands are halfway inside the microwave oven busy pulling out the tray. I also realised that I am never on the right side of the escalator rgdless of whether it be weekends and I'm out for a movie or weekdays when I'm late for an appointment. If U don't know this, in Tw,pple stand on the right customarily while the impatient pple speed by without fail on the left while using the escalator.I am also the sort of person who will call up the restaurant I regularly go to,and fluently order flawlessly off the menu before I actually get there with my friends. Of course when Im out for a nice fine dining meal, I would mentally check myself and force myself to quit dialling the familiar digits. And yes,I do operate on speed dials and know exactly how many apples I have left in the refrigerator before I get home in case I have to go out to get groceries again,which would be,yes,the understatement, a waste of my time.

I panic when my mother doesn't call me when she first reaches Tw a week ago and it was only an hr ago that the accused rung me and told me she had trouble finding a railway ticket from Tainan to Taipei.I think to myself,if she doesn't let me know when her exact arrival time is,I run a risk in not getting her a proper hotel room. So yes,a week ago,I had already done the bookings for her. And for pple who are as impatient as me,I tend to still have the conditioner in my hair running wet before I pour the shampoo over my head. And yes,u guessed it,Iam the sort of person who will use the blowdryer for almost everything such as my newly painted nails, or my er salad vegetables when they become slightly too moist from the fridge and when my microwave seems to take a million yrs to dry them. Exaggerated? Hell yeah. It does seem that long for the impatient pple out there, trust me.

I tend to wish I have wings most of the time,and that the lift did not have to stop at every level. I give the killer stare unwittingly when it stops at level 2 because for the life of me I cannot understand why a fit,able bodied young person with so much energy would not be able to WALK just one flight of stairs. Of course on an afterthought I think,he must be a war veteran at age 20 or a long distance runner for the olympics and he had just ran a race before deciding to take the lift at level 2.Mostly, I find my house in an artistic mess and will wonder why I can be so creative as to leave my dishes stacked to an eiffel tower like model before they become the once disintegrated twin towers. I then decide to buy paper plates and risk the wrath of my good friends who are mostly enviromentalists before I sorely succumb to seeing the familiar sight of the eiffel tower at home again. These days I stop stacking and I wash them as soon as I use them,because my mother is right. That way I finally realised what the bottom of my sink looks like,and it does seem refreshingly prettier that way.

I absolutely never join crazy queues for sales like MNG,mostly because I am one of the rare girls who do not buy Zara nor MNG,not because I am some Gucci-Cavalli hailing freak but really because the sizes seem to always fit two of me, and more importantly I do not want to be stampeded nor read an entire novel while watching the clock go by. However,u would be very surprised to unconver the startling facts of me that seme to juxtapose with everything I have had said so far.

I am a big fan of fine dinning and enjoy the experience of good food at a conservative pace.To me eating is a precious art that only the Europeans seem to understand perfectly well. I also love cooking lots of food for my friends and hold house parties, which involve alot of baking,steaming,stewing and par boiling. All these things would be fine but I also love marinating hours beforehand or leaving some things to be seasoned properly in the refrigerator the night before so as to create a more flavouful dish. I am also an arthouse fan and dig the likes of slow,really long films with an enthusiasm. I would completely glue my fixated eyes onto the screen and not budge for all 4 hrs if I had to, and mostly scowl when the chirpy tune on my cellphone starts pouring into my ears and whoever that chooses to press the wrong digits at that precise moment would meet his Maker sooner than he can say "botox"!Iam also the kind of person that would fly out of a car sooner than wait meaninglessly for the traffic to flow,mostly I imagine I am Icarus and I can make myself fly,that way it would be alot easier.I am also yr 10 sec shopper,because I always know in those few secs whether I will live to adore the item of purchase with longevity. I remember a guy friend looking so impressed when he saw me walk into a shop calmly and step out 10 min later with 3 bags full. Yes,u r right. I do not need to try them on,because I would know exactly how I will look in them. Usually when I go to return or change things, I procrastinate and think abt it with so much grudge that I never do so and instead, I find my friends gleefully waiting for my next wrong purchase before they can be sole benficiaries of yet another misfit.

I think I am such an impatient person,but at the same time I am puzzled at how contrasting I can be all the same. Until I finally consoled myself that I liked saving time and hurrying myself for the things I view as trivial, and minute for the other things I enjoy doing and wish to do,like writing abt my very impatient character ruefully like this on my Facebook or spending hours and hours at a store looking at sound systems or music instruments or CDs. I think to myself sometimes that I might actually be a guy in disguise but swallow my words even faster when I think of the years I would have seen gone by if I have had the wonderful privilege of serving for my nation,my country,my Singapore.