I don't care -

One innocent day,(unlike other days which were guilty unless proven), I woke up a changed person, to the tune of the I-don't-care melody.

Honestly, I don't care.

I don't care about the excuses for why work was not done, or your story, her story, my story, their stories about shoes. If I have to wear everyone elses' shoes, I'll have eternally new shoes of my own that give me blisters since they hardly get worn in. Why does it sound so good on paper but a tall task when I try to do it? 

Because I'm retarded says my good friend, who is indifferent to all things animate or inanimate. He is Vlad, the impaler. Or so, he thinks.

Because I place importance on things and people that affect me, sometimes they are well worth it, sometimes the gamble doesn't pay. And when that happens, disappointment is a jarring aphid that creeps into your soul and brain, sucking every bit of your cheer away.

On the plus side, it's a conscientious reminder that I'm but flesh and blood. Too human. If Vlad the Impaler could have drained his willing victims dry, sometimes I wish I wasn't quite so human. 

Sorry God.

For wishing to be like a vampire. 

This morning Vlad told me he fell ill. He sounded vulnerable, like a mouse caught in a cheese trap. I thought the skies opened and a stream of bright light fell on to me. This must be the apocalypse me thinks.

Vlad says, thanks for caring, after I called a couple of times to make sure he was still breathing and offered to help in any way. Wow, this was from a guy who tried to exorcise every inch of humanity in me which he said led to my being inefficient. Robot, he says. Boot now, reboot system. Stop caring, it's the caring that makes you weak. It impedes you from your real deal. 

"Thank you for understanding me my friend",

says he.

"I was just about to burrow in my hole and wither away. Thanks for all these."

He says, in that same mousy voice. But it reeked strangely human.

Wow, I made friends with the vampire and I even understood him at some point? :) Alright, so I care and I'm not going on death row for it.

If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you'll die a lot of times. ~Dean Smith