大强正專 -- The Story of Dai Keung

OK...so I have been MIA forever.

My first blog in a long time is about the cockroach living in my kitchen.

The Chinese slang for cockroach is 小强 ("Little Strong").  Over the last few nights, I have realized why this name is so appropriate -- cockroaches are amazingly resilient creatures.

To be different and b/c the roach in my kitchen is anything but small -- almost three inches tip-to-tip -- I am calling him 大强 or "DK".

DK and I were introduced to each other about four nights ago.  The meeting was somewhat unusual considering it is now mid-October and the humid weather that roaches love so much is but a thing of the past.  So to say the least, I was surprised when I first saw DK.

DK has been hanging out in the narrow crack between my washer/dryer unit and the wall.  The space makes it very hard for me to get weapons into.  That is why I have not had much success killing DK.

Night 1 DK and I did not start out on good terms.  I was not happy to see DK the first night, sprawled out against my wall like he owned the place.  I love my kitchen and take pride in keeping it nice and clean.

I tried shooting DK with a rubber band.  The first one missed and the second one nicked him but  despite a glancing blow, DK did not die and quickly ran back behind the washer/dryer.

Night 2 There is a reason why cockroaches are the most successful creatures evolution has ever known.  Since Night 1, DK had already learned not to crawl out so much from the crack to expose himself to my flip-flop.  I swear on my life that the thing knew exactly where to stand.  I walked in the kitchen but could not get off a clean shot with my flip-flop or my rubber bands.

Night 3 DK again hung out at the exact place on the wall where I could not smack him.  So instead, I changed tactics and decided to spray the sucker.  Since I do not have environmentally unfriendly DDT at home, I had to settle for Dettol Anti-Bacterial Spray.  I got close the first time but didn't get a solid hit.  My second spray was more substantial but DK still managed to scurry away unscathed.

Night 4 Last night, DK was bolder and actually crawled into my recycling bin to relish some of the leftover beans I had had on vegetarian Monday.  I rinse everything before putting it in the recycling bin but I guess roaches have a better developed sense of smell and taste than us humans.  Again, evolution-suited DK sensed my presence.  I came into the kitchen as slow as a tortoise with a flip-flop in one hand and the Dettol in the other.  But before I could get close enough, DK picked up my presence with his ever-moving antennae and he ran away before I could spray/wack him.  Fxxker is taunting me.  I swear.

Night 5 I'm sitting here waiting.  DK is on the wall but he is too far in to smack.  I've given up with the rubber bands b/c the chances of success are too low.  DK is slowly moving out from the crack at the rate of about one cm per hour.  Perhaps tonight is the night.  I'm testing my patience against a roach's!  How pathetic.

It's very disturbing to have a roach in the house.  I can't even sleep well at night b/c I always imagine DK will take revenge while I'm sleeping (like crawl on my face or something).

ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's driving me nuts.

OK.  Gotta go send DK to meet his maker.  Wish me luck.

Dez