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  • "Life is like a box of chocolates -- you never know what you're going to get."

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  • 大强正專 #3 -- The Story of Dai Keung #3 (It's PERSONAL now)

    Monday, Oct 26, 2009 12:39AM / Members only

    OK.  Enough's enough.  Now it's personal.

    A few more nights have gone by.  Same thing each night.  DK comes, DK hangs around, we stare each other down, DK leaves.  Dez goes to bed frustrated and fearful that DK will bring a hundred friends and swarm his head.

    Anyway, you guys have been GREAT and have made lots of good suggestions, including:

    1.  Glue trap -- I like this idea since DK can be preserved whole and I will have a trophy at the end of it, much liked a taxidermied animal head.  Unfortunately, I went to the local supermarket but it did not sell glue traps.

    2.  "Freeze" spray -- I don't like bug spray, which may contain harmful substances even if most of them no longer contain DDT.  I was told tonight that an aerosol dust cleaner turned upside down sprays out a jet of freezng liquid that can temporarily freeze large bugs in their tracks.  Alas, I don't have an aerosol dust cleaner at home b/c I just clean my computer with a vacuum cleaner.

    Since neither of the options above were available, I chose option #3:

    The Amazing Fly Gun or, as I like to call it, The Super Roach Killer 2000 ("TSRK 2000").


    I have included a remote control to give size perspective.


    I bought this neat little contraption in Singapore a few years ago  and dug it up out of the closet.  This weapon is like a little Texan lady's handgun -- you buy it for protection but the thing never sees any real action.  It's a simple device -- the trigger is spring-loaded and you shoot a rubber web that crushes harmful pests between the web and a hard surface.

    Well, I said TSRK 2000 hadn't seen action before...UNTIL TONIGHT.

    I came back to the house at 11:15pm and DK was right there in his usual spot.  He was further out in the open than usual for this time of night so without even washing my hands (which is always the first thing I do when coming home), I went straight to my gun locker.  I had been practicing the last few nights with TSRK 2000.  After all, I knew I would only get one shot per night so I needed to use my chances wisely.

    I lined up DK in my little rubber web-o-death and KA-POW!!!  I hit him nice and square and saw his limp body fall into the recycling bin.  Although I got him good, I knew DK is protected by a solid exoskeleton, which means I most likely only stunned him and did not kill him.

    I acted quickly.  I snapped on a rubber glove and proceeded to fish his body out of my graveyard of used bottles and containers so that I could either kill him properly or, better yet, capture him LIVE!  However, the moment I grasped one of his legs, my worst fear was confirmed -- DK had been stunned, had fainted, but he wasn't dead!!!

    Before I knew it, he twitched back to life (horror!) like MJ in Thriller and crawled deeper into my 19L recycling bin.  I picked up the closest empty bottle I could find and started to hammer the crap out of him.  Alas, DK was quick on his feet (literally) and scurried down where I couldn't reach him.  I knew I didn't have much time...

    I started moving other bottles and whacked and whacked and whacked but couldn't get a clean shot.  Next thing I knew, DK came out of the recycling bin and crawled back underneath the washer/dryer.

    OK.  I know what you guys are thinking at this point.  What's wrong with this guy?  Why is he such a wuzz?  It's just a bug.  WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

    The big deal is that American cockroaches fly like B2 bombers.  In flight, they look like mini-vampire bats.  I was traumatized one time while taking a shower when an American cockroach flew into my bathroom.  You can imagine how vulnerable I felt as I tried to get him out of the bathroom, wearing not so much as a pair of skivvies.

    Basically, I am afraid of these guys b/c if they go airborne, they can fly straight for my face and get lodged in my mouth or hair or something.  And roaches are, in a word, disgusting.

    Anyway, I got him.  But he got away.  ARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

    For the cynics out there, I have included two photos taken two nights ago -- DK is real.  DK is big.  DK has disgusting legs.

    Yes, cockroaches are the masters of evolutionary science.  But I guarantee you man will truimph at the end of this saga.

    Until next time, my friends...


    See why it's hard to get him?  He is off the edge of the washing machine by just inches and it's hard to even get 1/4 of my flip-flop near him.  To his bottom right, just beside the silver thing (my fridge) is the recycling bin.



    Click to enlarge this pic -- the details on his legs will make you want to puke.

  • 大强正專 #2 -- The Story of Dai Keung #2

    Wednesday, Oct 21, 2009 11:25AM / Members only

    Night 5 (Update)
    So last night, after I wrote my entry, I went against my own advice and tried the rubber band again.  When I was young, I was a very talented rubber band shooter but that was with the fat rubber bands.  I turned the house upside down but couldn't find a "fatty" but did manage to find some thin ones that are nice and elastic (for those of you who live in HK or other tropical climates, you'll know that rubber bands become brittle and useless very quickly so it's not always easy to find an "elastic" elastic).

    Anyway, I got within 18 inches of DK and BAM -- I thought I got him good but then I could hear him scurry away.  A search of the immediate area did not turn up a roach corpse, which means that DK is still out there -- probably hungrier and angrier than before.  Needless to say, I didn't sleep well again last night, with thoughts of roach revenge swirling around in my brain.

    It's possible I dealt DK a fatal blow and that he is slowly dying behind the washer/dryer.  That would be anti-climatic and disgusting to say the least.  It's impossible to get back there, which means he'll be there until the end of time...or until other roaches (please, I hope there are no more) eat him up.

    But more likely, I will see him again tonight.  I want to get him BAD so that I can take a photo for you guys...

    DEZ

  • 大强正專 -- The Story of Dai Keung

    Wednesday, Oct 21, 2009 1:06AM / Members only

    OK...so I have been MIA forever.

    My first blog in a long time is about the cockroach living in my kitchen.

    The Chinese slang for cockroach is 小强 ("Little Strong").  Over the last few nights, I have realized why this name is so appropriate -- cockroaches are amazingly resilient creatures.

    To be different and b/c the roach in my kitchen is anything but small -- almost three inches tip-to-tip -- I am calling him 大强 or "DK".

    DK and I were introduced to each other about four nights ago.  The meeting was somewhat unusual considering it is now mid-October and the humid weather that roaches love so much is but a thing of the past.  So to say the least, I was surprised when I first saw DK.

    DK has been hanging out in the narrow crack between my washer/dryer unit and the wall.  The space makes it very hard for me to get weapons into.  That is why I have not had much success killing DK.

    Night 1
    DK and I did not start out on good terms.  I was not happy to see DK the first night, sprawled out against my wall like he owned the place.  I love my kitchen and take pride in keeping it nice and clean.

    I tried shooting DK with a rubber band.  The first one missed and the second one nicked him but  despite a glancing blow, DK did not die and quickly ran back behind the washer/dryer.


    Night 2
    There is a reason why cockroaches are the most successful creatures evolution has ever known.  Since Night 1, DK had already learned not to crawl out so much from the crack to expose himself to my flip-flop.  I swear on my life that the thing knew exactly where to stand.  I walked in the kitchen but could not get off a clean shot with my flip-flop or my rubber bands.

    Night 3
    DK again hung out at the exact place on the wall where I could not smack him.  So instead, I changed tactics and decided to spray the sucker.  Since I do not have environmentally unfriendly DDT at home, I had to settle for Dettol Anti-Bacterial Spray.  I got close the first time but didn't get a solid hit.  My second spray was more substantial but DK still managed to scurry away unscathed.

    Night 4
    Last night, DK was bolder and actually crawled into my recycling bin to relish some of the leftover beans I had had on vegetarian Monday.  I rinse everything before putting it in the recycling bin but I guess roaches have a better developed sense of smell and taste than us humans.  Again, evolution-suited DK sensed my presence.  I came into the kitchen as slow as a tortoise with a flip-flop in one hand and the Dettol in the other.  But before I could get close enough, DK picked up my presence with his ever-moving antennae and he ran away before I could spray/wack him.  Fxxker is taunting me.  I swear.

    Night 5
    I'm sitting here waiting.  DK is on the wall but he is too far in to smack.  I've given up with the rubber bands b/c the chances of success are too low.  DK is slowly moving out from the crack at the rate of about one cm per hour.  Perhaps tonight is the night.  I'm testing my patience against a roach's!  How pathetic.

    ********************

    It's very disturbing to have a roach in the house.  I can't even sleep well at night b/c I always imagine DK will take revenge while I'm sleeping (like crawl on my face or something).

    ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's driving me nuts.

    OK.  Gotta go send DK to meet his maker.  Wish me luck.

    Dez








  • 星爺係我偶像

    Thursday, Sep 17, 2009 6:02PM / Members only

    二00九年九月十五日的太陽報跟我做了一個專訪。是真的 -- 我從小的時侯已經很想做周星馳。他為fanz帶來無限的快樂。

    如看不清楚,圖片裏的受訪者是高比拜仁、Jason Mraz、和楊紫瓊。

    I was featured in September 15, 2009's Sun Paper.  My last interview in Oriental Daily had me "pinned beneath" Fala Chen.  This time, I was stuck beside a gyrating Angelababy.  Life can be worse, I guess.  I digress...

    In the article, I give props to a favorite of many -- Stephen Chow.  I admire 星爺 (nickname Grandpa Sing) because his sh*t is so original and timeless.  Looks fade, trends change but good humor sticks around forever.  There are kids on the street these days who were not even born when the first Stephen Chow movie came out but who can recite his movie lines at the drop of a dime.








  • My Chance "Encounter" with Ms. Fala Chan

    Tuesday, Aug 11, 2009 3:13PM / Members only

    上週五,上了東方日報娛樂版。我討論了禮貌的重要性和創立我公司(www.njtrf.com)的原因和動力。

    在報紙文章裏,我卑美麗的陳法拉小姐「騎」着,令我十分高興因為我是她的fan-Z!  雖然沒有機會自我介紹,我昨晚在《Laughing Gor 之变節》首映禮也見到她。電影真不錯。黄秋生,吴镇宇

    下個 blog 再見!


    *****************************

    Hey Everyone:

    I've been the KING of no-blog.

    Anyway, here's a quick one -- more a photo than a blog.  I appeared in the Entertainment Section of last Friday's Oriental Daily.  The paper talked about my dream of seeing people be more polite to each other and my inspiration for starting a consulting company that does exactly that (www.njtrf.com).



    What I found most satisfying about the article was that I was "pinned beneath" the very beautiful Ms. Fala Chan, of whom I am a huge fan.  Although I didn't get a chance to introduce myself, I did brush shoulders with her at last night's premiere of "Turning Point".

    More blogs to come...including the much anticipated (and by now anti-climatic) end to the McDonald's Challenge.

    Best,

    Dez

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  • posted on Sunday, Nov 8, 2009 12:11PM  [Report]
    Hey, nice picture! It looks so cool. :)
    And how's DK? Is he still lingering around?
  • posted on Sunday, Nov 8, 2009 11:25AM  [Report]
    No new DK update?? ;)
  • Official artist 
    posted on Thursday, Nov 5, 2009 11:53PM  [Report]
    Thanks for letting me know! Hope it looks ok! :)
  • Official artist 
    posted on Wednesday, Oct 28, 2009 1:45PM  [Report]
    nice to meet u =)
  • posted on Tuesday, Oct 27, 2009 1:36AM  [Report]
    Why? They don't have vacuum cleaners in HK either? ;D
  •  
    posted on Wednesday, Oct 21, 2009 9:30PM  [Report]
    you are right! It can catch some viruses too. ;)
  •  
    posted on Monday, Oct 19, 2009 8:46PM  [Report]
    that segment on the hotdogs was slightly erotic...
  • Official artist 
    posted on Sunday, Sep 13, 2009 12:10AM  [Report]
    Yea, hahahaha. The leap was too funny. I frickin hurt my foot pretty bad after the celebration dinner without knowing. Lots of peeps thought I did that on purpose. hahahah. Yes, next time let me know if you wanna come. You know I'll hook you up with tixs and backstage. I only just knew on that night you were coming. Next round, we do eating contest in the back. hahahahah.
  •  
    posted on Friday, Sep 11, 2009 12:09PM  [Report]
    congrats on making it to the 2nd round in the Taiwan thing. how did it go?
  • Official artist 
    posted on Wednesday, Aug 26, 2009 11:49PM  [Report]
    Thanks ...:-)
  • Official artist 
    posted on Wednesday, Aug 26, 2009 10:22AM  [Report]
    Searching for you.
  • Official artist 
    posted on Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009 10:31PM  [Report]
    Thanks babe, i love it :) Hope all is well
  • Official artist 
    posted on Friday, Aug 14, 2009 1:18AM  [Report]
    I'm not sure when it's coming out but I'll definitely let you guys know!!
  • posted on Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 12:19AM  [Report]
    My pleasure
  • Official artist 
    posted on Wednesday, Aug 12, 2009 12:07AM  [Report]
    yeah it is, thanks Desmond. Good to see that you're keeping busy. Hope all is well with you and the wife.
  • posted on Monday, Jul 27, 2009 1:32PM  [Report]
    I have seen it and I loved it! Thats why i was so keen to see both of your reactions to the film. It really kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. =)
  • Official artist 
    posted on Tuesday, Jul 21, 2009 3:14AM  [Report]
    thank you! that's sweet :)
  • posted on Monday, Jul 20, 2009 11:28PM  [Report]
    Hey, it was nice to meet you at the script reading saturday! Hope Grace and yourself enjoyed taken. =)
  • Official artist 
    posted on Monday, Jul 20, 2009 1:28PM  [Report]
    Des, Thanks for your kind words. It is such a joy knowing you and working with you. Jeanne
  • Official artist 
    posted on Monday, Jul 20, 2009 8:55AM  [Report]
    Final is tentatively on 9 September
  • More comments >

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  • Desmond (蘇頌輝) is a host of TVB Pearl\'s lifestyle and luxury-living show Dolce Vita. He is also an English and Cantonese speaking events and show emcee....

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  • Occupation:  TV/Radio HostActorModel
  • Gender: Male
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