Blog: Monday, Jun 16

confusion confusion confusion!

i don't know why i'm living my life when i can't choose the way i want to be...

my head is full of anxious these days, it is a very very terrible feelings... it means that im doing something not right! im depressed. depressed with myself that i don't change a damn thing... becoz im scared... becoz im so used to be now or i just told myself so... im very scared...

sometimes i cried at home when no one's here... i feel like im not adapting to this world so well... what is our value... of a human being, of a man or a woman... money? sex? achievements? fame? alcohol? cigarettes? belongings n identification with a group of friends? f, i don't agree with any of them! should i be? i think so if i want to get along with people! but f, i just don't wanna be... that's my contradiction here! i think i should do something but i don't want to do it out of my personality... holy f shit! what is the balance? what is the balance in life? what is the right choice to make? what is controlling our minds nowadays? where is moral and what is the moral to fit in this world of cruelty? i guess it shows by the group of people you chose hanging out with...  so what the group of people im hanging out with? wtf... none... what a loner! it's not cool n it's not cool at all!!! coz we live in this world with ppl around. we r ppl person n we can't n shouldn't live alone... so is the conclusion here is to search for the right bunch of people? or we should search for our soul? so where's my soul? come back!!

well... what's going on here... confusion confusion confusion...

one thing! just one thing you got to do! don't stay yourself in hell!!

hell - a fiery place, all painful, inflicting guilt n suffering. don't live in a living hell!! set your soul free by doing the right thing!!