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• My Mom: The Movie

  Friday, Aug 22, 2008 2:18AM / Standard Entry / Members only
  9 comments

  INT.  HONG KONG AIRPORT -- NIGHT
  
  Simon anxiously walks up to meet his mom who is visiting from Atlanta, GA.  Simon is so happy that he gets to see his mommy.
  
                                             SIMON
                           Mom!  I've missed--
  
                                             MOM
                           You are late.
  
                                             SIMON
                           Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we said 7:15, how was--
  
                                             MOM
                           You gained weight.
  
                                             SIMON
                           Mom, c'mon, I'm trying to lose--
  
  With lighting quick actions, Simon's mom goes for the love handles.  Simon tries to defend with kung fu manuevers, but fails...
  
                                              MOM
                           See?  I am grabbing your fat!  Did you gain weight????
  
  Simon bows his head in defeat.
  
                                             SIMON
                        Yes....
  
  A single tear rolls down Simon's cheek.  Simon turns his head to avoid further humiliation.  Awkward silence as the two wait for the Airport Express.
  
                                                                                                            CUT TO:
  
  INT.  AIRPORT EXPRESS - NIGHT
  
  Simon and his mother sit side by side.
  
                                                MOM
                        So, what have you been doing for the past 2 months?
  
   Simon perks up.
  
                                                SIMON
                        Well, mom, I've joined this great site called alive not dead, and...
  
                                                MOM
                        Who is dead?
  
                                                SIMON
                        No, mom...it's a website.
  
                                                MOM
                        Oh, I see,  Internet....OK, so, what have you REALLY been doing?
  
                                                SIMON
                        Well, I've been shooting some stuff and --
  
                                                MOM
                        ALWAYS SHOOTING!  Why don't you learn Chinese?  Go get your MBA.
                        Work for BIG company.  Who wants to marry a...
  
  Simon's mom vomits in her mouth a little.
  
                                                MOM (con't)
                          ...an AC-tor????????????????
  
  Simon bows his head for the second time of the night.  Now one tear rolls down each cheek, as Simon  sits  in complete and utter shame.
  
  THE END.
  
  
  
  Isn't that the SADDEST thing you have ever read?  Well, let me just start off by saying that my mom is the greatest lady in the world and maybe, just MAYBE, I exaggerated a little bit in the above dialogue.  But there is also truth there.  Am I the only one?
  
  I mean, to those who are reading this and are "successful," or if you have banker friends out there who are filthy rich and powerful....do your parents still bitch at you?  Do they tell you to do something different?  I mean, I would love it....LOVE IT...if someone out there, is a BANKER and his or her mom is like,
  
  

  "Honey, all you do is make lots and lots of money and those sports cars and that huge beach condo you bought is just so boring!  and your charity work ...HA...so cliche!  why don't you become an artist and fulfill your life's destiny! ?  You know those pesky little things called your dreams?  GO FOR IT!"
  
  
  Anyway, this blog is kinda ridiculous, but I thought that I would share.  And yes,  my mom REALLY is in town from Atlanta.  I haven't seen her in a minute, and it is weird that HK is the place that we meet up.  Hong Kong is DOPE! 
  
  So, if any of you "starving" artists out there want a free meal...MAMA YIN is in the house!  HOLLA! 
  
  Here is a picture of the legend, the myth...my mom.