Movie Review: Lan Kwai Fong 3/喜愛夜蒲3

This is the third, and hopefully final installment in the Lan Kwai Fong series, movies about young, rich, (supposedly) pretty young people who have no responsibilities to themselves or, apparently, anyone else.

I’m not going to bother with a synopsis because, quite frankly, the movie doesn’t either.

It’s basically a string of party scenes interspersed with clumsy dialog.

And even clumsier sex scenes.

It’s pretty funny when you can watch people kissing onscreen and see that they’re really bad at it.

There were 4 or 5 brief moments in the film that I did sincerely find entertaining.

One of them opens the film; I looked up from starting my audio recorder to be greeted by a 12-foot high vision of this:

If I’d have known it looked like that, I might have tried to grab it too.

Another bright spot is a cameo by Chris Polanco, Hong Kong’s best percussionist and a very nice guy.

That’s Chris on the right.

The rest are just the occasional verbal or visual joke that I did honestly find very funny.

Look, these movies aren’t made for me. I’m not the intended audience.

But I feel bad for whoever they are made for.

They’re the cheapest excuse for celebrating shallowness, consumption, irresponsibility, selfishness and willful ignorance.

They’re awful movies that tell awful stories about awful people.

Within the first 5 minutes, I found myself hoping every one of these characters would die.

They’re so self-absorbed they deserve whatever happens to them.

Not that they ever take (or are made to take) responsibility.

But Jeana Ho’s ass is really something, innit?

I understand why an actress like Shiga Lin wouldn’t go topless.

I don’t like it, but I understand.

No one goes visibly topless in Lan Kwai Fong 3/喜愛夜蒲3 , but the women do wear some remarkably revealing outfits.

And I do mean remarkably.

There’s a lot to be said for being almost naked.

And this movie has a lot to talk about.

The problem is that when you can find women who are willing to bare themselves, either wholly or in part, they tend not to be so pretty from the neck up.

Jeana Ho is pretty.

I mean her face.

Unfortunately, not many of the other women in this movie are.

They suffer from what many Americans call Butter Face: Nice body, but her face.

I’m sure they’re lovely people.

The men in the movie are, I guess, handsome, and of course they can go topless without any consequences.

And even if a guy isn’t handsome, and simply has a lot of education, he can still get a girl. He gets the ugly one, but no one said life is fair.

So if you want to watch a bevy of young people drive luxury cars, wear designer clothes, drink expensive liquor and act as if they don’t have a care in the world, watch Lan Kwai Fong 3.

There’s almost no other reason to watch it.

Almost.

  I can’t believe I’ve hugged that woman.