“Lacerda wanted Total Coverage.”

That’s a line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, one of the great American novels of the 20th century.

It’s also not a typo that the W isn’t capitalized. Look it up.

Another line in that novel using the same phrase is “Free  lunch, final wisdom, total coverage… why not?”

But that’s not really important, except on a contextual level. Because often when I am doing something, I will fixate (who me…?) on a phrase, and it becomes a kind of mantra.

That happened to me recently, and it has relevance.

Ah, but first a little background…

In 2008 when I went to Tokyo, I spent a lotof time looking at guitars.

One of the guitars I looked at a lot was made by a company called Maxon. It was an odd shape and appeared to be covered in plastic. It was a little over US$500, had one pickup, and really cool half-dome knobs.

Here is a photo I used before to show the guitar in the shop:

Here is a better photo of the same model guitar:

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I am sure it sounded good and played nicely, but my hands are too big and I had very specific guitar buying goals when I went to Tokyo. Because if I didn’t, I would have bought 30 guitars.

Not that I would have minded, but I didn’t have room for them in my old flat.

I saw the guitar on my subsequent trip in April 2009, but by October of that year, my third trip, it had been sold. I am sure someone is happy with it.

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Moving closer to the present, I recently blogged about making up MDF (medium density fiberboard) body templates for guitar building. They allow me to see the body in a 1:1 ratio and check the design for utility, aesthetics, and ergonomics.

Kind of like a first date.

One of the designs is an updated version of a guitar I have made twice before. The first one was around 1991, and it currently resides (I assume) with the friend I sold it to. He dubbed it the Starfish, and I kind of like the name.

I made one from memory just a few years ago, and tried to follow an aesthetic theme that was as ambitious as it was wrong-headed. Still, on some craven level, I think I succeeded.

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The angled pickups were supposed to imply speed.

Which is inherently silly, since I didn’t do any speed when I built it.

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The fretboard had orange mirror hot rod flames and checkered fretboard markers.

The neck was much more interesting than it was well-made, and that’s my fault. The body was okay (considering what I spent on that paint job it ought to be), but in trying to change it around I eventually turned it into firewood. And just as well.

But I like the design, because it’s actually a very comfortable guitar to play. So I knew I would always try again.

When I was making templates recently, I modified this design a little so that the upper ‘horn’ or bout was closer to the body. That way it has a better chance of fitting in a normal guitar case.

But what fun are templates without being used???

The problem is that I’ve been going crazy trying to find a jointer in Hong Kong. Not the little hand-held jointers like this:

I already ownthat one.

No, I mean the floor model like this:

I even kn ow the Chinese for it: 长刨.

That’s different than a planer, which is  刨床 . ThatI can get. But without a jointer, the planer is nearly useless.

It figures that there are Chinese names for them, since many of them are made in China. But trying to buy only one has so far proven fruitless. It addles my brain to think of something being made literally next door and I just can’t figure out a way to get one.

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So there I was, with a pile of wood, (almost) all the tools, and a template that whispered temptations in my ear so persuasive that they smelled like whiskey.

The man who taught me woodworking said that the difference between a carpenter and a bum was that a carpenter could fix the problems he inevitably encountered.

So how can I make a guitar when I know that it won’t be level or smooth???

I figured that I’d work that out when it got to be a problem. I was tired of staring at all this Philippine Mahogany sitting on my workbench gathering dust.

So break out the clamps and the glue!!!

Since I had different lengths of wood, I used the template to find the pieces best suited for the task. No sense wasting wood.

Glued, clamped, and waiting for the saw. Wait ’til you see what happens to this piece of wood.

This story will be serialized, though in truth the whole thing happened in less than a week.

Still, no sense giving the farm away, so to speak.

So stay tuned!!!

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