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James Z. Feng

Posted about 5 years ago | 0 people like this | Shared 0 times | 3 comments

Tough Outing

Whenever one of my fighters (from "Fight Life" documentary) get in the ring for a fight, I get quite nervous and imagine what our reaction would be if they win/lose. I imagine the repercussions of the win/loss. Luckily, I've been quite fortunate as Jake, Lyle, Bryan, Nick, Gil have all won their fights in the past year. Being there live at the fights watching them only intensifies my own nerves. For the first time, I've experienced my first loss when Ryan Schultz lost tonight in Sengoku 10. Out of all my guys, Ryan really needed a win at this point in his career coming off 2 consecutive losses.

 I spent this past weekend in Portland with Ryan and his family chatting about their lives and shooting for my documentary. I was with Ryan all the way until he was dropped off by his wife to the airport. His son Killian cried in the car for about 15 minutes after Ryan had left us. There isn't a more humble and better human being than Ryan Schultz out of everybody I've met both inside and outside the ring. You can tell by the way his trainers/friends talk about him that this guy is something special. Working full time and training full time on top of being a family man totally devoted to his family. I'd be lying if I said there was someone I wanted more to win than Ryan Schultz. Ryan doesn't try to sell himself and which is why he doesn't have many sponsorships. For someone who was the former IFL champion, I was very surprised that he had no big sponsors especially since his fights are on TV(hdnet). This guy only cares about two things: his family, and fighting. After seeing him get knocked out tonight, I felt a shock. My mind froze and I couldn't believe what I just saw. This whole time we've focused on him winning. Some images suddenly flash before me... I see our time spent together this past weekend and how confident and optimistic he looked(still in a humble way). We talked about getting this win and fighting for the Sengoku belt. We had lunch, played with his son Killian, talked for hours about his future plans and the MMA game. This line Ryan always says just popped in my head just now: "The highest of highs, the lowest of lows", "This sport is about wins".  

 After my one year with MMA, I'll say this much about the sport: "MMA is a glorious sport when you win. But when you lose... no one sees any of that." You are suddenly forgotten as a fighter; no one wants to be around you. People treat losing like a disease in the fight game. What I find interesting is what happens to fighters after they lose. The problem with this sport is that each fight is such a big investment: 8-12 weeks of training camp, and then the fight, and usually about 3-4 months until your next fight. This isn't basketball or baseball where you take a loss and get to compete again in a day or two. You have 2-4 months to think about your loss AFTER your fight. For Ryan, he had to wait one year for this fight that just happened tonight. Imagine a whole year after a loss and not knowing when you'll get to fight again... Picture that... This was the main reason I started "Fight Life", I wanted to take away the glamor and strip all the hype and show the real life of fighters. I'll pray for Ryan tonight and hope he has a speedy recovery. I know he'll need his time for the next few months to rethink his fighting career being the competitive person that he is. I don't think anyone takes losses harder than a guy like Ryan. If this was recreational, it wouldn't be so bad, but these guys are doing this for a living. What we the audience see as pure entertainment is someone else's way of making a living and supporting his family. I'll admit I'm a little down right now thinking about Ryan and the repercussions of this fight... But all I can do now as a friend is take a step back and pray that he'll stand up again.

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James Shih says :
That was a big shock and knowing Ryan, and what a great human being he is, it hurt to see him lose. I wish him a fast recovery as well and all the love and support.
Posted about 5 years ago | 0   0
Rottendoubt a4 patrick
Patrick Lee says :
for a documentary ... either is good, don't you think?
Posted about 5 years ago | 0   0
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I have to say Benny, I hardly ever read anyone's blog from beginning till the end, unless is a friend of mine. But with you, your blog is more than a blog. Each one is like a short story with morals behind it. I'm in the fashion & modeling biz and you might think it's a far cry from a fighter's life, but ironically it's really quite similar. I wish someone can do a behind the scene documentary on life in the fashion & modeling world. Everything is about exterior. When you're hot, everyone kiss your arse, when you're not, you're quickly forgotten. And you always have to be in top shape, as looking good is the number one criteria to succeed in this biz. A model's life is very short. The agency gets the best of your youth, and when that starts to fade, out goes with the old and in comes the new. Thank God I chose to work behind the scene and not in front. But this is the kind of things I have witness everyday. Lots of models ends up with emotional problems, or eating disorder or some other unhealthy issues...all these sacrifices in the name of staying pretty & thin. That's it. Very, very few models actually makes modeling as a career and take it to the next level like Tyra Banks, Cindy Crawford, or Kate Moss. They probably represents 1% of the modeling industry. Most of them fades away without us even realizing it. But I do. I see it happen before my eyes. I see models cry and blame themselves for not being good enough. Their dreams get shattered and they're left confused and hopeless. I often try to comfort them and let them know being rejected is not the end of the world. If this is something they really want to do, then don't give up. You must adapt to the mentality that rejection is a huge part of modeling. If you knock on 100 doors and only one opened. Consider that you have succeeded. It's hard for these young girls, because they're discovered at a young age and they're lift out from their "normal" life into a completely surreal life. Beauty is subjective, therefore everyday when you go for auditions, someone will say you're not heavy enough, you're not thin enough, your hip is too wide, you have no hip, your profile is too flat, your nose is too big, your skin is too light, you're too tanned, you're not tall enough, you're not short, enough. What do you think these words do to these young girls? It completely destroys them. For those who made it, they must be prepared to be criticized and take only constructive criticism. They must have a good head on their shoulder. They must be more mature than their age. They must grow up quickly. They must know their true worth, no matter what other people say. It's a tough career to be in, but millions of little girls dream to be a model, especially now that I'm in China, the situation is even worse. A lot of the models are aka hostess, call girls, mistress, etc.....and the agency becomes their mama-sun. There is so much corruption going on here. I lost myself in this crazy world for awhile and took a break and went back to the States to reevaluate what the hell just happened? Being an ABC, you can imagine the culture shock first of all, and the intensity of it is even greater when you're in the fashion & modeling biz. Whew, that was a mouthful, but I felt compelled to tell you, coz I got this six sense that you'll get what I'm saying. That's all. I mean, that's enough. =P
Posted over 4 years ago | 0   0

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James Z. Feng

Actor, Director, Screenwriter


"Passion, Hardwork, Perseverance." Http:// Http:// ...Read more

Location San Francisco
Favorite Faves Performing... writing... expressing things I or people I know have gone through and filming it... it's beautiful. Life is beautiful, and it's my job to capture some of that beauty and pass it on to others.
English Name James Z. Feng
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