I was 11 and had just learned how to cycle. Da moment mom asked to buy groceries I seized the opportunity to hit da road. With both hands on handle, I leapt onto da saddle... WHAM!!!... Slam sat on me newly blossomed Testicles...

Mom screamed why da hell am I not out da gate yet. With my back facing her crouching on me bike and balls up my throat I couldn't make a sound. Only managed to slowly raise my trembling right hand signalling...

"I'm gonna need a minute here mom..."

PS: It was a brand new red BMX...