its friday night 

and i'm hoping in this liquid wasteland 

that i will find someone with wide open eyes ...

the moist looking type where it seems like they're either shining bright 

or trying to hold back tears 

geroge michael's song "the first time" does its slow pirouettes round the vinyl machine...

the slow hypnotic trance transports us back into an era long gone ....

it taunts us ....

captivates us ....

ohhhh ......

no .....

i'm not talking about my first lesbian experience ... haha .. you wish !

although i do love the light in this very tantalizing senusual photo ....haha.

i'm here to unravel...

 the very first time ..... andrew , wing and i first met ....

*dramatic drum roll *

*faints *

i cannot believe this vintage picture from my ancient scrapbook actually got to see the light of day ... haha

*etchy and pat hussled me into this .etchy promised not to steal this precious scrapbook of mine and never , let me repeat , NEVER to scare the living daylights of everyone with his blue steel death comes to me gazes *

so andrew and i met way back in singapore when he was here to do a movie ....i think ....actually, i have no idea how we met ! haha! but we did and miraculously by a stroke of good luck , met for the second time in hk to do my first  gatorade commercial in china . i was a trembling nervous little girl hoping that my partner in crime would be nice . and "uncle "andrew made it all comfortable ! thank you !

i think andrew can probably tell you more about the gruelling conditions for the shoot . it was minus five degrees and we had to pretend it was the sahara desert . i had to wear the tiniest piece of clothing that couldn't contain my sanity and heat . on top of that , i had water sprayed all over me , dripping like it were sweat ...*bbrrrrrrrrr coldddddd*....i think i lost a few fingers to frost bite that day along with the chattering of worn out teeth ...

the all  imperative massive chinese army coat and the cook show waiting bed ....

the thick bundled commanding green insulator , together with the firewood that crackled and simmered below the bed ,kept us all warm and toasty while waiting for our shots... almost felt like we were being cooked for dinner , with the fire burning into a frenzy below us, waiting to be served to these crazy villagers in chang chuen .... i just thank god it wasn't full fledged winter ....it could've been worse!

kudos to all actors who have to withstand the extreme elements to bring us good performances . you deserve to be lauded !

wow ... andrew .....

 it's been a  good decade since that day ...

haha ....

and to think we would meet again on alivenotdead  ((hugs))

next post -wing shya....

alive not dead !!!

so etchy and pat set foot on singapore soil with a mission to breathe life into the living dead...

one who has been dormant with a pulse that is barely audible ...

and perhaps they might have succeeded...in yanking me back ...(with massive force , abuse and childish threats no less...but really , it was the free amazing 'AND' cap that had me bought. thank you , thank you thank you.)

so here she is once more ,

laid bare before you ,

waiting to be ravished ...

let not this lambent flame burn out its wicker ...

so "mister hai" came to town and we were couped up in the studio recording his new song , fiendish night to day , day to night fussing over guitar , lyrics and tears . in memory it was ... a tribute , an honor , a story spun in verses , notes and music scores for his late grandpa dear.made me curl up to wonder if i felt his pain or my own ,echoed through buffered walls .. and the walls , the walls of those wet cheeks flustered with emotion . never one to cry easily, the cigar smoke of that closeted room veiled my fragile vulnerable self as i pictured vividly in my mind ,every scene his words made out to me, smouldering away like the hot crimson ash on his fiery lit cigar ,drawing at his own pace , deep hypnotic breaths and slowly , slowly wasting its glorious existance into pale withering ambers and finally ...into dust ... 

and all that remains ,is a hinted scent of his lingering existance ...

 i'm proud of you my friend for doing this song for your dearest grandpa and kudos to the funny team i got to meet along the way . capricorns , sagis , "teng teng teng" ,sure make merry ; )

sigh .

so i wrote this. a while back . for...

-

daddy

     the broken window that the wind seeps through,
the cold that shivers the bone.
the familiarity that cobwebs like an antique never sold ,
he grows old.
and the drift remains.
the distance that sloughed with time only grates at emotions not mine,
an anchored lock that drags the soul ,
the gravity pull that sags the bruised .
i sloth , just like him .
i expect , my perfectionistic similarity .
break the chains ,
wipe off the rust .
swipe the card,
pay off thy dues.
what can be reversed of time that paused to yield
no fucking fruits that served for wastage spilled
wait for me , don't just go
heal my pain , make me grow ....

       i'd miss you ...