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• Esse

  Friday, Feb 3, 2012 3:08PM / Standard Entry

  It should have been Kang.  Really, it should have.

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• a producer saved my life

  Saturday, Dec 17, 2011 3:30AM / Standard Entry

  I didn't mean to, but last night, while driving, I got on the phone with a producer friend of mine whom I have the utmost respect in the world for.  My friend is a very accomplished individual with a heart of gold.  With her crazy schedule, she always still finds time to give advice to those who ask and, trust me, I have found myself asking her for much advice in the past.

  
  

  This week, my friend wrote a very important letter to the Producer's Guild of America that has started to generate what I think is a healthy dialogue that has long needed to be discussed.  Check it out:  AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PGA.  While the PGA's response doesn't exactly rectify the situation, the acknowledgment, and lip-service to examine the situation at least is a start.

  
  

  Somehow, we started talking about the topic of producing in general and, basically, by the end of our conversation, she had talked me down from the proverbial ledge.  That is so KC - putting out letters to help American producers who do foreign language films and then talking to this still-aspiring producer back to sanity.

  
  

  I have had one of the most challenging experiences of my life this year - and yet, most rewarding.  I agreed to executive produce and act in a film this year that somehow turned into me becoming the lead producer.  For those who don't know, in film, an exec producer (EP) is someone who sits at a very high level on the project.  He/she finds funding for the project, maybe has some say on hiring/casting, providing basic foundational resources like locations or sponsors, and perhaps down the road helps with some festival and distribution stuff as well.  Usually, it's just the first thing - providing money.

  
  

  Without getting into specifics, somehow as the project went along, I found myself becoming the main producer.  By definition, a film's "producer" (not EP) is such:

  
  

  A film producer oversees and delivers a film project to all relevant parties while preserving the integrity, voice and vision of the film. They will also often take on some financial risk by using their own money, especially during the pre-production period, before a film is fully financed.  The producer is often actively involved throughout all major phases of the filmmaking process, from inception and development to completion and delivery of a film project.

  
  

  I've functioned in this capacity on some short films before, and I've long thought about doing this on features, but for the most part, with our small shingle 408 Films, I've served only as an EP helping to shepherd a project with financing and some festival and/or distribution strategy.  I guess I saw myself as a higher level kind of person who connected people and things, but stayed out of the way when it came to day to day stuff.

   

  Well, like it or not, here came my first feature where I would throw on the producer cap in addition to the EP cap.  Not what was intended on this particular piece, but WTH, right?  Life throws you lemons, you make wine from it.  Whatever the saying is.

  
  

  In discussing what had happened here with my friend on the phone, I found myself barfing out several thoughts and asking several questions - all of which she thoughtfully answered in ways that made me feel infinitely better about what I have been going through.  

  
  

  It's not just me who goes through these things!!!  It's always good to hear other's experience and perspective and to know that you're not alone.

  
  

  Everything she said rang so true in my mind...

  
  

  - Post-Production (where we are now) is the hardest part of a film.  You think physical production is, but it's a piece of cake in comparison.  It's physically the most taxing for sure, but during this period, you have everyone around you and there is a sense of camaraderie, as if you are going to war together.  We definitely had that.  In pre-production, there is the anticipation and everyone involved at that point is excited and chomping at the bit and really doing their share of the lifting.  In post, as the producer, you are left by yourself.  Often, it's just you and the filmmaker.  Everyone else has gone home and is onto their next thing and just waiting for the email one day to announce a screening.  It's up to you to pull everything together at this point.  It's an isolating experience, but it's here where the wheat is separated from the chaff as far as who is a good producer and who may not be.

  
  

  - Going into a film is like an arranged marriage.  You are often thrust into a position with a team of people you don't know.  You might be brought in by one source you do know, but there is a host of others you've never met and, like the poor woman whose parents just force her to marry the man so not of her dreams, you have no choice at that time but to roll with it, hoping for the best.  Sometimes, it works out great.  Other times, it doesn't.  My friend shared a story of a 60-year old accomplished producer who is still scarred from his most recent project after having worked with people he didn't know beforehand.  This sort of surprised me because I'd been thinking that the further along you get in your career as a producer/director/whatever, the more you know who you want to work with and the more you will surround yourself with old hands you trust with your life.  Why would Wong-Kar Wai always have Christopher Doyle as his cinematographer?  Why do certain producer-director tandems work together time and again?  You find people you mesh well with, and you stick with them.  Simple as that.  It's like any relationship in life.  Branching out with new folks is risky.  Sometimes you find gems and will want to always work with them again.  Sometimes you find people you will never want to work with ever again.  No one ever said all arranged marriages are bad, I guess, but I'll be damned if they are all good.

  
  

  - No matter what, as a producer, you have to keep your eye on the prize.  Keep your vision for the film and keep your passion to deliver it.  So long as you still believe in it, of course.  All the muck that happens along the way, it's part of the process.  All producers go through it, and all producers will have their moments of doubt or weakness.  It's perfectly normal.  It's what makes us human.  Keep your nose to the ground, make your deliverables, be responsible to your fiduciary duties, and put the best film you can out there.  You gotta have faith.  I'm sure Serge and Larry had their doubts about certain things as they built a little company called Google.

  
  

  It was a bit of a wake up call I happened into last night.  A check-point, if you will.  I truly appreciated the discussion.  And, as I mentioned earlier in this post, despite a set of challenges so high, this year has been rewarding in a very unsuspecting way:  don't tell my acting agents/managers, but I am so very eager to move forward with a producer's cap on in life that it almost hurts.  Literally.  I feel a yearning to continue to be a producer because I feel that I'm suited for it.  I want more projects and I want to keep learning.  Most importantly, I want to do it with like-minded people who share the same vision and passion as me.

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• Now what?

  Wednesday, Oct 26, 2011 12:49PM / Standard Entry

  This has been a pretty non-stop year.  Until now.  I'm in LA and I'm finally getting a chance to pause as no projects are actively shooting at the moment.  My docu-series picks up again this weekend, but the last couple of weeks have been relatively quiet.  It feels weird.  And I think I've come to realize that I don't do well with not being engaged on a project or working on something.  I just wrapped a feature film, but it's now in the hands of an editor so as much as I want to move it along to help it get finished and then introduced to the world, there is nothing I can do.  I must let it breathe.  (I need to learn how to edit.)  I think the fact that this year has been full of so many things has created a monster in me and now, every moment, I feel like I want to use my energy towards making something meaningful, in whatever capacity that may be.
  
  I'm actually really really itching to return to Asia at the moment.  LA is ... when nothing is happening, it's a stagnant place.  It lacks the energy that I feel when I'm in NYC, Shanghai, or Hong Kong.  I love the beaches, I love the weather, and when minds come together in LA to create art, it can be awesome, but when minds are miles apart, there is something so vapid and dry about this place.  The energy I feel in other places is literally pulsating beneath my feet.  I've been thinking long and hard about relocating to base myself here and it looks like it's going to happen, but I am so fearful right now of doing that and having it be a big mistake.  I have become such a city person that I feel like I need it to feel alive.  The constant connection I feel to a vibrant place that is 24 hours 'round the clock feels as if it were my heartbeat.  Alas, returning to LA has also always felt like it was in the cards as it's situated along the Pacific Rim which is what I think works best for me and not to mention it's not too far from my family up North who has always wanted me to come back West.  In fact, the day I left LA eons ago, I always said, like Arnold does, "I'll be back."
  
  Part of me thinks I'm just whining as once I get here and settle in, I'll feel better about it, but it is a fear nonetheless right now that to give up city living will suck the soul out of me.  Yes, I can always go back and nothing is forever, but man, I'm tired of traveling around all the time too.  I'd like to find a place called home.  As I move on in life, I'll continue to make mistakes, but I'd also like to feel like I'm making the right decisions, especially on things that are big.
  
  I'm going to try to keep a part-time life in NYC going, but we'll see how that works out.  The timing to do this just feels right right now - and yet it doesn't.  I'm a California boy at heart, but the world beckons. 
  
  Or does it...
  
  

  

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• On Hawaii Five-0

  Tuesday, Oct 25, 2011 8:20PM / Standard Entry

  On Hawaii Five-0:
  
  
  

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• Nightdreamblues & life...

  Friday, Oct 14, 2011 3:36PM / Standard Entry

  Asia, we're wrapped!  I kinda wish I had kept a daily production blog of our 16 day shoot, but it was just too grueling to do that.  Hopefully one day soon I'll sit down and try to rehash on a daily basis what went down from memory, a calendar, and callsheets.  I hope we are able to share this film one day across various regions, including that of Asia.  It's an Asian American story, but a universal one at the same time.  If you could do me the kind favor, please follow us on Facebook at our: Nightdreamblues page and on Twitter at: nightdreamblues.
  
  More to come...but I leave you with this image that we essentially had on a daily basis.  It truly was night, dream, and blues...
  
  

  
  
  

  Personally, I'm going through an interesting transitional phase as of late.  It seems I've barely been in NYC this year and that has continued.  NDB has had me in LA for the past month and I have also been lucky to continue to shoot episodes of Hawaii 5-0 whenever they call me up.  In fact, during production of NDB, I had to go out to Hawaii to do 2 episodes.  36 hours trips to the islands are brutal, but had to be done.
  
  I signed with an LA manager this week and I guess this means that I'll be in LA more than I've been since I lived here in, gasp, 1997-1998.  I've visited LA at least once a year since I've left so this place has always felt like home in a way, but the reality is starting to set in more that this could become my base now to jump from for work travels instead of NYC.  I refuse to leave NYC entirely (me being stubborn), but I'll have to see how the next period of my life plays out.  I still want to stay involved in Asia too.  How?  I want it all!  I desperately miss Asia right now - China, Hong Kong, Taiwan.  I've started to develop an itch to work in places like Vietnam, Thailand, and Singapore as well.  So much up in the air, but I can only take this journey one step at a time and even though much is uncertain, at the same time, career-wise, it oddly feels like things are starting to make sense and fall into place.  Good, but it's never time to get comfie and rest on any laurels.  Onwards and upwards, one day at time, I try to go.
  
  On a non-career note, I am really itching to go explore some other continents as well.  I feel awful as I had to cancel on some dear friends' wedding a few days before we were about to start lensing NDB due to a crisis.  They've gone back to Africa, so now I definitely have to go visit them there soon to make up for it.  And Europe has been heavy on the mind as of late as well.  I may just have to book a trip and go sometime soon.  It's been a busy year and though I've been traveling a lot, it's primarily been for work.  I kinda wanna just go somewhere, clear my head, and be.  I'm afraid I can't just now, but hopefully one day soon.  Taking all suggestions.
  

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