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Angela Liu 劉詩涵
模特儿
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被滾開水從頭淋到腳的記憶

那是初壹的時候。剛被強迫關進壹間很大的寄宿學校。對家裏特別有錢的同學都敬而遠之,不敢靠近,男生們嘻嘻鬧鬧,女生們壹片白眼和嘲諷,讓我更沒有安全感。我就像壹只鴕鳥,頭低到課本裏,從來不敢擡頭正眼看別人。下課了,永遠都是我走最後,洗澡,永遠都是我最後壹個洗,體育課,永遠都是我壹個人坐在壹邊草地上。我融入不了集體。也沒有人像童話故事裏小矮人壹樣願意和我做朋友。還記得,有壹個男生曾把他媽媽送給他的壹袋子蘋果給我吃,他媽媽是個廣告明星,長得很漂亮,他對我很好,從來不欺負我。但我永遠忘不了喜歡他的那些女生對我的想殺死我的冷眼和想要絆倒我的撞擊…他的朋友看到我也總不懷好意逗我,我每次都嚇得不知道往哪裏躲…我連唯壹可能跟我做朋友的人都不可以靠近。說起來,我那時候真的太懦弱了。現在的我,早已經不是那個脆弱得快要死掉的小女孩了。

有壹晚我去澡堂洗完澡,已經到了晚自習時間,寢室都沒有人了。擰關水龍頭的時候,我關錯了冷水,結果滾燙的開水從頭淋到腳,我赤身皮膚被燙開了花,當時我不記得我怎麽撿起二件濕衣服,壹瘸壹拐用最後壹口氣求救到很遠的另壹棟樓的壹樓保健室去,醫生脫下我的衣服看到我大腿的皮肉全綻開了花,很多膿水,血泡鼓得很大,很嚇人。我不記得當時我有沒有哭,我也不記得有多疼。我只知道不知道明天上體育課該怎麽辦,於是我又忍痛回寢室睡覺,直到第二天早晨我去晨練倒在操場上,班主任和生活老師脫下我的衣服褲子,才看到我全身血紅血紅跟癩蛤蟆全是泡的身體,我這才哭了,哭得特別大聲,我說我想回家,我好想爸爸媽媽……

後來,老師沒有經過多方教導處證明簽字,親自送我回家,我真的好感激我的班主任老師,她知道我是個自閉癥嚴重又孤僻的孩子,她用愛溫暖著我,激勵我,用微笑對我,從來不會白眼,不理我,大聲呵斥我。在我之後幾年,我壹直在其它貴族學校找沒人的地方寫信給她,眼睛裏全是淚,她就像媽媽壹樣給我回信,教我和大家說話,教我大聲笑。

妳壹定好奇,為什麽奇跡般大面積燙傷的我,會痊愈的壹點疤痕也沒有,我也不知道是什麽力量讓我完全復原。

當時每壹天爸媽都在公司忙,沒有人照顧我,那是個很熱的夏天,除了每天壹點衣服都不能穿,塗抹很多像黑芝麻糊的燙傷膏,我就是壹直躺在床上看天花板發呆,眼睛裏不停地淌著淚,我想這輩子我算醜到極點還要過界壹點的那種,人人見了覺得我可以去死了的那種人,但我不想死,我為什麼這麼倒黴,我有壹個毅力告訴我自己必須要痊愈,必須要讓所有曾經笑話我的,憎恨我的人全看到我比他們活得更好,盡管當時只是壹個夢想,卻支撐著我換藥,疼痛,結疤…

所以,不管是妳身體有殘疾的,比別人笨沒關系,心理自卑自閉的,只要妳相信妳可以看到明天的陽光,妳就壹定可以細胞重組,戰勝妳自己!怨天尤人沒有用,其實需要妳自己努力!

Water is out of memory from rain It is the first one. Just forced into one big boarding school. The money for house special classmates at a respectful distance, afraid to come near, boys and girls tee-hee surface one piece with sarcasm, let me supercilious look more insecure. I like the first one is only an ostrich, low in textbook, never dared to look up. Class is over, I never go finally, shower, I finally is always a wash, PE, always is one side I sit on the grass. I am in no collective. No one fairy tale is one kind dwarf to make friends with me. Remember, there is a boy had put his mother gave him one bag for me to eat apples, his mother's advertising star, is pretty, he is good to me, never humiliate me. But I can never forget those girls like him for me to kill my sober and want to hit the trip I... His friends saw I always make me up, every time I frighten not know where to hide. I only can do with my friend is one who can close. Anyway, I at that time really too spineless. Now, I have not the fragility of the little girl was dead. One night I have to shower bath, has arrived night time, the bedroom is no man. Twist the tap running, I closed the wrong cold, hot water from the shower naked feet, my skin is hot, when I open a flower not remember how I picked up two wet clothes, turn one by one lame last one breath for far away another one floor of the building, the doctor nurse to take off my clothes to see my thigh skin full open a flower, many NongShui, XiePao drum very big, very scary. I don't remember if I cry, I don't remember how painful. I only know a PE lesson do tomorrow, so I reluctantly back until the next day morning sleep bedroom, I go down in the playground, exercise class and teacher my clothes off pants to see my whole body blood is red with toad bubble body, I this just cry, cry to shout, I said I want to go home, I miss my mom and dad... Later, the teacher have a signature, proof of guidance place, send me home personally I really appreciate my teacher in charge teacher, she knew I was autism and solitary, the child seriously with her love warm my smile, I use to me, never frown, ignore me, loudly reprimand angrily to me. After several years, in me I straight in other nobles schools where no one wrote to her eyes is full of tears, as mother, she is one kind to my letter, teach me and everyone speak, teach me laugh loudly.

You certainly wonder why miraculous area, I will heal burns the retinal scar also have no, I also don't know is what makes me complete recovery. Then one day, parents are in every company, no one takes care of me, it was a very hot summer day, except one cannot wear clothes like black sesame seed, many of the anointing, I was scalded one straight to lie on the bed to watch the ceiling stunned, eyes with tears streaming ceaselessly, I think this is my life to the fullest ugly also one kind of world, everyone think I can go to dead, but I don't want to die, why do I pour mold, I have a perseverance tell myself I must heal, must let all laugh at me, I hate all see me to live better than them, though just a dream, but I support the bandage, pain, scarring.

So, whether you disabled, than others, psychological inferiority that stupid autistic, as long as you believe that you can see the sunshine tomorrow, you set over you, to cells themselves! No, actually, you need to complain. v:3.2

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语言
english, cantonese, japanese
位置(城市,国家)以英文标示
Beijing
性别
female
加入的时间
June 28, 2009