Official Artist
Elena Stevenson
100,871 views| 55  Posts

Unnamed Friend's KiwiFRUIT Disaster

Last night, Jeremy and I dropped off John at the in-laws' and went to a party at Unnamed Friend's house. He's a bona-fide privacy freak, so out of respect for his wishes, I won't publish his name here. He's a single guy, just turned 33, and recently bought a home in one of Cincinnati's historic neighborhoods.

Jeremy and I took a gander around while UF (a vegan) made some "cheese" dip. We were lusting after the beautiful wood door jambs and three floors plus full basement. (We're hoping to move to a larger home closer to the city in a few years). It's a true bachelor pad--no soap or towels in the downstairs bathroom. And that john had the oddest feature--a louvered linen closet door that opened onto the front porch's beveled glass windows! So, if you get another roll of toilet paper, you might just flash someone....

Anyway, the reason for this blog's title...we were discussing hallucinogens and UF said, "You know what really makes you trip? A rotten kiwi." I don't know what posessed him to eat a rotten kiwi, but it made him drive to the ER, only half coherent. He told the admissions clerk, "I think I have food poisoning." Her response: "What makes you think someone's trying to poison your food?" I would say "Only in Cincinnati," but I know it isn't true...

Not many people showed up for the party, but that was actually good. Sometimes intimate gatherings are the best ones.  Jeremy's sister, her fiancee, and a couple of hubby and UF's school friends. One, a guy from Lebanon with a quick wit, left briefly to help someone get a dishwasher out of a car. Go figure. This same guy brought UF a birthday gift--"Our Dumb World" from The Onion. Score! The geniuses at The Onion ragging on every state and every country.

Soon Jeremy's sister left, making me the only female. Insert reverse-harem joke here, even funnier since I'm six months pregnant. I started reading The Onion book to myself, and the conversation turned to people the boys went to school with. I would dip back in to the conversation at random intervals--"Who lives in Vegas now? Who won't return your emails?"

A fine time had by all...and special thanks to my NZ sister Jaine, for whose sake I specified KiwiFRUIT....

about 12 years ago 0 likes  6 comments  0 shares
Jrs 8c 1405439596528
ooooh, ooh! I know this guy!!!! haha Just kidding! Next time you must command your he-rem (get it!?!?!?) to shimmy about the room for your amusement!
about 12 years ago
Photo 35751
hehe - thanks - I was grinning from reading the title of your blog - one could say "you had me at kiwiFRUIT" ^_~ lol, I've never heard that poisoning line before Hmmm - I must get me one of those male harems ^^ glad you all had a good time
about 12 years ago
Photo 16256
Those new zealanders are very touchy about this kiwi and kiwi fruit thing. haha. I like intimate parties too. Makes it easier to have a conversation with when people aren't being as superficial as they are in bigger parties bc there are so many people to talk to.
about 12 years ago
Photo 23799
oh yikes! heehee... kiwi and kiwi fruit? hmmm. in english, i say "kiwi"... but in chinese, i say (in translation), "kiwi fruit"... i never realized that until now when you clarified... hmmm. how odd.
about 12 years ago
Photo 34078
Kiwis are my favorite fruit. I'll have to be real careful never to eat a rotten one unless I'm looking to trip :P That's some odd setup on the linen closet.
about 12 years ago
Photo 35751
aw, thanks - I just happen to be good at taking photos of myself that hide my weight and teeth =/ I pm'ed Jers on myspace about it. I sometimes have trouble leaving comments on here, I don't know what that is about. My caravan is currently parked in the drive, not in the scenic bay in that photo (mind you its only 30 minutes away). I have heard terms like trailer park and trailer trash. These are quite culturally american coz although we do have caravan parks, they are mainly for campers and may have a handful of residents, but they are not called trash. We do have the rocking a knocking joke but I can't remember what is in the place of trailer. hehe I hope you've had no more poop incidents
about 12 years ago


51% Marlene Dietrich. 49% Olive Oyl. http://bigworldsmall.wordpress.com

Learn More

Languages Spoken
Location (City, Country)
Member Since
August 8, 2007