I went to a friend's house with my toddler son tonight, and on the way home we stopped at CVS Drugstore to get allergy medicine for my husband. Now, in Ohio, pseudoephedrine is sold behind the pharmacy counter--though it's not prescrīption, they have to control distribution because of all the meth labs.
John had a train set to play with, and I waited behind a middle-aged couple. As they talked with the pharmacist, the gentleman let out a noisy fart. I mean, it sounded like the episode of South Park where the people had butts for heads. Or that scene from "Harold and Kumar" where the chicks are in the bathroom. It was that extreme. I looked around. No one else seemed to notice. Neither the man nor his wife did nothing to acknowledge the dirty deed. Now, the men in my family love farts, and the women love to scold them for it. I mean, if my dad had done this, my stepmom would have at least put an elbow in his ribs. After the gentleman "sounded," the smell hit me. It was really hard to keep a straight face at this point. I wondered, "How far away can I stand and still look like I'm in line?" Worse, the guy made eye contact with me as he turned around to leave. It was just so crazy--the volume, the quality, and the fact that he just went about his business!
Where's my friend Doug Wong when I need him? When I related this story to Jeremy later on, we howled. I mean, we rolled on the floor. And Jeremy pointed out that if Doug were there, he'd have taken this man's dastardly act as a challenge to a "fart-off."
I leave you with a video message on farts. The CVS fart man was just about this loud.
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