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Repeat,
傷心大街強辯樂團

傷心的大街
我不再徘徊
寂寞和我们告别
所有的安慰
都獻給明天
一個人也可以醉

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Stalling for time.

Saturday, Nov 21, 2009 12:14AM / Members only

I really don't know how bad my life could take a turn into...
But, seriously, all this time, I just felt that it was just me.
I imposed all this threats to myself. Pushed myself over the damn edge.
I tried to get unpaid leave from my current company,
using the most absurd reasons. Got rejected.
So..I am just kinda stalling for time before I tender my resignation.
The joke is, for once in my life, IRAS decides I should pay tax.
In the bleak wintery period of my quarter life, I have to add in a tax payment.
CHEERS! >.<

Guess what.. my friend called me earlier...
complaining that I haven't been contacting her lately.
Hmm. I merely said I was busy, low profile..and, that I will notify if I gone missing.
But, she replied that its not possible because I AM TOO CHEERFUL.
WOW! that's another wonder. though my mom said the same to me this afternoon.
me = CHEERFUL?! that is new to me.
I hardly read any papers lately, because all they seems to report are
those suicides..people jumping / falling off high buildings to meet their death.
I mean, what the hell. that is the most extreme suicide methods to me.
You don't even get to die in a piece. SHUCKS. that is just brutal.

Well, I am definitely not suicidal. I can never get enough of life,
'cos I want to get EVEN with it. Lols. I want to conquer my life (sometime).

I can.
d.

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Whatever happens now...

Monday, Nov 16, 2009 7:28PM / Members only

Hmm. Time really just flew, my 4 days leave is finished.
I just find it very tiring. But, I do thanks my friends.
Those who make effort to take out their phone to text birthday messages.
People whom I never thought will do...and did.

actually, I hate celebrating my own birthday.
Its tedious to get people together~ lols.
But, I don't mind attend celebrating my friends' .

Like on the 14th, it was Jess's birthday. : D

I also enjoy simple dinner companion.
my own birthday itself, is spent with Yahui.
like every other year.
(not counting last year's...because I kinda forgot what I was doing then..)

In a nice, simple restaurant.
(companion is important when it comes to enjoying food.)

this card is right too..~

and..
my most dreaded...should be

that's all.
whatever happens now... what...
I spent today, catching up with the K.O 3guo episodes, and
of course the Autumn Concerto.

my mind is just too heavy with ...whatever.

d.

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11Nov. Nothing Seems...

Wednesday, Nov 11, 2009 1:52AM / Members only

Nothing seems to be right, yet I can't tell what is wrong with things too.
I am driving myself nuts, that is probably one of the reasons why,
why I am hiding at home after work these days.
To be the couch potato me..to watch TV endlessly.
not even bothering to fight for use of my laptop.
November is a freaking sick month. always the month that I get most dejected.
It just annoyingly brush past my frail heart that DAMN... its november yet again.
the month that makes me wants to hide, wants to run...wants to rest in forever peace.
There is nothing peaceful about me now. My mind is in a twirl.
I am turning my life upside down. By being that selfish and irritating fella I am.

Following my heart. This is when following one's heart..one's will is just a mistake.
Damn wrong. How can I always let myself run into such dry well.

I used to just stroll aimlessly down the road after work, to clear my mind...
that don't seems to work anymore. my mind, just shut off on its own.
No longer see, or feel what it is like to feel.
Maybe, I should just continue to waste my life away.
being the trash I am.
I don't see why I am doing this to myself. But, I just am.

I am suffocating. I am drowning.
sometimes I can feel that the stupid face of mine is laughing at people's joke.
but, inside me, I felt that I am the joke myself.
I laugh but I felt empty. I wonders, if people around me can feel it...
that I am just something hollow, not worth getting acquainted at all.

tell me how. how I can continue to live my life as a lie.
How to go on..
sigh..

My friend happens to be in town when I am going off work,
and he drove me to dover on his way back.
such a familiar ex-colleague, hmm.. senior back in school too...
But, sometimes..sometimes...I feel that familiar feeling
that strikes me when I communicate with people..the drag.
How to keep conversation going..when there is almost zero connection left..
Its like somehow, we allowed each other to be trapped in the same place,
for a period of time. in this period of time, regardless of duration...
We were forced to get along with each other. So that it will not be awkward.
is that how life is supposed to look like... sigh.
No no..don't get me wrong. I do enjoy companion of my friends..
just that ... I get deflated as fast as I can get inflated with momentary happiness.

LOLs.
I am such a sickening creature.

lalala..

d.

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站在原地。

Saturday, Oct 31, 2009 9:39PM / Members only

我很能夠明白原地踏步這句話的真諦。
因爲那形容我的生活也太貼切了吧 ~ 我討厭原地踏步的滋味。
是我不努力還是這樣還不夠？
其實該結束了吧。說真的，在這個糜爛的社會里，
要生存就是要忍耐，按捺然後若無其事的繼續。
有些事情早就沒有意義，不該是我能強求的也只好接受。

遷就身旁的人然後又怎麽樣 ~

It has become a meaningless struggle.
there is like a tonne weighing on my heart,
making it harder to breathe, sometime I wished, I am staying alone.
Left alone to live, and perish.
I don't like to be put under the scope, why should my doings be magnify?!
Who are the people around to judge me...
Nobody is qualified to judge me. Stop Stop Stop. ~

d.

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Happy Halloween.

Saturday, Oct 31, 2009 1:34AM / Members only

Halloween don't mean anything to me.

0135am, I am still sitting up in my living room.
But, don't think I will watch K.O 3guo.
d, should turn in and sleep earlier tonight.
But, first thing first. Let me blog.
(let me get today dosage of listening to Dean's music)
I have this feeling that I got acquainted with a split personality of myself.
Hmm.. Ya, I am probably like that person, over-doing in sharing informations.
SO, next time if I get carried away with yak-king away...STOP ME.
'cos, that's irritating. hahaaaa.

October is ending. I am still on my quest to look for a new job.
Not that I have been sending more resume, but those who started to revert to me.
I hope...some thing good can come out from them. : D

just that it will be quite hard to break the news to my current company.
Well. There is always an end to every union. Guess it is just sooner or later.
I didn't really make that much effort to make friends there,
but, I guess its in my mould. Too crazy.

Sigh..and I hope my good colleague remembers to help me get my Baileys.

miss d, gotta sleep...

d.

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moe1
posted on Thursday, Nov 5, 2009 12:38AM [Report]

good
Etchy
posted on Sunday, Nov 1, 2009 5:47PM [Report]

we are happy to substitute another shirt since you already have the Anniversary one. Which do you want instead?
konnchiwa
posted on Friday, Sep 11, 2009 6:01AM [Report]

hi:)that's all right,,
which is name place or other,,
name is Gökhan,,and ı have about my blog,,
u can look,,
see you,happy days,,thanks
NIC5YY20
posted on Saturday, Aug 29, 2009 3:36PM [Report]

support nic ,haha ``

take care !
Product
posted on Monday, Mar 30, 2009 8:46AM [Report]

hahaah ok .. i c that ..so a half dancer ..good luck hehehe.. :/Peace:!
Product
posted on Wednesday, Mar 25, 2009 5:58AM [Report]

Hi ...How r u? ..u would ask u ..are u bgirl dancer? ..u look like a bgirl dancer ...so em..!!
take care & have a great time here .. n_n
:Peace/:!