My blog

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• My Press Corner

  Monday, Jul 20, 2009 1:14AM / Press Release

  

  Hi all friends,
  
  This is the corner where I put my own singing, or if I appeared on any media. Enjoy.
  
  Do give me comments on any of my media.
  
  

  NOTE: All NEW updates about my blog, please check the entries below. Thanks.
  
  
  My own Singles - Tui Hou
  

  
  
  Music Playlist at MixPod.com

  
  

  My appearance in Singapore's Straits Times on 01/04/2009
  
  
  http://www.alivenotdead.com/wenwemx08/--profile-553658.html

  NOTE: All NEW updates about my blog, please check the entries below. Thanks.
  

  
  
  

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• The LORD gave me the sign that I need

  Monday, Jul 20, 2009 1:12AM / News

  After attending my church yesterday, the pastor came to a topic on humidity. I sort of woken up some how. All these while, I have been asking the LORD for a sign and yesterday in church, he have finally gave me the sign I have been waiting for so long.
  
  This blog entry will mark the day for me. The day when I will no longer escape from the reality that the world has been harsh on me.
  
  I have faced so many criticism that its about time everything changes. I have no rights to blame people who criticize me because I was at fault in the first place.
  
  This break for me is going to be a fruitful one and I have to remember that the day I return, I will not be the one that I was when I was isolated from the LORD and everyone.
  
  Courage may not be the first thing I have now, but I am going to reflect on myself. My behavior, character and leading style.
  
  To all my dear friends, to all those whom I have let down on you all, I am going to announce this with confidence.
  
  I am returning to volunteering work in 2010 / 2011.
  

  
  At that time, I will be a better man and I promised that when that day comes, we all will be a better person.
  
  
  

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• Bidding godbye from volunteering work

  Monday, Jul 13, 2009 2:28AM / Standard Entry

  Hi all, after some weeks of problems, my life have come to peace again.
  
  I would like to take this chance to thank all who have helped me when I needed them the most, most thankfully, was that Vic was there to help me most of the time. I am really grateful to all the help that was given to me to solve the problems with the contract for PROJECT V.
  
  Anyway, forget what I posted in my last blog post. I did have hatred at that moment when I was frustrated about what had happened, but now, after explanations from Vic, I am more of settled already and accepted the facts.
  
  Here, I would like to take this chance to bid goodbye to volunteering work. I thought I could have celebrated my 10th year in volunteering work on a high note, however, Lord does not seem wanting to celebrate my 10th year in that way.
  
  I have thought of it for a long time that I came to this decision, that to bid goodbye to my passion, volunteering work once and for all. I guessed some of them did realized that I never return to YMCA after the last Y Camp. Part of the reasons was that I have found a job, now on training at a waffle shop in Golden Mile Food Complex, as for the other reasons, I guessed I do not really want to mention it.
  
  Come to think back for the time before I bid goodbye to volunteering work, I actually did a lot of stuffs. I had not only gone for my 7th Y Camp which I felt really happy about, I had went for my 1st 30 Hour Famine Camp where I became a facilitator. I also appeared on the Straits Times for the 1st time ever since I did volunteering work for so long.
  
  Eventually all good times will come to an end, but I never thought it ended this early. I have thought of really to stay on even though I may have a chance to get into Y Camp Committee or to be train as a Camp Commander, but sad to realize that this is not really mine.
  
  I have thought of ending at my 10th Y Camp Challenge next year, but I began to realize that this dream is becoming too far distant. I guessed my time is really up already and my dream of doing the high elements for one last time may have to end.
  
  I always remembered how much time I have spent to plan just to make sure that the outings or activities will go out well. In the end, I would not failed the volunteers and the buddies who participated. Its really an achievement to see at the end of each outings or activities, the volunteers and buddies left with a smile.
  
  Over the last 10 years, I guessed I really made a lot of people hated me. Ha ha... Seriously, I do not blame anyone as it have to do with my own style of leadership. My way of working and making decision is based on intuition and feelings, so if I felt that the plan is to go that way, I would not hesitate to use any methods to achieve it.
  
  Looking at the above mentioned, I guessed there's two sides of the coin. One side is that this action is a good way of handling things because as a leader, I believe that you will have to be decisive. However, looking at the bad side of the coin, I believed many people does not like my way of deciding as it normally in which they felt that its wrong to go that way.
  
  Actually, to be frank, its just a difference in opinions, so that's why when two people could not agree on a certain point, arguments happen because they do have that belief that what they think could be right, so why not try my way?
  
  Coming to this, I am someone who believes that if the plan, outings or activities are not good, I will say it out. Sadly to say, I offended a lot of people because that I am too frank. For that,  I want to take this chance to apologize to all whom had felt offended by me.
  
  I seriously do not criticize people but the incident or the program, for that I want to assure to all. I know you all put in a lot of effort on planning, however, when a plan or program from a 3rd party's point of view is not good, that means its not good but not to the extend of bad, just that there's a lot of improvements that can be made.
  
  For me who do planning for programs, I always believed that the qualities of the programs needs to be the best, that's why sometimes I am very stubborn when people insists of me changing my plan. I felt that if I do not believed my own plan could work, then who else could have affirm you?
  
  Speaking of so much, actually, coming to lately, I am also doing something which is to help volunteer leaders to grow. For those who have worked with me lately will tend to realize that I often will posed questions for them to ponder about when they are helping me in the outings. Also, I would let them be more active in deciding what's right for the plan to work as in to be hands on to decide on the logistic needed, the plan made and so on. For me, its more of overseeing than be directly hands on lately.
  
  To say the truth, if people say that my leadership is bad now, I would like to affirm them that there's been some slight improvements already. I started becoming a volunteer leader in 2001 without any guidance and then, my leadership was way worst than what I am now.
  
  In my mind, I do have 3 leaders whom I felt that they are the best among all the leaders in YMCA. They are Alan, Wei Guang and Yiwei. No doubt, I have to admit, they are really the most 'zai' leader that YMCA ever have.
  
  Finally, I would like to give thanks to the below people / team whom I worked with over for the last 7 years as a leader...
  
  - 2001 to 2004: My school mates from Community Service Club. How can I forgot those times when we have arguments over so many stuffs? How at that time I aimed to help the club to become one of the best in school? How in one year, we all rushed out so many projects ongoing till the day I left? All these can never be done without all of your help, even at times when you all had to bear with me for all the unpleasant moments, you all were still there for me. Thanks a lot.
  
  - 2005 to 2006: My BODs from Interact Club. That year is really the year that is called the golden period of the club. Never in the club had managed to build on so many programmes to continue. Though not all are the best, but it still managed to go on. Long meetings with me were dreaded and tough, right? Disagreements were every where, but I am really touched that you all still stayed till the end. Though our last installation was not well done in the end, but the efforts put in were appreciated. Thanks.
  
  - 2008 to now: YMCA peeps from Y Reading Club @ SCAS. Those who have helped me with the September 2008, October 2008 and January 2009's APSN Outing. I am very grateful for all of your help and for giving me your best supports though you all are busy.
  Though PROJECT V (YFC) never really ended in the way I wanted, but I have to still give thanks for helping me till the day you left. Really appreciated.
  
  My time is here to end. However, I have really one wish that I could never make it happened and that is to help those volunteer leaders whom I felt that they are capable of planning and leading to plan for YMCA. Some of them are like Daniel Ouyang, Ze Ming, Sok Wai, Serene and many more. I do have a lot of leaders whom I may not have asked to help me in the plannings still in my phonebook, but in my mind, they are the best leaders that I truly have worked with before.
  
  Just that now, I do not have any more chance to chio them to plan with me in YMCA already.
  
  Finally, I have to thank Eileen and Vic. You both have always been guiding me, and seriously, if you both does not want to guide me, I may even have made more mistakes than I could. Deep in my heart, I really appreciate for what you both have done for me.
  
  There's a lot of people I wanted to thank, but to post their names in this blog entry may not seem that nice.  In any case, I would like to take this chance to say a big THANK YOU to all of you once again for all the help that you all have given to me.
  
  P.S. : For those who have saw this blog entry, if you ever came to Golden Mile Food Complex, do come to my waffle stall, as I'm currently on training there. I will bake waffle for you and if I do have the money, I will treat you. 
  
  
  

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• Lost faith to everything around me

  Thursday, Jul 2, 2009 9:08PM / Standard Entry

  A lot of incidents happened that once the confident me is now battled and bruised. I no longer have any faith in anything. Even LORD who I put my faith into, I have retreated from it.
  
  I am now back to my old self, believing in me. Everything around me are so fake now that I do not know what is real. No words can be trusted anymore.
  
  To me, only me is the only thing that can be trusted. Only me, would not betray me.
  

  曹操 in the past went on the journey on his own. He never trusted anyone because all the people around him had betrayed him. I felt like him now, gotten betrayed by people around me. My faith and trust on them had died after hopes are lost.

  LORD has given up on me, leaving me to my death. I suffered all blames even though I meant well to people. Nobody wants to understand my intention and instead blames me for whatever happen. Did I caused all the problems to happen? Am I the one who caused all that? Who are you all to criticize me when you all do not understand me?
  
  People say that I do not change, but come on, when have you all put yourselves in my shoes to see from my viewpoint?
  
  I am just trying to advice and guide people but they do not appreciate it and instead kills me for my effort. I have enough. Since no one is ever going to understand me, why should I put up with all of you all anymore?
  
  Force me to the brink of my death, and you will get revenge and hatred from me. Remember I am someone who can remember your kindness and your hurting of me. If its the latter, I will not do nothing. After all I am a SCORPIO.
  
  

  ---

  
  I am officially out of PROJECT V. However, I cannot leave my place in the team, even though I am no longer the OIC. I now stay on to help out with the administrative work, website and volunteering work of the project.
  
  After months of struggle and internal conflict with the team, the team got separated. My experiment of 'human heart' was definitely supported. Only the strongest leader will stay on in the team even in the midst of chaos. I created chaos for the team, but only a few stay. The rest left just like that, without even wanting to stay.
  
  Meeting with YMCA and APSN were good. Rave managed to persuade them to let the team to continue. I was at least relieve.
  
  Reservist ended on Tuesday with a slack week. I guessed it went out fine. Met a few of my ex army mates, one of them are even in the same section and unit as me, glad that I got accompany. Known a few more people in the unit. Now only waiting to see what is in it for me next year.
  
  Oh, did I mention that I almost pass IPPT? I got 7 points for the first time since so many years of not taking IPPT. I also did marching during my reservist.
  
  What I feared most had happen. Today, Vic told me that he wanted to take me out of the YCC committee. I guessed I sort of knew that this would happened after the PROJECT V incident. Now, I am upset, even the final faith that I am hoping to have is gone.
  
  

  WHY DO LORD WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY FINAL FAITH? LORD FORSAKE ME ONCE AGAIN!
  

  
  My hatred which had been kept in the past, had been reignited again, by all these dissappointment. I HAD ENOUGH!
  
  All these happened before I went for work today. Thankfully, the work is fine. My boss, Josh is giving me some good opportunity at workplace. Now, I am just waiting to see what happens.
  
  From today onwards, I am on my own again... Once again...
  
  
  

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• Too many obstacles!

  Tuesday, Jun 23, 2009 12:28AM / Standard Entry

  Hi all, I just finished resting from my 7th Y Camp Challenge and in 2 days time, I will be setting for my In Camp Training. Sigh, going back to NS makes me headache.
  
  Anyway, the 7th Y camp was near to perfect, just that there are some room for improvements. I felt that this camp that Yiwei planned had a beautiful outcome, and I seriously enjoyed it. However, there are small incidents in the camp that made me moody.
  
  Well, it had past already and I seriously felt no point in talking about it anymore.
  
  Confirmation of one thing for the coming December's Y camp is that I will be involved in the committee. From the meeting between Victor, Tom, Chao Qin and me, I heard that my role is quite a busy role. Wah... Head spins...
  
  Praise the lord for giving me this chance to finally get into the camp committee.
  
  Coming back to reality from a wonderful Y camp, I actually did not have any rest time yesterday, because I got to finished my individual essay and a quiz, then I got to settle stuff for PROJECT V and also find a job. Woah, so many happenings after Y camp.
  
  I have to praise the lord, because I finally gotten a job. Thanks the lord for letting me know SMU peeps through YMCA, and thats how I got to know Zhi Wei. He found me a job at his newly opened cake shop in Bishan which was opened with his partner. I would be working part time at there.
  
  My assignments had been handed up. Phew, actually, I was falling asleep after I had done my quiz. So, thanks the lord.
  
  PROJECT V have too many obstacles to overcome. Currently, all committee members are not motivated to continue. Rave trying to snatch everyone's job over. All the stuff which I do not want to see is happening. Oh my... Is my managing a committee's skill that bad??? Sigh, I now can only pray that with Huili finally coming in, things will be smoothen out.
  
  PROJECT V is my first planning for major event. In the past, I have done planning for clubs though its not that successful but still events happen in the end. Coming to YMCA, with the outings that I planned, it can be said successful to an extent.
  
  However, those are just small projects, and now coming to PROJECT V, it makes me feel that the problems that I faced in the clubs that I managed in the past occurs again. Even after I restructure the 2nd time, nothing seems to work.
  
  Sigh, things does not seem to goes that smooth. I am now really lost of the direction, but if you are lost, the whole team will be more lost. Haiz... Hope that Huili will know how to progress from here now.
  
  
  

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