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Lost faith to everything around me
Thursday, Jul 2, 2009 9:08PM / Standard Entry / Members only

A lot of incidents happened that once the confident me is now battled and bruised. I no longer have any faith in anything. Even LORD who I put my faith into, I have retreated from it.

I am now back to my old self, believing in me. Everything around me are so fake now that I do not know what is real. No words can be trusted anymore.

To me, only me is the only thing that can be trusted. Only me, would not betray me.
曹操 in the past went on the journey on his own. He never trusted anyone because all the people around him had betrayed him. I felt like him now, gotten betrayed by people around me. My faith and trust on them had died after hopes are lost.
LORD has given up on me, leaving me to my death. I suffered all blames even though I meant well to people. Nobody wants to understand my intention and instead blames me for whatever happen. Did I caused all the problems to happen? Am I the one who caused all that? Who are you all to criticize me when you all do not understand me?

People say that I do not change, but come on, when have you all put yourselves in my shoes to see from my viewpoint?

I am just trying to advice and guide people but they do not appreciate it and instead kills me for my effort. I have enough. Since no one is ever going to understand me, why should I put up with all of you all anymore?

Force me to the brink of my death, and you will get revenge and hatred from me. Remember I am someone who can remember your kindness and your hurting of me. If its the latter, I will not do nothing. After all I am a SCORPIO.

I am officially out of PROJECT V. However, I cannot leave my place in the team, even though I am no longer the OIC. I now stay on to help out with the administrative work, website and volunteering work of the project.

After months of struggle and internal conflict with the team, the team got separated. My experiment of 'human heart' was definitely supported. Only the strongest leader will stay on in the team even in the midst of chaos. I created chaos for the team, but only a few stay. The rest left just like that, without even wanting to stay.

Meeting with YMCA and APSN were good. Rave managed to persuade them to let the team to continue. I was at least relieve.

Reservist ended on Tuesday with a slack week. I guessed it went out fine. Met a few of my ex army mates, one of them are even in the same section and unit as me, glad that I got accompany. Known a few more people in the unit. Now only waiting to see what is in it for me next year.

Oh, did I mention that I almost pass IPPT? I got 7 points for the first time since so many years of not taking IPPT. I also did marching during my reservist.

What I feared most had happen. Today, Vic told me that he wanted to take me out of the YCC committee. I guessed I sort of knew that this would happened after the PROJECT V incident. Now, I am upset, even the final faith that I am hoping to have is gone.

WHY DO LORD WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY FINAL FAITH? LORD FORSAKE ME ONCE AGAIN!

My hatred which had been kept in the past, had been reignited again, by all these dissappointment. I HAD ENOUGH!

All these happened before I went for work today. Thankfully, the work is fine. My boss, Josh is giving me some good opportunity at workplace. Now, I am just waiting to see what happens.

From today onwards, I am on my own again... Once again...

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wenwemx08

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A guy whom is doing his very best to carry on living, whether life has been bad or good, he struggles on....
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A guy whom is doing his very best to carry on living, whether life has been bad or good, he struggles on.

He is determined and stubborn most of the times, but he did not meant anything, he just wants to get things done in the way he thought it was right.

Though it may not be the right one, he have to thank all those people who had work with him, bear with his temper and nonsense. Its all these that kept him moving.

He has been doing his best in his volunteering work commitment. Concentrating on serving the child care, elderly care, animal care, vegetation, intellectually disabled and student care from 1999 till now.

The only thing in his life now is to contribute back to the society and the community. Nothing else is more important than the poor and needy around him.

For him, love is just a passerby in his life. He is always a friend to the one he loves.

For now its his ambition to do more volunteering work.
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Age: 23
Gender: Male
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