I'm not supposed to love you,
I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there,
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what to do,
I'm so sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.

  I haven't felt so special for the very longest time. Finally, something that felt so real and so confident! Fingers Crossed!!

I'm so scared that I wouldn't make it in...

but then today.. I found out that some people out there really do stand up for and support me...

I know that even if I don't make it in...you guys would still support me forever =)

Becuase of that.. i'm now not as nervous and scared... =)

 

I love you <3

 

          It's not 6:44am and no, it's not good morning to me! Goodnight! Really, this makes me feeling like shit to see the sunrise. Feels likes a day has pass by already...and the next day is already here trapped in your sleep!

         It's really akward to say this...but...seriously...I don't like it when people say positive things to me and being sarcastic about it. If you don't mean it...don't say it!  If you say it to praise me, that's not how I think. I have almost ZERO confidence in myself. I know that i'm not smart, pretty, or perfect! I'm never perfect and no one will be! Everyone is different has different taste.

I hate people who are judgemental! Everyone should just judge themselves before judging someone else! I hate it because people choose to pick on me and laugh. They make me like I am joke! Am I really that funny and to laugh about? So what i'm fat...so what i'm ugly...? I don't see any perfection in anyone! No one is flawless! But seriously, why pick on me!

  I study this in school. Appearance. People are judging to much on the appearance nowadays! Who's hot and sexy get the guys....who's hot and handsome gets the girls. What happened to all the inside huh? No ones really cares about it anymore. The look goes first. We now love to judge the cover by it's book because at least they got the look! But inside...seriously...a piece of shit! How society is shaping an individual is so out of the line! What is pretty? what is hot? what is flawless? THere's no right or wrong answer to this question but to many people, there is always one!

Who's nice? Who's honest? Who's trustworthy? Almost no one! At least to me...there's like only 1 on my phonebook list! Who's fake? Who's dramatic? Who's the one being left out? I hate all those question because no one is 100%. No one is 100% nice...no one is 100% trustworthy...no one is 100% fake..no one is 100% dramatic...BUT...everyone would feel left out at least once in a lifetime!

I HATE IT...when people... are fake to me. If you don't like me..then walkaway...I won't care! I

I hate it when... people use me for benefit! I have no benefit! FUCK!

I hate it when...people try to control me...no one would be able to and not like i'm gonna listen!

I hate it when...people don't know what they're doing but they never listen to your suggestions!

I hate it when... people tell me i'm hot.. i know that i'm not!

I hate it when ...some motherfucker try to break friendships!

I hate it when...guys hit on me and obviously there are no sparks

I hate it when...your not my cup of tea but keep on hanging on to me...

I hate it when...people think they know you but they don't

I hate it when...your friends are not standing for you all the time

I hate it when..people laugh at me and turn me into a joke

I hate it when...people makes false assumption about me but believe what they thing

I hate it when..girls think that they are the prettiest person in the world

I hate it when...guys fall in love with you because of your appearance

I hate it when...people judge a book by it's cover!

I hate it when.. people think that they're always right but they are wrong!

 

    

        How come when you're on your phone, and when I ask you something, you disrepect me in front of your friends? Why do you want to mislead people that i'm a mean person?

       Every single time when you do this...it makes me sick. It makes me so sick that I feel like puking. When you're on your phone, you always say something to me with a terrible attitude...Because of that, people would think that I'm a bitch... But i'm just standing right there and ...and that's a big "O" !!!

    

       I'm always a supporter..and when you get in.. i feel so happy for you because it's your dream.

But when i don't get in...i feel bad already..and you have to step me down even further...FUCK

 

     I hate people who smokes weed. I can't believe...u did it!!! Ur life is over!  I really want to tell those parents...your beloved son/daughter is now smoking weed daily...getting high with a bunch... how heartbreaking it would be. It is so disgusting...I hate those people who do it...don't wanna have anything to do with them ever... At the same time.. i feel sorry for those who love it...i feel so so so sorrry...