...a little out of sorts, a little uninspired. A change is in the making, but next week's result will make or break one of my many resolutions for the year. People are such selfish creatures. They tend to run when they sense inadequacy, when they smell weakness, when they feel as though it is no longer worth the time. Not many would stick around and wait for things to come around. A flaw? Or a trait? I don't know. Do I want to know? I don't know. A week back home was yet another mix of rollercoaster emotions. Family are a bunch of peop...Read more
And so it is here again. A brand new year, a brand new start.Yes, I'm pretty much 23 days late, but better late than never. Besides, I only plan to really construct my resolutions (not that I believe in it, but I can't think of a shorter, nicer word to sum up a list of 'things-I-will-finally-do-this-year-because-if-I-don't-my-life-is-fucked-coz-I-ain't-getting-any-younger') after the Lunar New Year. Ha, procrastination strikes again!The last month of 2009 was spent in a sort of hazy, dreamy bliss, while the first 3 weeks...Read more
Nothing disturbs me more than seeing someone struggling frantically with their emotions. Whether it is frustration, desperation, helplessness or disappointment, once these feelings arise due to an out-of-control situation, it's just devastating.
Devastating on my part because I cannot do anything to ease the person's pain.
And devastating even more so, because I fear that should I one day go through these same emotions, I would not have anyone nearby to turn to.
On a more personal note, I received the m...Read more
...and I like to ponder about my existence. I eat, I sleep, I cry, I laugh.But what really drives this vessel? Why does it rain? Why does the man I take the bus with always have the same forlorn stare in his eyes? Why did I choose to run away? Why do I seek sadness in voices? Why are my toes pretty, but my feet tainted?I want nothing more than to belong. But where?Solitude is a curse, but a very weary one. Yet sometimes, it can make you feel extremely safe and protected. And on a happier note, I love Christmas.
Does it make me a whore if I like reading books about whores?Does it make me slutty if I'm interested in the life of girls who are so-called 'sluts' because of their choice of profession?Just because I'm fascinated with all things sex, forbidden and taboo, does that mean I'm loose and promiscuous?I don't think so.It's pretty much like how when you don't know about something, you want to find out about it. And in my case, I am not exactly constantly exposed to the flesh trade, hence the curiosity. Do...Read more
This is exactly how I feel right now.Yes, I feel like an oyster mushroom covered in thick, black paint.Figuratively.2 weeks till a reunion in KL.4 more till a summer Christmas getaway.And limited time to make a decision.It stings.
Last night, I read a remarkably funny macabre-ish tale. It goes something like this: There was an unusual ending to that story (eg. what happened next), but I'm not going to spoil it for you. My main point in writing this is...If I gave you my beating heart in a clear plastic bag, what would do with it?
Sadness is perhaps a way of life. And hurt, a sadistic subconscious longing.Tears are tiny vials of poison.And smiles?Ingeniously painted lies.The most tragic stories are the ones not told, the ones not given a chance to escape from its dark, dank prison. And I think I have found the ultimate wedding dress(es)! It's a toss between this: ...or this:Read more
因為陌生所以勇敢 因為距離所以美麗 ~*~ In the existence of your love, I have become non-existent The non-existence linked to you, is better than all existence