6 Songs That Have Accidentally Killed The Mood For Me
We've all done it: we're in our apartment, with
someone eagerly awaiting us on the bed, but our roommates are home. No
time for a playlist and you forgot to make one anyway, so, quick, throw on the
shuffle function on your computer's MP3 player! That'll be fine!
No! No it won't!
Long, bitter frustrating experience has taught me that all MP3 playback
programs are specially designed to insert as much mood-killing music as
possible, especially since even the least musically inclined person now owns a
massive music library, especially one that tends to reveal their sick sense of
humor. Here are ten songs that my computer has used to c*ckblock me.
Fair warning, a big chunk of these songs are inappropriate for work.
1) "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch
Nails. Come to think of it, pretty much all of Nine Inch Nails, with the
possible exception of that weird ambient album. This one just stands out
because this came on and I leaped up from what I was doing, sprinted over to
change the song, and tripped, knocking my head on my computer. On the
other hand, when we were over at her house, Metallica's "For Whom The Bell
Tolls" started playing.
2) "She Came On To Me" by John R. Butler. You might know Butler from his parodies of
evangelical country music, which, being something I grew up around, I'm a big
fan of. On the bright side, at least, so far, I've never had any David
Allen Coe of "Take This Job and Shove It" fame play. Yet,
3) Pretty much anything by Tori Amos, but special mention must go to her
version of "'97 Bonnie and Clyde", which might be the most disturbing song ever performed by a woman.
At least until you dig into more of her catalogue. I've heard stories
about big Tori fans discovering the hard way that her catalogue isn't actually
that good for sexytimes.
4) "Smell" by the Tiger
Lillies. Pretty much anything by the Tiger Lillies, actually.
"Smell" is pretty awful, and that's pretty much the only one I'm
willing to link. Let's just say that they're notably obscene and leave it
5) "Mr. Spock" by Nerf
Herder. It's both an incredibly nerdy song...and a bitter, hostile
break-up song! Yeah, that's great music for getting it on. On the
bright side, at least it wasn't "Pervert".
6) "Dare To Be Stupid" by Weird
Al. Not all Weird Al can completely kill the mood, but this song can be
distracting for any number of reasons. Also, it really doesn't help when
she's the one cracking up.
How about you, dear readers? What songs have ruined your nights of
Alex Wise is a dating coach. His book and work have been
featured on television shows such as Dick Clark's "The Other Half"
and Lifetime's "Speaking of Women's Health" as well as in
Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Complete Woman, MSN Dating & Personals and The
Chicago Tribune. Look For Alex online at loveawake.com.