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  • On A Certain Low Inspired By A Certain Fry

    Thursday, Nov 5, 2009 1:41AM / Members only

     Most of the people who actually think they're the ones who care about language, the kind of absolute arse-witterers who write letters to newspapers... moaning about the confusion of disinterested and uninterested and thinking that they're terribly educated and that they really understand language, and they know the derivation of words, someone has said “less when they meant “fewer”. That's not being a guardian of language. Being a guardian of language is enjoying language and understanding it, and if people understood it for a second, the philology as it’s called, the history of it, you'd realise that language is changing all the time.

    --Stephen Fry, Jonathan Ross Interview

    An amazing opinion by an unequivocally intelligent man. While watching said interview, the whole ‘Ris Low and her amusing word creations’ along with the general public’s criticism of her “abhorrent” butchering of the English language. Believe me, I do not believe that their criticism was unwarranted, and to say I never partook in ridiculing her would be hypocritical. But what Mr. Fry so elaborately explained, English is an ever-expanding, ever-changing thing. Unlike, say French, which has an authority overseeing the weeding out of improper French words, the English language is malleable and words consistently take on new definitions and discard old ones (e.g. meld and book).

    Hence, her habit of making up new words can hardly be criticized. After all, even The Bard himself, whom we consider to be an English legend, made up words half the time. In fact it is said that he had a larger vocabulary than English itself. Yet while his creations have lasted and evolved through the centuries and it is quite clear that Ms. Low’s words are more of a linguistic dead end, to ridicule her based on her creations is highly hypocritical of us, as we praise Shakespeare for his ingenuity. Naturally, of course, one is not recommended to use her words, as they are reminiscent of a more juvenile thought process.

    Also I see no reason for discrimination against her lack of ability to speak English. There are many contestants, on the international stage, who cannot converse in English at all, yet they are provided with translators, why then is Singapore so insistent on giving an impression that English is our language. By doing this cripple our representative, when instead they could have aided her to “shine” by providing a translator to assist.

    That being said, I am glad the current holder of the Ms. World title was the one sent instead, for in my opinion she far exceeds the top 2 in terms of beauty and even perhaps, eloquence.

    It is late and I have little more to say on this subject except that if people wish to invent words, a smidgen of creativity and maturity is desired lest we end up with words like “Boomz” and “Shingz” and god knows what else, which, while not wrong, I feel is certainly far from desirable. And now a final quote from Stephen Fry, from the same interview.

    In London, our dear, beloved metropolis, you will see Medieval, Tudor, Elizabethan, Georgian, Queen Anne, Victorian, Edwardian, art deco, modernist, brutalist buildings all jostled together; it’s a very higgledy-piggledy city.”


    “Now English language is like London; a mongrel mouthful, whether we know it or not, of Chaucer and Milton and Dryden and Pope and Shakespeare and Dickens and American South Central and ghetto rap and Chicago and Australian convict talk and legal and naval and military. Every phrase we utter is an equivalent of London: it is both vulgar and procession, it’s both grand and squalid. And that is exactly what human beings are it seems to me. It’s both animal and noble. And people who try to aggrandize language into something that is right or wrong. You might as well say a person is right or wrong, but for existing. It’s just arse-gravy. No, it’s not acceptable. It’s very peculiar.”


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  • Pre-Review of Transformers 2

    Wednesday, Jun 24, 2009 2:46PM / Members only

     Yes. i watched it! At freaking 11 in the morning after work, with some colleagues nonetheless! Either way, I had to check it out especially since the douche-bag of a movie of a movie critic gave it half a star. HALF A FRIGGING STAR! Oh.. what is a pre-review you ask? Its so i don't spoil the movie for those unfortunate souls who haven't watched it yet... I'll do a full one at the end of 7 days, at which point i'd have probably watched it again >:)

    Right on. Anyway, the first task on the list is... Oh yes.. ripping the news paper's review to shreds. Well, well, well Mr. Critic, let's see what you have to say about this flick... Ah, interesting, in fact it is quite clear that not only does it sound like he surfed the internet for common criticisms of Michael Bay, it is also quite apparent that this critic is an idiot. And while i can appreciate the sarcasm that his critique drips with, it too clear that that is all that is really good about it. I mean you might be a fan of apple pies... but an apple pie dipped in fecal matter is still gonna be as repulsive.

    Firstly, he whines about the explosions and how it induced a headache in him, and while I am under the impression that most other movie-goers don't suffer from chronic vertigo, my condolences go out to him because he seems to be the type to pop panadols every time he sneezes. And his second most amusing complaint would have to be the amount of "judder, smoke and sand". Forgive me, but when you're in a raging battle against big ass robots in a desert, I would assume that lots of smoke and sand would have been a natural occurrence. 

    Lastly, his critical remarks about the camera movements during the show clearly reflect a total ignorance of cinematography and gives the impression that whole movies should be filmed on a tripod from a single angle. Don't like moving camera shots? Watch a slideshow!

    The movie itself was amazing. Mr. Bay really outdid himself. This movie had big robots, Megan Fox, hell-raising fight scenes and rock-your-nutsack explosions. What's not to love. I'd give the movie 4 stars. It deserves that much really. It's a movie based on Mecha anime. It's not Mystic River acted out by 20 foot cyborgs. And it was jaw-droppingly awesome.

    Will put out a full review once all you plebeians have also watched it. >:) 

    P.S. The Straits Times should get its act together and hire a better critic...

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  • My Very Messed Up Dream

    Monday, Jun 8, 2009 12:21PM / Members only

     I don't dream a lot. And when i do, for some reason, they are always vaguely reminiscent of the kind of visions a frequent user of LSD would have.

    So, it starts out in a vague dream reconstruction of my fire station, where I am getting ready to go for weight training with some of the guys. So we head up to the 4th floor, to a classroom which has one weight machine and a barbell, and we begin doing exercises, when suddenly after traversing around the room for no particular reason, one guy freaks out and goes "Look there is a weird lizard on the wall". But i notice it isn't a lizard, but in fact, it is a crocodile, a small one (about the size of my pinky).

    I proceed to catch this minute croc with a plastic paper pocket (the kind you find in files) and convince the rest not to kill it, cause we are the potential discoverers of a new breed of croc. So we take this plastic pocket and go outside of the classroom and , Lo and behold, we're in SJI with one of the science teachers nearby. He tells us to bring the croc to the science department which is conveniently just down the hall.

    By this time, its just me, the guys have disappeared. So i head in to find three science teachers and i show it to one dude. He goes like, "That isn't a rare species. In fact, it is quite  common species. That also reacts to light. If you shine a torchlight on it long enough, it'll crawl into the exit sign of a chinese restaurant". At which point even i am going "WTF!?". So i ask him what i had to do with it. He tells me i can't let it onto sand cause then it'll get used to the feeling of wet sand, so i should just let it crawl into a drain. Which i do.

    Then as i leave the dept, i realise that a few of my sec 4 teachers are standing around in traditional indian clothing, all black with gold trimmings, and i suddenly know that SJI is preparing for some festivities. I notice all my  sec 4 classmates, along with a newly installed lift, as well as some girls i know who happen to be there as dates.

    To make things stranger, the girls are all dressed in the kind of frocks that little girls wear, most in pink. Also we begin moving into the hall to sit down, then Maggie appears out of nowhere in a white frock, and asks me to dance, which i refuse because, we are moving to the hall for assembly and not to dance. Then i notice my classmates have tricked me as it is not my class's turn to move in yet. so i go outside and see them sitting down and talking with my teacher, at which point my handphone rings and i wake up...

    as you can see... very messed up.

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  • REM again

    Tuesday, May 19, 2009 9:01PM / Members only

     Ah yes... another day another review. It's been what? 14 days. That's not to say that I haven't watched anything worthwhile, but it does mean that i haven't been arsed enough to review them. Oh well.

    Another interesting episode of we are REM. Though i need someone to explain to me why for the first ten minutes the 3 leads all had the same strange pink lipstick on. Also there is a new character whom i didn't know about since i did not catch the last episode. A new detective called... uh.. I don't actually know. But that's immaterial. So this episode had them crack more puzzles that the dead Gomez has left them and also R and E have a mini-mystery in a recording studio, while M shows off her incredible multitasking powers, by solving the clues herself and managing her PMS. Boy was she feisty in this one.

    The mystery of the day, featured a pirated chinese version of Zac Effron, though they had a nicely inserted reference to Effron's gamertag (zacattack), though i am unsure how intentional this was.A recording artist who dislikes the stuff he is making, since he sings teeny-bopper, and no one in their right mind actually likes that crap... Needless to say R gushes over him. And it's always nice to see some gushing now and then, so props to them for that.

    Either way that mystery is solved promptly with it being some revenge issue, due to the thief being from some previous band that according to Roxy had "less singing talent than The Chipmunks", which I take offense at since i rather like The Chipmunks...

    Either way they return to M, who berates them for not caring about their dead friend, and then leaves in a huff..

    Moral of the story kids: Don't underestimate the power of the PMS 

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  • REM

    Tuesday, May 5, 2009 9:24PM / Members only

     I just finished watching another episode of we re R.E.M. Interesting premise, where the girls house-sit for Shai so that he can solve a math puzzle for them. Which begs the question "If Inspector Gomez had such a profound understanding of the Heisenberg Equation and could construct a code using it in conjunction with sign language, mentally, as he lay dying from a slit throat... What The Fuck was he doing as a police officer in the first place?!"

    The other weird thing was that, the reason shai asked them to house-sit in place of him was so that he could work on it on his computer at home. One would assume he uses a desktop. Then they show him working on a LAPTOP, which he proceeds to bring to the house anyway after solving the equation. So there was really no point in him doing that except for the scrīpt writers to place the girls in a life-threatening predicament.

    And which security company places a USB port on their home security consoles. Right, so with all the logical fallacies out of the way, the episode is an example of lazy scrīpt-writing. But on the bright side, the girls did a great job of looking good and actually acting, which is more than i can say for Twilight.

    Also who doesn't have erotic fantasies about three young girls trapped in a house with guy dressed like a RnB Altair. You don't? Well... umm.. neither do i.. really... 

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    Yo dude! Am gonna catch you on macbeth for sure!! HAHAHA. Gonna bring a surprise with me too ;) Btw could you add me up? Thanks!

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    posted on Monday, Mar 1, 2010 9:56AM  [Report]
    get those tisch guys to cut you some stuff from your shoot and make one! useful stuff man...
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  • Tushar began his theatrical odyssey at the age of 9, and quickly discovered that the stage offered him the anti-quotidian experiences he had always thirsted for...


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