Who would've known? Happy New Year everyone!

Preggers

For the past year and a half, I've been going on business meetings and organized an event at Hong Kong Disneyland... but at the hotels/resorts. Never made it to the park itself. Yes, so close, yet so far. Many a times did I want to turn right at the exit of the train station, but instead, always had to turn left to catch the coaches to the hotels. But this time, darn it, I finally made it to the park!!

So you can imagine my enthusiasm as we entered the park. We were handed some cardboard specs that, once you look through them, transform any direct light (and yes, that includes the moonlight!) into a snowman! As we made our way to Main Street, I spotted Goofy and Pluto hastily walking towards a shop. I just couldn't contain myself - this is the happiest place on earth, after all - and leaped sideways right in front of Goofy. I felt sorry for the person inside the suit as he/she skipped a step backwards. The attendant told me to step off because the DD (Disney Dogs) had places to go and people to meet. Fine.

I drag my feet to Tomorrowland, feeling a little nervous at the idea of having to ride Space Mountain. Yes, I am that useless when it comes to rides. But nevertheless grab my FastPass, because darn it, I've been waiting for a year and a half to get in this park so I'll make the most of my 'stay' here. While waiting to start lining up for Space Mountain, we decide to go to Autopia, a car circuit attraction (get the play on words? Get it? Get it?). We wait about 45 minutes... after which we all line up at our respective gates for our respective cars. I'm the last one of the batch and am terribly excited about my first "ride" at HK Disneyland.

I'm about to get into the car when an attendant comes to me. By now, my faithful readers (population: 2), you should know how incredibly fluent my Cantonese is. The attendant, a man in his late 20s, early 30s, asks me whether I can understand Cantonese. All confident I say "Hell yeah!" (okay fine, I said "yes"). So the dialogue goes:
HKDAA (HK Disneyland Autopia Attendant) - in Cantonese: Miss, in order to ride the car there are bla bla bla bla
Me - in Cantonese, and obviously not understanding what he said: Sorry? Can you repeat please?
HKDAA - in Cantonese: Miss, in order to ride the car there are bla bla bla bla
Me - in Cantonese: I'm sorry, I really don't understand that last bit, perhaps you could say it in English?
HKDAA - in English: Miss, we cannot allow pregnant women to ride the car.
Me (perplexed): Eh? (or that would be "Eeeeee?" in Cantonese)
HKDAA - in English: You're not pregnant?
Me (now extremely perplexed and staring down at my jelly belly): Er, no.
HKDAA - in English - and not embarrassed - while opening the gate door for me: Oh. In this case, enjoy your ride!
Me - in Cantonese and English: ............

Before you feel appalled and alarmed, let me tell you, I ain't gots no hard feelings. Why? Because the dude was merely doing his job. Perhaps they had bad experiences with women having miscarriages on that ride (and what a crrrrrazy ride that was, wooohoooo! Actually it was boring as hell). Who knows? But one thing's for shizzle: his delivery sure needed a little bit of tact. Oh well. I'll give some feedback anyway (hunched over, rubbing hands with machiavellian laugh).

On to the official definition - and I'll spare you the crude examples - courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

preggers
	A term used by both Upper and Lower class British Citizens while talking to friends to claim that their life long partner is pregnant.

And y'all probably thought I was announcing that I was pregnant... sheesh. Well I obviously am, according to HKDAA!

Well, so much for keeping a DAILY blog! heee. Let me introduce to you all a word that has recently been clarified to me by dear dear friend Ivy: Diss

To Diss
So after a fun night with the ladies (and the only gent) at Drop for Studio 54 Night (who does NOT like disco and 70s music?!?!), I needed to go home. My place is not THAT far from Drop (I live in beautiful Sheung Wan), but to me it's what we call "not 3, not 4 (mm sam mm sei)". It was close, but not THAT close on foot (or the "number 11" as we'd say in HK!). So I decided to be lazy and hop on a cab. So I tell the cab driver (and I know no one will ever DREAM of stalking me - trust me, you'd be very disappointed and realize you'd have been more productive watching grass grow), in my excellent Cantonese, may I add: "Please, Queen's Road West and the entrance of Hollywood Road in Sheung Wan". The guy reacts like someone just hit him on the head and starts mumbling something. Then he asks me: "What? Where? Queen's Road West and the entrance of Hollywood Road? I don't get it." So at this point, I'm thinking, did he pass his cab driver's license? Because he doesn't seem to know where to go.

So as we approach my place, he exclaims: "Ooooh! I see where you live!! No wonder I didn't get it, your Cantonese is SO bad!". All the cursing went through my head - what do you mean, mutha ucker (see note below)* ???! So I ask him, "Oh really? So how would you describe where I live?" ........sileeeeeeeeeeence....... then:
TSS (tek-see suk suk - uncle cab driver): "Well, I would say, Queen's Road West, and....er..... the, er, entrance of Hollywood Road.......... AND must turn left!"
ASS (yes, an ass, or angered snappy steph): "But I don't get it, you have no way BUT to turn left, because it's the entrance! Where else would you turn??"
TSS: "Yes, but that would help a lot - otherwise it's hard to understand."
ASS: "But again, where else would you turn, if there's only one entrance? You wouldn't go right, would you???"

Then we arrive at my place, and he goes, "Oh yeah, you really do live at that corner." What am I? Having an imaginary apartment (aside from imaginary friends)?? Anyway, this was the first time I've ever encountered someone questioning the directions to my place so much - my Cantonese has always been criticized though, so nothing new there!!.... alrighty, on to our courtesy definition:

	Diss
	A form of disrespecting someone, their homies, or thier mama. Don't diss on me, cause you aint me.

* On a separate note, to those of you who haven't seen Flight of the Conchords, I would highly encourage you to check 'em out! Here's a little mutha ucking clip for y'all:
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqxnm6t3QMw

Alright, alright, so I promised I'll showcase one Big Word per day, and failed to carry out my duty. I am not worthy. But if I do, then each blog will not be as special as the other one, riiiiight? Okay fine, I admit it, I slacked off. And I cannot list how many times that slack attack has hit me (yes, I am a victim after all).

To slack off
Ah what can I say. Everyone slacks off. Please do not even pretend to be completely oblivious to that action (or non-action for that matter). My slacking is often qualified as procrastination (is there a difference anyway?!) and I recall having done this for.... pretty much everything. Now you tell me if you're in the same boat - and for some of you sensitive souls, please spare yourselves the horrid details to come:
* bills, bills, bills: somehow, banks, credit card companies, electricity/gas/water companies and other insist on sending paper bills or receipts - what happened to being eco-friendly?! Don't know. But what I do know is that there's a healthy pile of unopened envelopes that are just waiting to surprise me with a string of digits that I'd rather not imagine. Yes, I do like to open them in one go because i enjoy.... slacking off.
* another one bites the dust: and that would be me? I guess so. Were you ever annoyed by that ball of dust just chilling in the corner of your apartment, nested somewhere between your bookshelf and the wall? And you just have to, have to pick it up with some tissue? Because you can't stand the sight of it?! Well, not me. I like to let 'em run free and pile up til they form a big tumbleweed-like ball. Then, and only then, darn it, is it worth my time and effort, because i enjoy.... slacking off.
* moldfinger, the one with the midas touch:...NOT. Perhaps it's me - and I admit, it's a horrible disease. But I just don't mind mold so much. Of course I wouldn't like to eat mold. But when it's sitting at the bottom of your sink after you've left your dirrrrrrty dishes sitting there for a few days (and it's hot and humid), you get? Yes, that's right: moooooooooooooooold. Guess fatigue after work trumps having to wash the dishes. Okay, perhaps I've shared too much insight into my daily life - everybody: erase that vision from your memory!! but either way, you get it - i enjoy..... slacking off.

I can go on ("nooooo pleeeeease!!"), but I'll spare you for now. Alrighty, on to the good stuff, courtesy of Free Dictionary.

slack off

I have to say, I kind of feel sorry for anyone named Jack. On one hand, you have an array of neutral and super hip words such as jackrabbit, new jack swing, lumberjack. Not so bad, eh? But on the other, you have expressions such as jackass, jack o##, highjack.... not so fun. And another, our Big Word of the Day:

Jacked
Can't say I've had the luxury of having been, well, jacked. Or perhaps I wasn't even aware when it was happening (on two occasions, my wallet magically disappeared from my bag - yes pathetic, I know). My mom on the other hand must have the 'come rob my loot' look. When we were living in Bangkok, she would often take the bus. Once, she got off the bus, searched for her wallet to pay for something and realized there was a knife tear at the lower back side of her bag. Some dude tried to squirrelly enter from behind. Another time, in the Paris metro, two boys teamed up to block her between the turnstile and the door of the ticketing machine. When she was finally stuck they ripped the bag from her. And theeeeeen, another time was still in the Paris metro. The train was pretty full so she was standing very close to the doorway. As the doors were closing, a hand dipped into the wagon and snatched her bag. What great little anecdotes for a moist and gloomy day, eh?

On to the official definition from our trusty urbandictionary.com:

jacked
	1. Verb: Past tense Origin from 'hijacked': as the past-progressive meaning stolen in a violent fashion. Commonly refers to robbery, theft, misuse, seizure, possesion. 2. Adjective Well muscled, iron-bound, pumped. * "Yo, I got up to go to the bathroom and some jerk jacked my seat" or "Yesterday I jacked a pack of gum from the mall." * "That weightlifter sure is jacked. Too bad he's on steroids."

Sorry to sprinkle a little vulgarity in the world of AliveNotDead. It's the weather.