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• My First Blog Entry

  Tuesday, Jul 24, 2007 1:56PM / / / Members only
  

  From here on forth, I have decided to become an active participant on this thing called the Internet. The Internet is wonderful - gives me instant access to so many things (news, information, friends, women). However, I feel like it is time to enlighten the Internet with my wisdom and knowledge. Some of you might be thinking if the Internet was a person its IQ probably went down 5 points. You’re probably right.

  The History of Alcohol

  The first discovery of alcohol predates the written language. In fact, I think alcohol goes back to prehistory times when the Neanderthals were fighting for their lives against the wild and most died sometime around high school age. The men who discovered alcohol were the ones who were able to pass down their genes the best and became our fathers. Alcohol wasn’t a very easy discovery since it was basically rotten fruits and tasted pretty bad, but the men who found the true secret of alcohol were able to breed the best and the most? Why? Because they realized it made women horny. It was the absolute best way to get women to breed with them without having to expend too much energy and effort on one woman. In fact, they most likely gave their counterpart women some wine, played some Marvin Gaye, and got it on (a lot). Evolution eventually took its course and those that had the knowledge to make wine passed it down to their many off-springs.

  If you don’t believe me ask the Geico Caveman.

  I have another opinion on wine, but that will be for another time.

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