語言 

Blog entries

  • Goodbyes, Homecomings and Visions of Paradise

    Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009 5:57PM / Standard Entry / Migratory SnowDuck / Members only
    8 comments

    As you can guess from my sudden disappearance ... coming home was not a smooth transition. 

    I miss HK and Beijing. More precisely, I miss the people. However, allowing myself to dwell on this feeling is like scratching away a scab. I pour my sense of loss in a cup of tea I drink every morning. A cup of tea in the morning? Let me guess - you're thinking, "WTF?" (Or something along less vulgar lines). I'm an official coffee junky and declared tea hater. YUK!
    Still ... Go figure. There I am. Sitting in my armchair sipping Sam's tea and playing with the six jade turtles of my bracelet (appropriately named Bill-Debbie-Karen-Lemon-Sam-Sharon) as I peer into the fog that cloaks my mixed feelings.

     

    Without blabbing too much about the details of it all - you really (trust me!) DO NOT want to know  - just let me ask you a question. 
    "Have you ever, with a sigh of relief slipped out of shoes too tight? They were fine when you put them on but after a round of waltzing proved inhibiting to your step? But now you're - under a dinner table or in the safe dark of a theatre - wiggling your numb toes, suppressing primal grunts of relief? And you realize, quite surprised actually, that you've been taking smaller steps to accommodate? And notice, looking back, there was an inexplicable and tiny hesitance to "really step on it"? Well baby, the worst moment? Yet to come.

    It's when you slide your aching, puffed up feet - that are happily pulsing away - back into those shoes. Because you will have to get up from that dinner table. Because the lights will come back on in that theatre. And you're ready to take an oath that they've shrunk? Totally.
    Nothing beats that first step. Well, not a lot, to be fair.

     

    On a brighter note: I've finished the translation of another NGS book. Yesterday. With a sigh of relief. The book was sitting on my desk waiting for me when I came home from HK. Visions of Paradise. A wonderful coffee table book. And a REALLY helpful comment to the situation I was in when I came back. Or not. 
    Anyway, the pictures are extraordinary. Not the lush and saturated images of wildlife and nature we've generally come to associate with NGS-photography but very different, artsy and conceptual and personal pictures. Especially because of the idea behind them. Selected photographers were asked what - to them personally - was heaven on earth. Each contributed one picture and a short note to express his/her thoughts on the subject. It's brilliant and food for contemplation. 
    I found my answer in the words of Paola Antonelli - "Satisfied curiosity". It's from her TED-lecture (here).  
    As I write this, I'm curious ... What is your heaven on earth?


Entry comments (8)

  • Please login or sign up for FREE in order to add a comment.
  • JoanneSanderson
    JoanneSanderson
    posted on Saturday, Feb 21, 2009 12:01AM [Report]
    Aye that's true, thanks Tracey!
  • mariejost
    Official artist Marie Jost
    posted on Wednesday, Feb 11, 2009 9:42AM [Report]
    With time and distance (physical and metaphorical), nostalgia comes into play.  I never really understood nostalgia until I hit about 40.  Then, one day, I understood nostalgia.  I felt it, and it wasn't sentimental or anything.  But it was very powerful.  I guess, for me, nostalgia is yearning for something that really no longer exists, at least not in the form I remember it.  I doubt if I went back to Spain now I would have anything like the experiences I had in my heyday.  They were tied to specific people as much as they were to a place.  That is what can make nostalgia so powerful--this intersection of time, place and personalities.  None of the people that made those visits so special for me is in my life anymore.  I have changed and they have changed and what once was can no longer be.  So that chapter of my life is closed, even if I should one day return.  I would/could create new experiences and memories--but, without those intense personal relationships, it just won't be the same.

    Now it is time to practice some Canto.  My future is  intertwined with HK these days, so off to practice the local lingo (again).  Sigh!  I hope it will start getting easier...
  • snowduck
    snowduck
    posted on Wednesday, Feb 11, 2009 7:00AM
    Dang, it does feel nice to be in your arms again :-)

    Flagday: No place on earth ... agreed, that's probably why I feel heaven is to me, for lack of better words, an activity rather than a place.
    I don't quite agree about vacations. They should be means to unwind and recharge. But when during a vacation you come to understand that, once you take yourself out of the picture that is your life, and look at what should be a Tracey-shaped hole is not at all Tracey-shaped... well, it gives rise a more fundamental question or two.  So, we'll see where my thoughts will take me. ;-)

    MJ: I don't think I could nurture a love from a distance like you do. I admire how you handle that. I'm greedy and I don't compromise easily ;-)

    Naomi! You're back aswell! Good things come to those who wait ... maybe this holds true for you too ;-)
  • mariejost
    Official artist Marie Jost
    posted on Wednesday, Feb 11, 2009 6:40AM [Report]
    Yes, yes, yes:  tea instead of coffee for breakfast!  Try puerh, which I hear is very popular in Germany.  It is very full-bodied, but never bitter.  I have brewed it for 10 minutes on occasion, and it was never bitter.  But it has a thick, dark taste.  Some of the best dried puerh has a musty smell like you get in leaf litter on the forest floor.  Since it is aged with bacteria (a natural process that was probably discovered by accident when canvas bags of damp tea were stored in a cave centuries ago), I assume this is what gives it that earthy odor.  I know the description sounds a bit gross, but, like so much in gastronomy that sounds a bit dicey, the taste can be sublime.  Cheap puerh is nothing to write home about, but the full-bodied aged stuff can definitely make you wonder why you ever wanted coffee in the morning (or noon or night).  Try some and let me know what you think.
  • silky
    silky
    posted on Wednesday, Feb 11, 2009 6:00AM [Report]
    Hard to believe that you drink tea instead of coffee o_O ^^
    Yeah, what is my heaven? I thought it was geography, but it isn't anymore...give me a cam and some free time...or just sitting on a rock and seeing the waves hitting the rocks...ok two heavens...
  • Flagday
    Flagday
    posted on Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009 8:42PM [Report]
    Isn't that the nature of a vacation?  You get the time and space to do what you want to do and you feel unencumbered, unburdened.  You blossom.  Maybe even realize some dreams.  Then you return to the humdrum of life.  I guess that's why it's important to keep trying to find stimulating things around you every day.  Helps you feel alive.  

    Coincidental translation job.  I'll bet it was some of your best work because you really felt it.  

    For me, there is no heaven on earth.  No place is perfect and even if I am in love with the spot, the way my head works unfortunately doesn't allow me to totally forget about the hell that surrounds us.  Don't get me wrong, not like I can't have fun, I'm just never 100% there.  Heaven is 100% relief.
  • mariejost
    Official artist Marie Jost
    posted on Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009 7:42PM [Report]
    The tight shoe metaphor is apt.  Whenever I go to work, it feel like this.  When I went back to work after 15 days off at Christmas, 15 days where I got to do research, watch films, write, and work on my Cantonese, I felt like Cinderellas sisters who had to cut off their toes to get the slipper to fit.

    I'll have to get back to you about heaven on earth.  I need to think about that some more.

    Glad to hear that you're doing alight.  I was worried, you know.  I wasn't expecting you to just disappear like that while you were in China.  I was worried that something had happened, and that maybe it wasn't good.  Glad to hear you got home safe and sound, if leaving your heart in China.  That happens.  You learn to live with the ache and sense of incompleteness after a while.  I had it every time I returned from Spain.  I haven't been able to go back for 9 years now.  I'm not sure I'll ever be able to afford to return given the state of the economy.  At least I had those 4 visits..
  • JoanneSanderson
    JoanneSanderson
    posted on Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009 6:16PM [Report]
    The tight-fitting shoes describe your feelings well, perhaps in a few weeks things will feel more settled.

    Sounds an inspiring coffee table book.

    I don't think i've found my heaven on earth, or perhaps I've been selfishly waiting too long for it to find me.

My blog More entries >

Stats

  • I love sparkly things - wit, talent, ideas, words, brains...& gadgets. I'm a Magpie at Heart. Slave to my Quirks. Heart on my Sleeve. Sue me....

    More

  • Gender: Female
  • Total visits: 35,070

RSS feed

Shout box

Please first sign in or sign up for FREE to post to the Shout Box.

Archived shouts

Tracey J. Evans has invited you to check out their profile. Sign up for FREE now to create your own profile and connect with your friends and favorite filmmakers, musicians, and other artists.