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FW: Chinese Doctor Advice
Friday, Jan 8, 2010 9:07AM / Members only
Someone from my office emailed this to me at work today. Now I think I'm just going to stop speaking English altogether.
I love this Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product. Ice Cream even better – everything Cow eats in one package!
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. All people who don’t drink unhappy – happy people live longer so drink more. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. More people killed running on street than lying on couch. My philosophy is: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: What about food additives?
A: You want to complain about something for free? If it added – must be better – like fuel additive!
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
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E'Tutto Qua
Thursday, Jan 7, 2010 12:52PM / Members only
A couple of friends and I took a weekend road trip to San Francisco to celebrate the New Year. As with most road trips that are taken with moi, this one included a lot of eating. One of the most memorable meals I had this weekend was at E'Tutto Qua. I was drawn to ordering the paccheri golosi because the word "prosciutto" and "mushrooms" in the description caught my attention. I love prosciutto and I love mushrooms! However, the dish was a little different from what I had anticipated. I'm not expert in Italian cuisine, so I was a little surprise when the waiter told me that the prosciutto and mushrooms were going to be grounded together. I thought...really? Okay. I guess it won't kill me to not eat prosciutto in it's normal thinly sliced form right? I was right and it was delicious. I thought the tube pasta could have been a little softer because that's the way I like it, but the sauce was to die for. I think it took a lot of self control for me to not reach for the bread to soak up the sauce to savor the last bit of it after we were done with all the pasta. Just look at the pic below.
For dessert, I decided to split a chocolate souffle. It was okay. Pretty, but just okay.
Margie and Peian decided to order the panna cotta and I'm so glad they did. OMG! It was the perfect consistency, not too soft and it tasted like creme brulee and custard. My mouth is watering just writing about it right now.
If I can eat like this all through 2010, I think this might just be a great year. ;P
E'Tutto Qua @ Sweet Butter Toast
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Savannah Cheesecake Cookies
Tuesday, Dec 22, 2009 1:16PM / Members only
I found a recipe on the Food Network by Paul Deen to make Savannah Cheesecake Cookies. They were yummy. 
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Vacation Days
Sunday, Nov 22, 2009 1:59PM / Members only
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An Education
Friday, Nov 6, 2009 11:12AM / Members only
A few weekends ago, I watched "An Education" starring Carey Mulligan. It's a movie about a 16 or 17 year old girl in London that falls in love with an man in his early (or mid) 30s. She seems to love all things French, which her parents (or at least her father) disapproves. She believes that her current life is very boring and is pressured into getting into Oxford because that's one way she can escape her currently very boring life and also because she wants to read English (or was it teach English?). Well the older man comes along and sweeps her off her feet and she falls head of heels in love with him. He plays his charms on her parents to let her stay out past curfew, go on weekend trips to visit Oxford, Paris, etc. He takes her to the opera, dancing, and fancy dinners. He basically shows her the glamorous life, all which she believes she can have right now with this older man. She starts to question the importance of education, going to Oxford, etc. Of course, in the end, there is something very twisted about the charming older man she had fallen in love with. She gets kicked out of school and jeopardizes her chances of getting accepted to Oxford. All in all everything turns out okay and has somewhat of a happy ending. 
When I first saw the previews for this movie, I thought it was going to be a lot of romance, drama, etc. Overall, the movie was very...calm, but interesting. The way the characters spoke was very witty, a little Gilmore Girl-ish but with a British accent. I really like Carey Mulligan. She kinda reminds me of Audrey Tautou.
Anyways, if you have time, you should definitely go check this movie out.
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- Super straight forward and blunt. I'm the friend that tells you that you look like sh*t at the end of a long day at work (and then I help you fix your hair)...
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