yesterday had a nice party, today i had a crazy idea

saturday is a strange day. i spend the whole day at the drama rehearsal. and at night, i thought of my ex ex gf the teacher again, i remember she was sick. and i am not feeling well at that moment. i wanted to care for her, so i called her, but no one answered the phone, and then i felt so lost. i almost could not focus on the drama technical setups, and then at 11pm, i called her again, no  one answered and i left her a voicemail telling her i want to know if she is doing ok. and then i tried to went home, but i wasn't so willing, so i left home again and called the other drama crew members and joined their party, it was a nice gang, i was almost the oldest person there. but it was nice even strangers interacted with me, and we had a nice time. and loads of alcohol too. an air hostess talked a lot about her life, being lonely every where, no constant work colleagues, no  special destination, and irregular hours, and during work, there are loads of demanding passengers, and even some colleagues aren't very nice because they know they may not be in the same flight in the future, so there is no need to be nice at all. i guess its not easy doing her job. we had fun till morning, and then we all went home. back home i couldn't sleep, keep on waking up every 1 hour. and then i originally arranged for the students to have a drama rehearsal at school at 11am, but when i woke up finally at 10am, i was so tired, and there was a thunderstorm out there, so i cancelled the event. and went back to sleep. i woke up at 3pm. still feeling so lost about my ex ex gf having missed my calls. then i had a flash, i went out and bought a nice looking ring, so i can give to my ex ex gf, and ask if she is willing to marry me, and to show i really serious about getting back with her. i had never bought her anything like this before, so i hope she will know i have changed. i know it's not the nicest looking ring around, and her admirers may even had given her a few more carets than mine, but i don't know, we lived together for 2 years, there is still some sentiment left for my only shot to work. i wrote a letter too. things like i had been wrong and should be banned for life, but there is also a saying called "better late than never", sth like that. i'll put it on her desk tmr inside an unsuspecting plastic bag so she won't reject it the moment she sees it. if i give it to her by hand, i am just worried that she will throw it on the floor right away, anyway, this is my last shot, and if she really threw my ring away and not even bothering replying yes or no , then i can finally lay her off. i know peachy had tried so long to tell me to lay her off, but sorry, i presevered. i'll let you all know her responses. and hope i can really sleep tonight. wish me luck. i don't know what to expect, apart from expecting next month to be a very poor month. haha hope the investment is worth it..