loneliness gets you

today i have 2 drama tickets for a thursday night drama, and i have them is because i bought it with my ex gf, the innocent victim girl. and then i asked a student girl from the drama club to watch it with me, but at the last moment, this girl said she didn't want to go, and then i don't know what to do, to watch drama is an significant event for me, so i don't want to watch it with a guy, and then there are not many girls who are immediately available and someone who attracts me to do so. and i don't know what to do , so i sent a sms to my ex ex gf the teacher to asked if she wanted to see a drama. there was no reply. and then another frd asked me to dine with her before her night classes began, i went. sadly , she is married already. we had a got chat over dinner. and then i set out to watch the drama alone. at the drama there was another single woman sitting next to me,  i have sick illusions that she is probably looking for some love and i might be the one, she has a great voice, a voice that i like to hear. and we laugh at the same times, and we like to move in a chair a lot, maybe we have something in common, maybe we can.......well the drama isn't very interesting, and i feel asleep several times. and she looked at me a few times, (maybe i annoyed her somehow)...the fantasies kept going on ,and then the drama finished, we left seperately. of course nothing happened, nothing will happen. loneliness gets you  sometimes. i  got mesmerized by the song chocolate by kylie minogue lately, its a good song, check it out on youtube. and then i decided to perform it in the school's singing contest as a guest. i spent then light generating music as the backing track, well it sounded like a cheap ringtone, but i don't care. i just want to perform it badly, it has a good feel. since my last days at the school i work in is approaching, i guess a little fun for everyone is good. maybe someone will record it and i will put it here in the blog. the next morning, i sent an angry email to my ex ex gf the teacher for no replying my SMS, saying something like i tried to reverse my mistakes, but she let me know it's not worth it. something like that she wanted me to learn to take up the responsibility from making bad decisions and now i have learned it and she doesn't want this lesson to end, and she wants me to bear this responsibility until i rot in my grave. i don't know if she will read the email, maybe i will give her a handwritten copy and force her to read it.she is still a very beautiful woman. and i like looking at her. evening came , and then were two student girls planning to organize a graduation dinner, and then my fantasies came again...