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In Context
Saturday, Apr 28, 2012 1:11AM / Members only
I have a vision board back home in the states. Aside from “normal” goals like places I want to travel to in my lifetime or artistic endeavors I want to accomplish, I also wrote down things I want to change about myself. One such thing is for me to see myself in the larger context of the world. I have spent much of my energy just on me the past few years. And you know? Honestly? Being self-absorbed isn’t always as bad as you think. It allows you to reflect, to self-analyze, to heal whatever wounds you may have, or appreciate the battle scars you have accumulated along the way. I believe me-time to be a good thing, especially when recovering from small or big emotional trauma.
But then comes a moment, when all this alone time, when solitude and inner silence plateaus. Me-time becomes a self pitying sob fest, and the comfort of it almost forces you to want to stay in this rut. I felt myself nearing that spot, so instead of anchoring myself there, I decided to stop looking only at my immediate surroundings, and to step outside my comfort zone. The result of that decision was Kenya.
Here is a passage by writer Malcom Gladwell from his book “Blink” that I’ve been pondering:
“Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions – we can alter the way we thin slice – by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions. If you are a white person who would like to treat black people as equals in every way – who would like to have a set of associations with blacks that are as positive as those that you have with whites – it requires more than a simple commitment to equality. It requires that you change your life so that you are exposed to minorities on a regular basis and become comfortable with them and familiar with the best of their culture, so that when you meet, hire, date, or talk with a member of a minority, you aren’t betrayed by your hesitation or discomfort”
I’m not sure that one has to make it a point to hang out with a particular group on a daily basis, but i can feel my own perceptions changing. And I like it. I’ve been spending much of my time mulling things that don’t involve my own personal battles, but that of others. And they are battles that have nothing to do with race, and everything to do with just being human. My heart aches in different ways, but my mind doesn’t allow the demons of my past to cloud these thoughts. What’s mine is mine. What’s the world’s is the world’s. I like finally having learned that distinction. Everything needs to be seen in its context.
So here I am. Nadine in the context of Kibera slums, Nairobi/Kenya. Through artsy fartsy filters to keep me entertained until I get to edit my documentary pictures.
My friend Carol spearheads one of the programs that I have really come to love. It provides assistance in with food, school tuition, medical bills and vocational training. Another woman was supposed to join the program yesterday, but before she could come on… before we could even go visit her for the first time, she passed away. She had a combination of HIV, TB and diabetes. That really put a damper on the whole evening last night, so today we went and immediately saw another potential candidate for the program: 19 year old beautiful Quinta, also HIV positive and weak from her meds, but incredibly beautiful, spirited and ambitious. She made me promise to come back on Monday, when Carol goes to see her mother. Excited to get to know Quinta. Such a sweet girl. Her smile and her demeanor are so delightful, I could stare at her all day.
You see, the whole experience might be very sad, if you didn’t know the whole context. Today was one of those really awesome days, even though it quietly brought tears to my eyes.
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Just Living…
Saturday, Apr 21, 2012 11:25PM / Members only
Three weeks of Kenya already. This trip is everything I thought it would it would be: Amazing and difficult at once. I am getting into the groove of things. As of a few days ago, I finally know how to get to school on my own. Kibera is a maze. Been making new and awesome friends along the way. I’ve noticed that I don’t feel entirely happy or satisfied, unless I’ve spent a few hours there getting to know people. The regular house visits have been particularly gratifying. Been getting more attached to my little girl “Faith”, the HIV positive one year old. I spoke to her doctor, who said that Faith only has a 50% chance of survival. Now I’m trying to find Faith better all around care. Her doctor is waiting on an orphanage that specializes in HIV babies, and will get me some more organizations on Tuesday to approach. The last time I saw Faith, she seemed soooo tired and exhausted. She’s been having respiratory problems from the ARV meds. I just really hate the thought of a little baby, who can’t speak up, feeling so ill. Babies don’t ask to be born. Let alone be born into illness.
I thoroughly enjoy visiting the other people in the program as well. Some are just so warm and welcoming. One of my favorites is Peter.
He’s a really sweet man. 85 years old, which is quite the age here. He’s lived in Kibera for 36 years! He’s got nine grandchildren, and takes care of three of them as their parents are deceased. You can barely see his eyes through his insanely thick glasses, but he’s always smiling. A real character. And he loves to have his portrait taken. Can’t wait to get back to my computer station at home to process all the pictures.
In the meantime, here’s another one of my favorites. Mr. Monkey and me. That’s from last week, but I really miss the animals, when I’m working. Nature in Kenya… breathtaking to say the least.
Thus, I’ve decided to treat myself on a safari for my birthday in two weeks. Can’t wait. And after that, I’ll most likely leave the urban area of Nairobi and stay in a rural village further west, where there is no electricity or running water. One of my new friends is actually constructing a girls boarding school there, and I hopefully will be able to help her out setting up a new curriculum. My wheels are turning already.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. I miss home a bit. But I’m counting my blessings. Every day.
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The HIV Question
Friday, Apr 13, 2012 12:54AM / Members only
Though on the decline, HIV has been a rampant problem in many African countries, including Kenya. The government provides free testing kits, but there isn’t enough manpower to administer these tests, and not enough HIV/Aids education going around to lift the stigma attached to get tested in the first place.
A “muzungu” (a non-derogatory term for “foreigner”) will inevitably cause a stir when walking around at the market in the Kawangware district. It’s a congested area. Lots of vendors and stands. Garbage everywhere of course. The other day, a team of four of us walked around there. I was sort of just visiting for the day. It was very much a walking clinic on foot: HIV testing, handing out vitamins, de-worming meds, and condoms. All supplies packed into backpacks. Every once in a while, we encountered some mentally ill people as well. One guy in particular, kept insisting that we shake his really dirty hands. I was very glad to have brought hand sanitizer with me. I’m fairly certain, I’ll be finishing my big refill bottle by the time I return home.
There was a group of young men, around 20 of them, who were congregating around a matatu (busses and mini-busses) stop. None of them wanted to get tested. Instead, all of them gave out marriage proposals. My friend alone must have gotten like 7 of them. I got a lot of “China” and martial arts references. At some point, I just got used to saying that I was already married, but to some it didn’t matter. “Only when you have a child, are you in a real marriage.” I admit, I kind of felt like my personal space was being intruded on, but it was all worth it when suddenly an older gentleman decided to get tested. “Do it out here, right on the street, so everyone can see. Everyone should do this.” So then he sat down, had his blood drawn for everyone to see, and before you knew it, the entire crowd of guys asked for their HIV test.
That day, 30 people got tested: 27 men, 3 women.
Of these 30, two tested positive. One man and one woman. The woman, had already known she was positive, but wanted to confirm. For the guy however, it was first time news.
I think for a good ten minutes, I had a knot in my stomach. I kept my face as neutral as possible, but internally I just wanted to cry at the sight of a young man realizing how his reckless or thoughtless behavīor has affected his health. He was perhaps 25. He has two wives. And a girlfriend. (Yes, polygamy is allowed here, but homosexuality is not.) And three young children. All of whom are now urged to come in for testing. And hopefully, he will follow up, because nowadays HIV is no longer a death sentence. With the right kind of medication, it becomes a chronic condition. But people need to be treated. And people need to practice safe sex to keep it from spreading.
But…
Unfortunately, it isn’t all that easy even if you do get anti-retro viral medication. I went back to Kibera slums today and made some home visits with some folks from the United for Parity program. There is a young lovely 31 year old woman, who is a widow and mother of three beautiful girls. Her name is Nancie and she is completely delightful to be with. Nancie is HIV positive and also suffers from TB. Her older girls, Bridget and Stacy, are healthy. But Nancie’s one year old girl recently tested positive for HIV as well. That little girl’s name is “Faith”. Never ever has that name made more sense to me than today. Faith doesn’t take too well to the HIV meds, so she gets sick very frequently. Nancie too has been too ill to work, so she is bedridden most of the time. Even after having met Nancie in her surroundings, I can’t even begin to fathom how a single mother of three does this. I plan on hanging out with all of them some more. It’s so hard to truly assess the situation after only meeting them for such a short amount of time, so I look forward to getting to know this family on a more personal level. She seemed keen to make new friends.
And here is something really corny that crossed my mind today. My name “Nadine” means “Hope”. I like to think that Hope and Faith can go hand in hand. That baby is just so darn adorable, and I pray that she has as long and as happy of a life as possible.
Here is Nancie praying next to two of her three daughters:
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Contrast
Sunday, Apr 8, 2012 11:00PM / Members only
I have started my photography project. Trying to photograph each kid at school is definitely not an easy thing to do, but I think I managed. Around 300 rascals of all ages. Went to get some quotes from labs and printing places around here and will hopefully get this done by the time easter break is over. The pastor and headmaster of the school are very excited about this, so I’m happy to be able to contribute a little bit and put some smiles on people’s faces. I’ll be giving all children a photograph of themselves. It’s unlikely they’ll get a “luxury item” like this again any time soon.
The school uniforms they wear, though torn and dirty, somehow still really deceived me on how bad the living conditions of their homes really are. A few days ago, I finally made my way deeper into the slums of Kibera (the school is a bit more on the outskirts), where I joined a volunteer on a donation run. Until that day, I just had no real concept of poverty. We spent some time in some of these homes, shacks built from metal corrugated sheets or wooden tablets. Each one must be maybe 50 square feet in size, plus or minus, depending on the size of the family. And somehow furniture are crammed in there. Every once in a while, an old TV is running in the background, if this particular part of the settlement has electricity. Not sure where it comes from. No running water. Everything is so tight and crowded, you can barely squeeze through the alley ways sometimes. And the one thing that stuck with me the most: Garbage everywhere you look. Plastic bags (some probably with human fecal matter) litter the ground wherever you look. And the amount of children of all ages playing there is astonishing. I think that’s when my heart hurts the most: When I realize that many of these kids will never actually go to school. When these young bright eyed little angels never even get a chance to fully explore their true potential simply because they will never get the same opportunities as other individuals in this world.
You can’t come to Kibera and not have it change your life.
Any documentary film on Kibera, no matter how badly done, would still be so fascinating for the viewer. There’s something very cinematic about the colors and the amount of detail you get there. I’m excited to be going back again this week with my team.
I’ve done some regular touristy stuff since then, to acclimate my mind to this daily exposure of poverty. Went to play with some elephants and giraffes and also spent some time nerding out at museums just learning about the general history of Kenya. How little we know about this part of the world. How much there really is to learn about humanity. Last night, while exploring the nightlife with some folks, I met two United Nations financial officers from Kosovo, a country I got to visit back in 2009. It’s funny how the minorities here are still the well to do ones. There really isn’t an equivalent here to the immigrant working class back in the states.
Here are just a few pics. I’ll have to wait to edit all the nice ones until I get back to the states, as I didn’t bring my fancy old laptop with me. Can’t backpack through Africa with so much weight!
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Starting A New Routine
Wednesday, Apr 4, 2012 12:35AM / Members only
Orientation was held at Hekima College: Institute of Peace Studies & International Relations this last monday. It was fun to meet all the Kenya volunteers. Most of them are placed all across the country in different towns and villages. I am based out of Nairobi. Housing is nice. I have 5 housemates plus two Kenyan ladies who take care of the cooking and general wellbeing of us. It’s nice to have running water, although right now as I’m typing this, the electricity is out. Not sure when we’ll get it back.
It’s been raining like crazy these past two days. Someone told us that we were the lucky ones who finally brought rain, because it had been so dry and hot.
Today, my placement started. I met with the headmaster of Olympic Education Centre in the Kibera slums, the second largest urban slum of Africa. We had a great conversation. I’ll be developing a photography project over the course of the next few weeks. Hopefully, I’ll be able to take portraits of all 300 students. My goal is to get prints of all of them and give them back to the students. Many of them don’t have a picture of themselves, so that’ll be nice. And the school can use the digital versions for their developing website.
The students are in the middle of exams right now, so most of my time was just spent getting to know the teachers, some students, though I did end up teaching English for two hours. The kids are so cute. I taught 5th graders. Did some reading comprehension exercises and some grammar stuff. This coming week is actually the Easter holiday, so I won’t be working there, but the following week, it sounds like I’ll be taking over a 4th grade and a 5th grade class for a teacher who will be gone for a while. Science and math, funnily enough the two subjects I did worse in when I was a child. Ironic.
I’m going to hold off on bringing my camera until everyone’s more acquainted with me. Taking pictures in Kibera is a sensitive subject. I have heard of slum tourism tours before, and I am somewhat indifferent about them. I think it’s a great way to get people to see what’s out there and for them to raise awareness, but at the same time I don’t want my subjects to feel like zoo animals. I told my new friend James, a Kenyan who works for volunteer organization, that I’d really like to just get to know his Kibera friends. And if after some time they’d feel comfortable to have their picture taken by a new friend, then that’d be cool. And if not, no big deal.
I’m kind of exhausted. What a day…
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Stats
- I love to travel and go on adventures. Maybe that’s because I’m a German Vietnamese American who is a citizen of the world. I also love to discover perfection in the obscure...
- Occupation: Director , Screenwriter , Photographer
- Gender: Female
- Total visits: 20,878
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