Happy New Year Everyone!  I hope you all are having a fabulous 09'!

Because resolutions seem to be forgotten as soon as the holiday partying ends, this year, I did not resolve to change.  Well, I didn't outwardly speak of the many ways I should start anew this year.  But as the days pass, I realize that there is reason for those resolutions we make at the end of each year. 

As a self-proclaimed perfectionist (and borderline OCD), I grew up arranging my books in alphebetical order, brushing my dolls hair over and over until there were no bumps, and meticulously drawing until my little hands ached.  If my parents happended to even take a peek at what I was creating before I was finished, I would crumple the paper up in despair and run to my room in tears.

Now that I am an adult (well I look like an adult), there is still the intrinsic need to make my surrroundings adhere to some silly idea of perfection.  This does cause stress, as you can imagine, but failing to satisfy this need for structure is even more stressful.

So, this year, I would like to make a few adjustments (easier to adopt than pure change).  Below is my list:

1. Raise my GPA in Grad School

2. Workout everyday for just 20 minutes to lose the baby weight

3. Eat less sugar and sodas (my weakness is Pepsi)

4. Take my kids to more cultural events (Yo-Yo Ma tomorrow!)

5. Look at others with compassion first, not judgement

6. Finish what I start (2 scientific manuscripts, my book, clothing project)

7. Find a modeling agent for my kids (have you seen them?)

8. Take my son to the Grand Canyon

9. Send my mother to France (for vacation, not permanently!)

10. Get to know more of you!

**I would love to hear all of your resolutions (adjustments), so please...post!

This year, I have set a goal to obtain presents for my loved ones without spending a dime.  No, I am not considering a heist on our local bank (or am I?), or pulling a Winona Ryder in Macy's.  Rather, I am bartering with others on Craigslist with the intention of getting rid of my unused valubles for items my family would like this Xmas (I also look under the free items category and have found some amazing things). 

For example:  My son really, really wants a Nintendo Wii which I cannot afford.  As I was browsing the posts in Craigslist I found someone willing to trade a new unopened Wii for something of similar value.  I offered him my beloved but rarely used mountain bike, and he is coming to look at it tomorrow.  Hopefully the trade works out because my son deserves his Christmas wish.

Yes, now I am going to brag about my boy.  Not only is he the top student in his class, is in the GATE program (has a genius IQ) and plays the clarinet and cello, he loves to help take care of his sister and help his Grandma around the house (she has arthritis).  My son also donates his toys to charity, is honest, responsible and is such a joy to have in my life.  He understands that we are not wealthy (he attends a school with mainly well-off children), and tries to be careful when asking for things that he wants.  There is nothing more I want this Xmas than to see his face light up when he opens the present with the Wii inside. 

In addition to the trade mentioned above, I am bartering for an ipod, some jewelry (for my mother), and a free surfboard that my father would love.  With our economy the way it is right now, there is an abundance of people doing the same thing I am...and this makes it even easier to find that special present.   

There is only one caveat: These items have to be picked up at whatever location the owner is at (rarely someone will offer delivery...rarely).  But gas prices have dramatically dropped just in time to make it very worth my while...even if I have to drive to LAX or Sylmar. 

So if you are in a bind this holiday season, think about bartering.  Is what our ancestors did and I am finding it simply enjoyable.  It is nice to be far from the malls and close to those who really matter.

Best Wishes to all of you on AND!

Jen

The father of my daughter has decided to not be involved in her life.  Rather, he has not contacted me since my second month of pregnancy, even when I notified him of her birth.  I am ok with this, as I was the one to make the decision to have her (and it was the most amazing experience I have ever had...just look at her pics).

It was a one time hook up, niether of us were careful, and I ended up pregnant (though due to severe endometriosis, I had been told by my OBGYN that I was sterile).  After I told this guy I was carrying our child, he suggested adoption (what are we, 15?) or abortion, stating that some of his past girls had gone that route.  Like the only thing that mattered was how this inconvienenced him.  Well, I refused, and let him know that I was going to have the baby...I already have a beautiful son, how could I even think of terminating?  He quickly scolded me for being selfish and not taking his position into consideration.

What really saddens is that the father was so concerned about his people finding out that he had impregnated a non-Chinese girl (he is full Chinese).  By his people, I mean: his collegues, friends, family, and fans.  Basically, this jerk let me know that 1) his reputation in the entertainment industry was at stake, and 2) he was very traditional in that he wanted to marry a Chinese girl.  Hmm, shouldnt have been fuckin' around with me then huh?

Well I ended up with the better end of the deal, and am thankful for each and every day I get to spend with the newest addition to my family...

My half-Chinese, fully-beautiful-in-every-way daughter Sophia.

Hi, everyone!  It's been a while since I have been on this site, and there is a bit of catching up to do.

7 days ago, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl.  She was 6 weeks early, but is at home and doing great. 

I miss all of you and welcome your comments! 

More to come soon!