This past year, SOOO much has been at work in my heart. I wonder if i were to meet the person I was a few years ago...that would be either a heart felt, tearful meeting, or one of us would have gotten our butts kicked:) regardless, i would have won lol but really, Ive grown so much, and I can see how HUNGRY I was for someone to show me the way back home, just to stubborn to ask for help. My walk of Faith has been laden with obsticals. Some I made, others are the ways of the world.
Which brings me to my responsibility as a parent. BIG! lol I heard once that the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world. Its true. Just about everything can be traced back to your childhood. Before I go any farther, let me say this. there comes a time when you have to GROW UP! you cant be pointing your finger at everyone else, saying "ITS THEIR FAULT! thats why I did what I did!..two second ago, knowing the consequences....but its not MY fault!" There is a big difference between being the person your home environment influenced you to be, and being an immature blame everyone else kind of person. So dont get me wrong there. lol.
My responsibility as a Mother is HUGE!!! They differ form my husbands. He has to provide for the family and protect us in so many ways. But a blog about that can wait till fathers day:) My responsibility as momma and wife really sets the atmosphere of the house. Proverbs 31;27-28 says "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her:" As such, I want my children to have a foundation of truth. I have grown tired of the hypocritical way I have been running my household. I teach them to pray, and tell them about God. Then I send them off school where they are bombarded with the very beginnings of worldly sin. I put them on the bus in the morning and its almost like the children who step off the bus at the end of the day are just that much more corrupt. I know that sounds harsh, and you may be wondering if my children are little terrors...lol they have their moments, but their hearts are so young and impressionable that this is really the time that they need my protection.. Dale and I have talked about home schooling before. But we didn't want to do it for the wrong reasons, and I wanted to make sure this was a commitment I could be COMMITTED to. My biggest fear is letting my kids down because I lose heart.
I am writing this to you all now because God has shown me I can do this. And i am SO excited to get started! We are letting the girls finish out this year (only one month left of school) so that the state passes them to the next grades, and they get to spend this time with their friends. I know they will still have their friends, as they are very social outside of school. I also know that this is the right thing for them. There has been SOOOO many days that I have been waiting for them to get home, so we could work on a sewing project together or have fun family time, but when they get home they are just bent on fighting with each other. They are tired from the day and stresses from this or that. I will never get back the times I have lost with them, or get a redo on some of the lessons I have wanted to teach them. But I am taking back my family. I feel like sending them to public school has been like sharing custody with the world. The rules at school are not like home. There have been times I was the last to know when my child was bullied. I have had a letter sent home to me saying that my daughter Veda didnt know how to subtract. Something I knew she knew...but she was being distracted by friends in the class and not focusing on her work.
Then there is the problem of State separation from Church...I teach them about God and then send them to a school that teaches evolution....I wont get into how wrong evolution is, maybe another blog...but its the double talk that I want to avoid. I have gone down the road of lost faith, I know what it feels like to think I was lied to. Not a lot of hearts are softened after a feeling of confusion like that. when it comes to parenting, I have to do all I can do, and at the end of everyday, I need to come to realize that its not in my hands. God has entrusted me with these children, and he has called me to lead them. But there will come a day when they will have to decide for themselves. I want them to have the truth in their hearts. God IS the creator of the universe! We have the breath of life in us! and the truth is, this world is NOT a playground, it is a battlefield! I need to be preparing my children to see this life for what it is, and for all that God has planned for them. This is my responsibility as a mother. This is why I will home school my children and lead them as only a mother can.
My husband is very excited. He has been having the same tugging on his heart about this as I have. He cant wait to get started. We are looking at curriculum, and just over flowing with ideas for projects and fun. My girls already know how to sew, but they have been asking for so long to do more of it. I am Very excited to have this time to teach them. My husband is of course thrilled to be able to expand our martial arts time as a family. He has also called dibbs on teaching history. I had to remind him, they are 6 and almost 8 years old, they arent ready for a college style lecture:) He will have to work on keeping it short and to the point:)
ahhh well, Im glad i wrote this in time for mothers day:)
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