I had my sis in law over for junk food and chick flick
movies.......then came the vodka:( I have some around because i use it
for a lot of different things(one is i have a recipe to make my own mouth
wash..dorky, but interesting:)
But i dont like to get drunk. Why is it that ppl think you cant have a
good time with out getting hammered?! I feel bad, cuz i fibbed. I took a
drink and then I dumped out my cup and refilled it with straight
juice.....LAME! WHY dont i have the guts to just be like, "Hey...i know
you already make fun of me cuz im a square, and i have dabbled in the drinking
thing before (big reason why i dont any more) and i know you just want to have
a good time, but im not going to drink." OH im so mad at myself. I can be
SO strong and stubborn. How can i be so solid one minuet then CAVE when im
worried ill hurt someones feeling if i dont join them in their
We did have fun. I was just having a good time, She thought i was
drunk...its funny i am clumsy. lol. We got into some of my old high
school formal dresses, Halloween costumes (lol my husband has a spiderman
costume, he surprised our 3yr old son one morning, Cloud still talks about it
all the time:) I put on one of my fav aprons and made us dinner while wearing a
formal dress that makes me look like the tooth fairy (haha). I made Ribs, yummy
potatoes, and one of my famous "everything in the garden"
salads ( not as good as the ones i make fresh from the garden, but good:)
There was junk food galore. I snuggled up with my coffee canister full of
peanut M&Ms. (ugh, yes, you CAN have to much of a good thing lol) we
chatted with old buddys on FB and goofed around on the net. I showed her some
music vids i like and stuff. I LOVE to laugh, and im rather gullible, so its easy
to make me laugh. I can be a ham:) or so my mamma says:)
It was all fun. So why do i feel so bad? I really dont like to lie. Its a SIN!
and its inexcusable. I feel like just PRETENDING ( i say pretending, but i made
no attempts to act like a fool) to have the vodka was bad. I feel
like by "protecting" myself, i just missed out on an opportunity to
be a good example, and share Gods love. Just by letting someone assume i
was on the same page as them, ive let down my morals and i feel so disappointed
in myself. I did have a sip. But the taste....it was so gross (I was
young and stupid once, i dont mix well with drinking)
im also mad because I was tempted to drink it ANYWAY!!!!!. For a
moment i was like, "Im a grown up, why CANT i have this!!" Now
i feel ashamed of my weakness. It seems i still have a ways to go. Im not very
happy with myself tonight. I KNEW better, and i didnt care. I totally
deserve to have a hang over in the morning! But i think i feel worse
I really didnt think i would react this way to a challenge. I really need to
pray about this, and what it means about my heart.....I have been under so much
pressure lately. this kind of snuck up on me. No excuse.
Log in to alivenotdead.com with one of these trusted providers
NOTE: Users of the original website please Click here to reactivate your account.
New users - Join the alivenotdead.comcommunity instantly by confirming your identity with a trusted authentication service.
Returning users - Please use with the same authentication service to login to your alivenotdead.com account.
First time users can create a new account from scratch by authenticate using any of the following trusted services:
WARNING: If you disconnect all your social media accounts your profile will be locked and you will not be able to access it again. If you want to keep your page, please add another social media account and then remove this one.
If you understand the risks, click this box to deauthorize your account.