cold water
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 1:23PM / Standard Entry
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It took me years before I could train myself to jump into a cold lake or take a cold shower. There's something about the chill hitting me that destroys concentration. My body overreacts. Instantly I would think that I was headed towards hypothermia.
When I lived in East Africa, the mornings in the highlands were chilly, and there was never hot water. For months, I tried mental tricks. Pictured myself jumping into a cool refreshing mountain stream on a hot summer day. Played mental games. Told myself that the water was hot. Tried yelling when I jumped under the shower. But none of that worked. I couldn't committ to the blast of cold water. Finally, I found a solution. I focused on the core of my body, I know it is a constant 98.6 degrees F. I know that whatever the temperature of the water hitting my body, its only on the surface. What's important is not the surface, but the core.
I have been thinking about that today. Work, relationships, family, have been pulling me in different directions. I become reactive, and as I become reactive, I find myself becoming disappointed in failing to achieve something that probably wasn't important in the first place.
But I find that if I pull myself back to a simple and constant core of who I am ,the feelings of disappointment go away. I find that I can commit to a course of action without being pulled away. Milan Kundera writes that history doesn't repeat itself, but in ways, I'm finding that as I get older, many themes do repeat throughout life. So today, I'm focusing on the core of who I am, not on the surface.
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