I have finally made my decision, I'm moving to Hawaii for a bit. I'll be leaving on November 1st. Why the sudden decision? Because God told me too. I know he had told me before, i just didnt want to listen. I was scared. To busy with my life I wanted to make all the big decision, make it on my own, stay focus on what i thought was right....but God held me close and told me to be still.
All my dreams, desires, and goals i had for myself wasn't going to be enough, especially for God. Each time i got inspired by someone who had accomplished there dreams, i get happy for them automatically but deep in a little crack in my heart i humbly told God,
Lord, you have taken me so far from where i was, you have flown me high enough to see others, and you have carried me when i couldn't bare the pain. I thank you, I praise you where ever i go, I learn your ways to glorify you, I am listening and I am letting go to know you more. I humbly ask, whens it my turn? Forgive me. I want to show the world Love as you do, i want to help the helpless as you do, and i want to begin this dream through you. Forgive me God. I thank you more and more each time i breathe, each time i hope, and even each time i feel left alone. I trust you, please show me."
It kinda sucks when family isn't close and good friends aren't who they are anymore. Jobs sucks, and career is slow. Feels like a hard life, but that wasn't the hard part of my life. LA i can handle, friends come and go, and work is work. The hardest part was not being able to hear God. Its like standing in the middle of traffic as cars honk, babies cry, people cussing each other to move, phones ringing, music loudly thumping, the smell of fast food, all together on a hot sticky day on a bridge. Phew...
So there i was, my life, full of noises, corruption, and uncontainable situations. The only thing i knew that could get me out, was God himself. As i walk towards the bridge railings, hopped over and stood onto other side. God whisper to me,
I have held your hand throughout this life and before. My hands have never left yours, will you hold onto my hands again?"
I finally felt the freedom of trusting God faithfully without any fear. I knew no matter what happens he will always have my back. I don't ever need to worry because his plans are bigger then mines. I have come this far in life, I am breathing today, my success doesn't end here, it has only begun through his ways...living freely and faithfully.
I close my eyes, held his hands, let go of the rail, and jump. My faith can never be killed, my trust in him can never be taken, and his love can never be destroyed.
Remember, don't let your plans be God's plan, let God's plans be your plan.
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