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why kids usually hook up the vcr
Saturday, Mar 29, 2008 2:07PM / Standard Entry / la la la / Members only
7 commentsI swear to god, my parents are going to kill me. They're going to give me a heart attack and kill me.
This past Christmas, being the dutiful but video game nerd daughter I am, I decided to give my parents the ultimate Christmas toy: their very own Wii. It was the latest, hottest newfangled thing for Christmas, and every kid in America wanted one. It's the coolest piece of video game hardware in a long time. It was revolutionary, by focusing on gameplay mechanics and without resorting to the time-tested Bigger Faster Better Hardware for Even Better Graphics technological march that causes PC's to obsolesce in 3 days. It brought the Casual Gamer market into mass industry acceptance and focus; even Xbox, who introduced their original gaming machine as the ultimate gamer's console, complete with huge controllers for their intended 18+ male gamer audience, has started focusing on the Casual Games market, and mentioned it in their CES keynote.
All that aside, since all that means bullcrap to my parents, the Wii has become a great toy that senior citizens and little kids, and all sorts of non-gamers enjoy. I actually bought the Wii much earlier than that, but knowing my parents' technical prowess, I abstained from sending the Wii, and waited til I could personally hand-deliver, install, and write little instructions for my parents.
If you really want to know how bad it is: My parents have 2 tv's. The one in the upstairs room, I don't think can take any inputs. Maybe it can be hooked up to a VCR. It has the little knob that you turn, to switch to different channels. The main one downstairs is very large, but very old. So old, it does not have cable in, cable out, or any sort of the usual audio/video inputs. It took me a moment to remember how to rig everything up (while I was staring at it). VCR connects to TV. Switch to channel 3 for the VCR.
VCR, which is semi-current technology (in the inputs dept), can accept connections from the DVD player, or the Wii. Not both. It only has one set. I stacked all the components very neatly, I connected the Wii to the VCR, i took twisty ties and tied together the analogous DVD input cables to the Wii cables, wrote instructions, and walked my parents through the process. Like 5 times.
If you want to use the Wii, it's connected. If you want to use the DVD player, take these Wii cables, pull them out of the VCR, and plug in the DVD cables (that are tied together with the Wii cables) instead. To use the Wii again, switch back. Switch this one thing. That's it.
Today my mom called me in an entitled rush. My aunt was visiting from Taiwan. She had to show off our Wii. NOW.
"How do I get it to work?"
What is displayed on the TV screen?
"Oh, ok, I will turn on the tv. Now what."
SIGH. Usually, it's my mom making these huge sighs. Usually following some answer of mine that signifies how I'm 1- not a doctor, lawyer, or engineer still, 2- not seriously dating or engaged or married to the perfect Chinese boy... or anyone for that matter, or 3- very very very far from having grandkids
This sigh was mine. I didn't even bother asking if the little instruction paper was still around.
Fastforward 10 minutes. I'm sitting in my living room perched precariously near the patio door Side note: I have no reception in my apt. That absurdity would deserve its own blog entry, except an entry where I say I have no cell phone reception in my apt. This sucks. AT&T sucks. over and over again, with nothing else constructive to add, would be pretty boring.
So I'm perched precariously in my living room, Speaker Phone ON, doing a pageant-wave-esque movement with my hand to stay at 2 bars, and suddenly I realize I'm yelling.
No, no, not the cable that goes to the outlet! There's another cable from the tv. Does it go to the VCR? Does it go to the DVD player? There should be a label above the cable. What does it say?
To which my mom responds, "Ok. Ok. It says, 'Welcome, DVD Player'."
If you re-read my questions and her answers, you'll see that none of her answers actually match up to my questions... And when I ask her to tell me what cable/input the tv has, she decides to tell me what the tv screen says. Why do you call me on the phone during dinner, to ask me how to do something technical, and then NOT ANSWER my questions that are necessary for me to figure out what's going on?!?!
This is not the first time we've had similar conversations. But usually I'm discussing the mysteries of the Interweb with my Dad, and he usually responds to my technical questions in a meaningful fashion.
She hasn't called me back tonight, so I'm envisioning my mom and her sister laughing and playing Wii tennis and boxing while my father watches. But next Christmas I'm getting them like. a painting.
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