The night of distant pondering.

When it gets dark and the world is quiet,I stand and stare out of my window and watch the sky. Most people search for that bed of stars across the sky,but I don't really know what I am looking for. A cloud maybe. Or many of them. Clouds comfort me. They are a burst of fluff,sometimes I see them in different guises; a little boy on a dragon with twin heads,or a sea of dandelions on a perfect flowerbed,and just sometimes I see an occasional parched back of a hunched dame. In times like these I wonder if the regular beating of my heart made me aware of things in a semiconscious state or I am really flitting in a dream,riding on the back of a mermaid on a passing cloud.

The trees and their willowy branches sway almost in unison to the echo of my thoughts. I even feel the stirring of the universe. It is both asleep and alive. While some go about in juxtaposition; awake but comatose. I do not think I am one of those,but close. I am losing some of that spark that keeps me jumping and shrieking in ecstasy about life,vigour and almost anything. Vitality I think. I wonder,and ponder about so many random things. In the still of the night,that is. I wonder about the face of evil,the cruelty done to innocent impressionable children,I wonder about the US wall st crisis and the elections, I wonder about my career,if what I am doing is a genuine representation of myself. I wonder about my girlfriends,if they are leading safe and happy lives, I wonder about my mum and if she's doing something about her health. My brother and how admirable he is to hold himself so well under such pressure as he monitors the oil prices. I wonder about that boy who told me I helped him find sense in life, I wonder about quiet and stoic nature he's had had for years and told me I managed to tap through the wallish exterior.And then I wonder about the various philosophies I've come to know over the years.

I wonder about life,humans and civilization and if the world would come to a bloody end had there been no order, according to Hobbes. I wonder about life and humans and the idea of intellectual property and if the world would be in chaos without the exchange of mutual benefits according to Locke. I wonder about life and humans the world we live in,if perhaps Foucault was right in saying the use and abuse of methods forced people to succumb to what we have come to perceive as "law". I wonder if he was right that the creation of prison in turn created prisoners rather than the latter to the former. I wonder about the spice girls and how they proclaim to be an emblem of feminism establishing the epicurean school of thought by using sexuality as a weapon to inverse power from men back into their hands. I wonder about the Chinese Olympics and how everyone lauded them only to realize they had covered up a grand spectacular botch about the milk scandal. I wonder about uproar going on in the Japanese and Thai governments and the Bagdad bombings as well as the ever trouble inflicted Russia-and her neighbours- saga.

I wonder about the demise of the familiar white rabbit candy I have had always loved to suck on in my growing years and the tainted reputation it shall never recover from. I wonder about the 53000 babies that have been sick from the milk poisoning. I wonder why people who subscribe to Marx say they are Marxists and Marx says he is not necessarily Marxist and others who believe in some form of the Marx's philosophy of a proleteriat revolution but not necessarily all of its applications call themselves Marxian. I wonder about the Marx-Engels idea of the capitalists and the problems and repurcussions that might come with their profiteering. I wonder about OJ Simpson and if he had perhaps really killed Nicole his ex wife and the recent verdict that pronounced him guilty of a different charge. I wonder about people and their grudges anger,about hip hop being a genre yet music and lyrics become real life gangstas and the hood,and that 9 shots on 50 cent. Yes,and asian music and how anything alternative and not cheesy poppish mainstream becomes immediate alienated and unmarketable. I wonder about why some friends from UK are the nicest people I have met ever suffer a reputation indicated by the rest of the world as "snobby brits",I wonder about my vacation to New York City and ponder how I walked the streets at 3am safely night after night in the darkest alleys but got stalked exasperatingly day after day in Singapore. I wonder about the nicest Cantonese dish I've tried in LA and wonder why I had nasty dimsum in Hong Kong. I wonder why the guy everyone said was a player became the guy who told me he wished I was ready to settle down. I wonder why diet cokes were always drunk by my friends who were slightly heavier and my thin as lynn friends would drink anything but still remain thin as lynn. I wonder why when I'm going out of my way to help a lady open the door to her cab,since she had her arms full of shopping bags, she glared and thought I was stealing her cab. I wonder wonder wonder why some artistes think everyone is constantly talking about them and that everyone must constantly talk about them.:) And then u meet them and they think it's weird u're not completely gushing over them.Well.i wonder too how some artistes are so amazingly successful but dressed in the deepest humility and would tell u,they are still learning with such sincerity. Indeed I will never stop wondering until all the sheep are noted.

goodnight.

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