Hi to all..

So much had happened in my life.  Lets see..

I got married on May 31st this year; a simple wedding ceremony between family members but no wedding dinner held yet.

I am jobless since last Friday and am still applying for jobs.  So far, I have been to one interview and yet to hear from them and tomorrow I'm attending another interview so wish me luck.

My parents are back together, bringing peace and harmony among ourselves which felt so good after all these years.  The other woman has brought so much problem in our lives and my dad has finally seen the bad side of her; she's just a possesive and controlling bitch.  I had my fair share of scolding her off on behalf of my dad and mum. 

For now, me and my husband are living together with my parents because I am unable to buy an apartment due to the Housing Development Board R&R because I haven't got a job yet and my husband is not a Singaporean so it makes things so much harder for me because my parents are intending to sell this current flat to solve debts that my dad incurred loss during his stock investments. 

So what have I been doing before everything else?  Well, I was working all these while; too lazy to check my emails sometimes but blogging was never in my mind.  By the time, I reach home, it will be too late for me to start on anything.  EXCUSES??  Probably, hahaha..  Like I mentioned, I was purely LAZY.. 

Do I plan to have kids for now? NO!  Definetly no!  Not a good time to have kids nor am I prepared to have kids.  I feel I am not matured enough to handle these kind of situation.  I am more concerned towards my career and my husband also feels the same way except in the beginning, he wants to have a baby with me which FREAKS ME OUT!! LOL!!  Yeah, you're not seeing things..FREAKS ME OUT.. I can't imagine myself going through labor and having the doctor to cut here, cut there...OMG!!  Thats damn gross, so bloody and so painful and after that, there's the stiches..Please, SPARE ME FROM ALL THESE..I've seen my sister gave birth and how she went through the process, it was terrible.  I remembered my younger sister telling me, "Jie, what others always say about, "its worth the pain when your baby is born" is all bullshit.  HAHAHAHAHA...I laughed..literally laugh my head off.  She was still shivering even after giving birth and man, she was so afraid to urine or pass motion.  OMG, you should have seen those stiches, OUCH!  So then again, I am not prepared to be a mother, what the heck, I'm such a LOSER and probably will be a LOSER till old. 

How is married life?  Nothing much special except on the wedding day itself.  My husband is sitll the same, romantic?  No..it seemed to have died down a long time ago.  Don't want to emphasize too much on it.

Whats coming?  MY BIRTHDAY!!  how times flies.  December 2 is the day.  I am already 26 years old and yet I haven't achieve anything in my life, what the heck!!  I am still going to work for others and be a minimum paid salary worker.  Its killing me!! Not that I do not want to study and upgrade myself but the financial situation is SUPER HUGE BIG BLOCK to anything I want to achieve in life.  I look at myself and see a FUCKED FACE.  LOL..  I feel like a total LOSER!  I mean people my age probably are doing better, directors, managers, supervisors and me...Money just got me stucked.  I am unable to move within my own means, even I want to break free, I gotta think about how my steps are affecting others in the family,  I just want to have a successful career like anybody else. 

Negative thinking?  Not really..  Even when someone screws my day, I still can laugh it off so I am still pretty much the optimistic person.

What am I expecting?  SOMEONE TO EMPLOY ME SOON.  Gosh..it sucks having no job at all and I just don't want to think about the rest for now. 

Where to find my latest updates?  Of course, the most popular website on Earth - FACEBOOK.. 

Since all of you missed me so much, I have decided to load pictures of my wedding day with some current pictures taken a few days ago - PLEASE DON'T SAY I AM NOT BEING FAIR HERE, at least I still resurface here in ALIVENOTDEAD..

Love you peeps..Muack!

Look at his face, he looks bored just being with me but i like..hahaha

Me and my sister decorated this on our own

My mum was the one who decorated this whole piece, it was so beautiful..

Me and my husband bought this table cloth and who selected the colors?  OF COURSE, ITS ME..hahahaha..

Our rings

I dont know what happen folks but I am unable to load the rest of the pictures..  Rest assure, I will load them up tomorrow because its 12:44am on a Tuesday Morning and I need to get some rest for now..

Tata..

look who's back..

i'm here in singapore.  the weather's in the philippines is scorching like mad; got my hair so damaged and my skin so burnt but nevertheless, I enjoyed my trip.  Internet access over there sucks for sure and the water, yes the water aint fresh - i'm always drinking salt water and it gets so bad down my throat by then again, I'm fine with.  Hahaha...contradicting sentence.  I haven't got much to say but some pictures for you guys to see.  Enjoy...

i'll be off to the philippines again this coming tuesday, march 17.  too bad, i've got a pretty bad stiff neck, lower back pain and shoulder aches for two days.  to make it worst, i'm down with a fever and a bad flu.  dang, it always happens when i'm going back to the philippines.  now, is it a sign or what? hahaha..  having a very bad headache because of the pain.  what should i blog about today? hmm...seems like i'm still not in the mood to talk about anything yet.  well, will be back again...

sorry folks..no update...

gosh, i have no idea how long i havent logged into alivenotdead.  most of the time, i spent my freetime logging to my hotmail, yahoo, friendster, facebook and ebay account checking for mails but spent the longest time in facebook because of pet society.  found it to be a really cute game, simply got me addicted to it.  its always good to blog once in a while because only then i will have more things to share about.  you know i'm not a celebrity and i dont have any fancy pictures or events to share about, i'm just plain jane living in a simple world but thats fine.  i'm pretty happy with life.  what's next, well...i'm resigning my current job, woo hoo...felt abit sad because i'll be missing my colleagues and joining my best friend's company as a stock broker.  aint no expert in the stock market but will be undergoing training; thats for sure.  we'll see how it goes.  somehow or rather, i've always wanted to linger around the entertainment industry but i dont know whats holding me back.  could it be i really i have low self esteem in myself?  sometimes the so called "beautiful" people in the industry scares me...its like you will only find people who are very beautiful/handsome, slim and fit and super talented in many ways.  omg, just why am i so negative, hahaha...if there is any reason why i want to be in the entertainment line is because i've always loved to perform and entertain people.  i mean i've been doing ballets, chinese dance, hip hop dances, some short acts and singing in both elementary and high school and to have people applausing to your performance is so much more you can witheld within your own feelings.  the signs of recognition.  fame?  i dont know. but i simply love it.  who doesn't?  i tried modelling for fashion events and i kinda get to know that backstage, everything looks different when you are on stage looking your best, doing the catwalk etc..but then again, i just love it.  i love it when we had to change our outfits in such a short time and making sure we look our best before we walk on stage again to strut out our best outfits; the challenge..smells really good.  it can be really tiring especially after the whole event, you still have to stay around and mingle with people who are in the industry, get to know the big bosses etc.. but it seems like a sense of achievement for me.  why am i hesistating again?  i dont know..hahahaha..i need to build up my self esteem again, dont know why..maybe i have been hiding behind walls for quite sometime now..hahahaha...anyways, i hope to see myself in the entertainment line someday..not saying it would be easy for me but i just need support, moral support i guess.. well, thanks for reading my blog. hope its something interesting for you guys to read..

god bless,

vanessa

wo..wo.. wo...looks like i'm missing out a great deal of updates here.

but hey, i'm alive not dead. hahaha...i've been too lazy to blog but nevertheless, i sitll will blog here once in while.  hmm...not good huh...i'll do my best to keep everyone updated.  this year i've been out of the country 4 times, woo hoo...its a good thing for me because i've long been finding ways to relax myself.  next week, i'll be in the philippines from nov 29 to dec 1 and then dec 2, i'll be celebrating my birthday in singapore and not long after, i'll be out of the country again on dec 6 - 8 to malaysia.  thought it aint far from my country but hey, whats not to missed is the relaxation.  so happy..  oh yes, i have achieved a new goal for myself and that is to lose weight.  i lost 8 kg in 2 weeks..amazing; i havent eaten rice or taken any meat for a very long time but i'm still 4kg away to my ideal weight.  i know i can do it despite knowing that good food shouldnt be missed out.  i'm so happy - there's a huge difference in my clothes size. cool man!!  besides working, i also find time now to upload "new" pictures of myself and thought it was pretty cool to play around with.  here are the pictures but dont expect pictures of myself in a slim state now because i havent take any pictures of myself now - I PROMISE I WILL LOAD IT UP..hahaha :>  alright, enough of my bullshiting..here are the pics:

 i was supposed to be acting with the others in the sitcom 'FRIENDS' but after Jennifer Aniston came begging after me saying she want to experience stardom life, I gave up my part entirely because she was so sincere but damn, she's so famous now and i'm just a nobody.  Now what are you looking at?  move on...

i just realized that my biological father was Lionel Ritchie

oh did you know my mum was half american too?

getting all set for guys to date me out

when i just got married, this was how i looked

lastly, this is a picture of great great great grandmother.. cool huh...

hahaha...i will drop by again...hope you guys find these pictures refreshing...

love ya people...love the nation, love obama...:>