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  • feel ashamed!

    Friday, Jun 19, 2009 11:24PM / Standard Entry / Members only
    3 comments

    Feel so ashamed today!
    Today I brought some clothes to my shop to wash, who will know that I cried while washing my clothes. I am tired, not body but my heart is!  It makes few weeks that my mother is sick so everyday when I get back home I have to take care of her . But I don't feel tired about caring her, I'm tired about all the problems to solve at home : some kids broke my window so have to pay for reparation (few hundreds again), all home bill's to pay and many others problems. As my mother is sick, I don't want to bother her but I feel that I can't hold anymore.  I really have never imagined that none 3 brothers and 2 sisters can help me but add weigh on me. So today, as I have no much to do  I wash some clothes but while I washed them I was asking myself : " why I have to support everything?" "why I have to suffer alone?" " why always me" " a lot of peoples are dying in the world why isn't my turn?" when it will be my turn?" I am so tired so at the end I cry. Crying and washing clothes in the same time, I guess it's my first time. The funniest is that I rubbed my shirt so strong that I almost tear it apart and when someone come is the shop, I wiped my tears and go to serve them but they can tell that I was crying but I lied to them that it's the soap that irritated my eyes. I feel so ashamed before the costumer with my red eyes but I felt better, much better after cry out. Usually I daren't to cry in the shop so felt that I can't breath, so hard to bear this feeling but today I did it and feel so good.

Entry comments (3)

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  • vivianl
    Official artist Vivian L
    posted on Monday, Jun 22, 2009 9:23PM [Report]
    Don't feel ashamed...sometimes the best way to feel better is to let it all out, cry and sob and scream. And you did feel good after that.

    Stay strong, girl...things will get better soon. Have faith.
  • jasmineT
     jasmineT
    posted on Saturday, Jun 20, 2009 3:14AM [Report]
    are you OK? as peachey told you, laughing and crying is very good for you to cope effectively with stress. how is your mom? hope her quick recovery.
    ganbare liusing!!!!!
  • peachey
    peachey
    posted on Saturday, Jun 20, 2009 2:10AM [Report]
    I also believe having a good cry helps to relieve some stress. I'm sorry to hear that your mom is sick. Is it something that she can get better from? I really think you should involve your other siblings when the pressure is too much for you. I can imagine they're only thinking of themselves right now which is why they're not helping enough.

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